Parents Must Address Their Kids’ Acting Out Behaviors, And Here is How
No more with this, “kids will be kids” excuse.
As we grow, we are always tested through our experiences. Learning as an adolescent can be especially difficult. They’re no longer a little kid but still just in the early teen stage.
During this time of development, an array of emotions, self-image, conflicts of that “devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other” moments arise. Though we trust that the positive and cultural values that we instill in our children are vivid, we hope when they are required to make life’s vital decisions, they are able.
Don’t go too far with pointing the finger!
Oh, wait Mom and Dad! Don’t go too far with pointing the finger! Before the war begins, we should at least take a moment to look back on our own experiences and recall the choices that we made.
Take a minute to think about the current issues that our children face. How are they different from the issues we faced when we were their age? How are they the same?
Beginning this thought process doesn’t excuse the decisions our children make. However, it gives us a clearer insight into what our children may be going through emotionally, socially, and physically and how we should or not respond.
Parenting is subjective.
We normally parent the way we were raised, the opposite of that form (depending on the lasting effect it had on us), or we use some child-rearing strategies that we have read about or given advice about.
Here are a few suggestions when issues arise with your child and you feel as if you might just lose it, OMG!:
1). Take a quick minute before responding. Make sure you breathe and be hesitant before responding. Decipher that you are responding to your child and not necessarily the issue. The difference between the two can be blurred at times.
Sometimes we have our personal issues about the topic and indirectly respond. Although we can forget that it is our child and not our sub-conscience that we need to be addressing.
2). Clearly and calmly make sure everyone is discussing the facts. Children tend to talk about irrelevant points of a situation, many times as an avoidance tactic from facing the truth/facts head-on.
Of course, once you have established the facts with your child, feel free to let them elaborate on those supporting (or not so supportive) details, you decide.
3). Your child needs to know of your disappointments and why. When your children understand how it affects truly affects you, they tend to connect a bit more (from my experience).
It is up to you how much information or examples you give your children at this time. Disclosure is a path to other conversations, but parents will know how much detail (if any) of their own life they want to reveal.
Lastly, how devastating it is to be forced to face off with your child discussing a negative issue or situation that they have participated in. Remember, life is full of joys and sadness.
Conclusion
There are times when we will laugh and times we will cry over our children. Take each situation, lesson, moment, celebration, success, or even those failures as they come.
Know that we are humans and we are prone to make mistakes. Let us all face future situations, work through them, pray for wisdom and strength, and continue to live understanding that, this too, shall pass.
How did you handle your last disciplinary conversation with your child(ren)?
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