Now is the moment to overcome your confirmation biases
When we see only what we want to see, we deny ourselves important opportunities to grow, connect and change together.
by: E.B. Johnson
No matter where you look these days, you’ll see confirmation bias staring right back in your face. It’s hard to miss it in the angry and enraged faces and outbursts all around us. Most are justified, many are not. This cognitive distortion is poisonous, and it seems to be especially prevalent in our angst-ridden, political and hyper-charged society that teeters forever on the brink.
Confirmation bias warps the way we think, but it also warps the way we connect with people different from us. It makes both basic and important decisions impossible. In failing to challenge our preconceived notions or beliefs we fail to grow as people, and we fail to build a better world for ourselves and our children. We have to open up and learn how to delve into the systems of belief or fear we use to keep ourselves contained. Only then can we find a new world of wonder and discovery. That takes courage, though. And it takes knowing that there is no such thing as having all the answers all the time.
The truth about our confirmation biases.
We are living through fraught and tension-laden times. It seems like we’re more divided than ever, and (for some) that comes down to biases and the information is sought out and processed. Confirmation bias is a something that we all struggle with, but it’s something that can only be eradicated by consciously and forcefully cracking open your thinking; in order to seek out information that potentially contradicts your own ideas.
At its most basic level, confirmation bias is a cognitive bias that causes us to seek out, favor, interpret and recall information in a way that only confirms our beliefs. It’s a precarious way to live life, and it prevents us not only from truly connecting with others — it also causes us to miss out on the beautiful and transformative reality of life.
Cognitive biases like this are systemic, and negative impact every plane of our lives when we don’t consciously put an end to its undermining. That’s a long process, however, and one that requires facing up to your fears while bravely opening up your mind to the possibility that you might not be right about everything all the time. One of the most transformative things we can do in this life is to learn to think outside of the box. That’s a choice that has to come from within, though, and it’s one that requires a lot of courage and compassion.
Where our confirmation biases come from.
Like it or not, our confirmation biases come from a very real and very basic primal place. As humans, we have really fragile senses of self, and we like to bolster those ideas of self with the feeling of being “right” or being “superior”. Whether it’s challenge avoidance or reinforcement seeking, getting past your biases takes knowing the root of their causes.
Reinforcement seeking
Outside of our fear of being wrong, we’re painfully and toxically addicted to the dopamine hit we get from being right. Getting it right (especially over someone else) feels good, and it can often provide a sense of power, superiority or dominance. We want to know that we’re right, and we want to prove that we’re right to other people. Reinforcement seeking is one of the greatest reasons that we seek to make all the information around us fit the opinions we’ve seemingly pulled from thin air (and our personal experiences).
Challenge avoidance
Though humans sit atop the food chain in all our hubris-clinging glory, we have a fragile sense of self-esteem and even more delicate egos. Even the biggest, bravest, strongest person will cringe at the idea of being told they’re wrong. We hate it, and because we hate being wrong, a lot of us work hard to be right at any cost at all. That’s why challenge avoidance is the number one reason we lean into our confirmation biases. When you can’t tolerate being wrong, you’ll twist reality itself to make yourself right.
The toxic ways we self-confirm our beliefs.
There are a number of ways in which we self-confirm our own beliefs, but — unless you happen to be born with all the knowledge of the cosmos — it’s just not possible to be right about everything all the time. It’s important that we look outward for additional confirmation of our beliefs and knowledge, and it’s important to know the ways in which we toxically self-confirm our own beliefs, denying ourselves both truth and opportunity.
Building the echo chamber
When we are battling confirmation bias, we tend to look for information that already agrees with the ideas that we’re forming. As humans, we’re emotional creatures and those emotions can guide us in a lot of ways. Those emotions aren’t always truthful, however, and the end-results they lead us to are (likewise) often erroneous. Searching for information that already confirms what you think doesn’t allow you to expand your mind, and it doesn’t allow you to truthfully assess whether your thoughts are based in a firm perception of reality. It’s building an echo chamber around yourself.
Misinterpreting information
Unfortunately, our C.B. doesn’t just stop at the search for our selection of information. Even after putting in the effort to look into the facts, our natural biases will often force us to then interpret information in a way that better suits our narrative. That is to say that, even if the information you’re given proves that your original thinking is wrong — with a strong confirmation bias — you still maintain your own delusional truth, and flip the facts to fit whatever picture you’re trying to paint.
Warping the recall
Think that your confirmation bias stops at twisting the way you process information in real time alone? Think again. Our C.B. is a vicious companion, and it can even impact the way we recall or remember information. That means it causes you to recall information that fits whatever story you’re trying to tell, and it makes you recall situations in such a way that better aligns with your beliefs. You might forget certain parts of an experience or story, or you might flat-out incorrectly remember contradictory information.
Leaning toward conclusions
After you’ve initiated the search for information, our C.B. (confirmation bias) usually ups the anti by next causing us to favor any information we find that lands on our side of an argument or idea. This is to say we dismiss, often out of hand, any information we might come across that invalidates or negates the opinion we originally formed in the first place. It might look like referencing an article from a dodgy site, over a peer-researched piece, because it lands more in-line with the truth you desire to believe. The problem, however, is that it does nothing to assist in your own growth, and it does nothing to plant you firmly in reality…where all the opportunities lie.
How our biases undermine our opportunities.
Confirmation bias is toxic, especially if left unaddressed, and can force our thinking into restrictive and negative patterns that help us to deny ourselves true opportunity. Part of becoming happy in the midst of life’s adversity is learning how to see past our own hangups to the ultimate truths that can guide us on toward the future we want to build.
Crippled decision making
When you only seek out information that confirms what you already believe (or think you believe), it has a massive impact on the quality of your decision making. Making the right choices for our lives requires having some facts to hand. Those facts might be great, or they might be bad. The key to deciding correctly is knowing both the upside and the downside, so you can minimize any negative fallout. When you only see what you want to see, you make delusional decisions that are based in fantasy, more than they are in reality.
Inability to think objectively
Cognitive biases twist the way we think and that, in turn, can cause us to twist reality in ways that don’t actually suit our personal growth and development. When you fail to see life and your circumstances for what they really are, you deny yourself the ability to think objectively. You also deny yourself the opportunity to “gather all the facts” or develop all the information in a way that would allow you to make a more efficient (and better fitting) decision.
Rupturing potential relationships
In severely divided societies, deeply entrenched confirmation biases can cause us to lose out on important connections that might otherwise lead to positive change within our environments. When we expand our thinking, we expand the way we see others and that can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections across the board. C.B. doesn’t just impact the way we make decisions about things like work or investment. It also impacts our relationships and the way we see and value the people around us in every respect.
Absorbing the wrong information
Failing to look at things objectively forces you to miss out on important information, which in turn causes you to deny yourself a number of opportunities. For instance, clinging to the belief that there can be only one form of industry might cause you to miss a job opportunity in a burgeoning new field. Other examples can include skimming over critical medical information, or even missing out on investment opportunities; all because of a failure to expand your perception of what is and what is not.
The best ways to start overcoming your confirmation biases.
Thankfully, suffering from confirmation bias doesn’t have to be a permanent state. We can change the way we think and learn how to see life for what it is when we lean into the unknown and learn how to release our fear. Little-by-little, we learn how to find the truth even in the midst of chaos. And in that, we can start to find comfort and meaning in the constant change and flux that is life.
1. Cutting the cord with your fear
Letting go of our biases is a scary process, and that’s because it forces us to face up to what is unknown, as well as the possible that we’re fallible and flawed. When we let go of our biases, we let go of our need to control the abyss and we let go of our need to use fear as the shield by which we safeguard our wellbeing. Only when we let go of our fear, can we open up our minds in truly powerful and transformative ways. That takes time, though, and it takes a certain amount of personal courage and fortitude.
Expanding our thinking can be scary, and when we hear the phrase “open up your mind” we often think of brainwashing or drastic shifts that change who we are at our core. Opening up the way we think isn’t the same as “drinking the Kool-Aid,” however. It simply means getting more critical about the way you analyze information and refusing to shut the door on things that aren’t quite what you expected.
Fear of the unknown or the unusual is natural, but it’s also self-destructive and self-constrictive. We are scared of different opinions or different points of view because we don’t know where we fit within them. But that’s the beautiful part. When you let go of your fear and start embracing new ways of being, you can find transformative new truths and life-altering new relationships that bring more meaning and fulfillment into your life. That takes understanding that you alone determine who you are, however, even if you’re confronted with an idea or a concept that is contrary to your own.
2. Getting in the way of your ego
The human ego can be vicious, and it can be one of the prime reasons we struggle so much with contradictory ideas or points of view. Our egos get in the way big time, and they become that voice that tells us we are always right and everyone else is always wrong. Getting control of your ego is one of the biggest steps you can take in the journey to surpassing your confirmation biases. By letting go of our need to be right, we can find the beauty in being wrong and connect with our inner growth.
Get used to confronting your ego and do so on a regular basis. Mindful journalling is a great way to get in touch with our ego and rein in its nastier tendencies. Think about times when your personal pride or sense of “right” was upset. Consider what led you to that point, and how you felt as it happened. Were you angry? Scared? Hurt? Embarrassed? Keep track of your emotions and consider them logically against the weight of the situation.
By doing this on a regular basis, we can form a detached view of both our opinions, and the emotions which feed our biases and our egos. Notice the patterns and work hard to master your ego in similar future instances, when your personal sense of pride would normally get affronted or riled up. Look for triggers that cause you to pull back and challenge them bravely by asking yourself if they are coming from a place of truth or a place of supreme ego and desire to be right at all costs? Our egos are delicate things, but they are the masters of us. Confront your ego regularly, and keep it in check so you can live a happy, adjusted life.
3. Embracing the discomfort
Life is hard, and it constantly confronts with ideas, concepts and people that challenge our perspective and challenge our sense of self. A big part of creating a life that is authentically our own is to learn how to get comfortable with these uncomfortable, and sometimes challenging, experiences. By learning how to lean into the discomfort of facing up to our fears or ideas that are different from our own, we can create a whole new way of looking at the world that unlocks powerful new opportunities.
Understand that nothing about life is easy, and no single idea you have will ever be universally true. Be okay with disagreements, and understand that — sometimes — it is through argument, discourse and dialogue that we come to know more intimate parts of ourself and the world. We build our understanding of self by confronting and challenging the foundations views of self we bring into the world. This is growth and, painful though it can be, it is a beautiful process.
Start small, and lean into challenging your beliefs and your thought processes slowly. Do 3 small things each day that put you outside your comfort zone. Then, when you’re comfortable with that, upgrade by making the effort to reach out to 3 new people every week. Creating new connections is a great way to come face-to-face with new ideas and concepts than can brighten and enlighten our lives. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, and it’s okay to feel like you don’t know enough or you need to learn more. There’s always space and always room to become more than you were and gain more than you knew.
4. Asking the right questions
As kids, our curiosity and sense of wonder is often discouraged when our endless barrages of questions are shut down with a sharp, “Because I said so!” From that moment on, we stop asking; and that leads eventually to a sense of your own entitled sense of all-knowing finality. Asking questions, however, is one of the most critical ways by which expand our knowledge and bridge the chasms that divide us from opportunity and connection.
Become a pro at asking good, solid questions that help you better explore your own sense of self, as well as the perspectives and stories of others. Rather than asking someone what they think, ask them why they believe something. Dig into their backstories and try to figure out where they’re coming from, rather than just seeing the point they’re trying to make.
There’s so much to be gleamed in the context of someone else’s point. Don’t just listen to the words at their face value. Consider the tone when someone is sharing with you and consider their choice of words. Voice is everything, and when we use our voices to ask questions — then actively listen when they’re answered — we can come to a better understanding of that other person, but also come to a better understanding of self.
5. Creating channels of communication
One of the keys to making sure we stay receptive to new and truthful information is to make sure we always keep our channels of communication open. We shouldn’t just make sure we’re talking to our friends and family. We should talk to strangers, acquaintances and people who we know have different opinions from ourselves. We shouldn’t just read books, papers and articles that align with the things we know, or the things we enjoy. We should challenge our ideas constantly and we do that by opening up our channels.
Don’t close yourself off to new information. Instead, make it your mission to become a receptacle for all the knowledge of the universe. You don’t have to follow every new trend, and you don’t have to invest in every new theory as though it were fact. Engage your brain, though, and get genuinely interested in the world around you.
Be humble. Realize how much you don’t really know and set out to correct that. Listen to those who have more experience than you and compare their knowledge against the things you hold in your heart. Do your opinions conflict with their facts out of emotion? Do your beliefs come from a place of nostalgia or past pain, rather than factual reality? We have to constantly probe our knowledge and seek out new knowledge, so that we may form a more complete picture of the world and our place in it.
6. Mastering your own thoughts
Not only do you have to open yourself up to new information, in order to defeat your confirmation bias, but you also have to be a master of forming new and unique thoughts of your own — based in reality. Thinking on your own terms is a critical part of letting go of your biases, but it takes digging deep and it requires piecing together the thousands of tiny truths to form original and fact-based opinions.
Stop keeping yourself chained to the thoughts and ideologies of other people. Form your own opinion on things by researching and taking the time to connect with people who are different from you. Take in the information that feels right to you, and let go of the things that mis-align with what is real, honest and factual.
Think on your own terms and don’t let your perspective be twisted by the emotional opinions or point-of-view of others. Let go of your need to please or your need to fit in, and honor truth a justice above all other forms of ego or pride. Our lives and our environments are constantly in flux. The only things in this life that are guaranteed are change and death. Embrace the impermanence of it all and stand strong in the strength of your newfound knowledge and opinions.
Putting it all together…
Confirmation bias is a toxic and pervasive way of thinking, and one that can seriously undermine our happiness and opportunities over time. When we seek out only the information that confirms our beliefs, or we focus only on information that makes us comfortable or feel pleasant — we deny ourselves the opportunity of seeing life for what it is, and in that we lose true transformation.
Let go of your fear and understand that no one single person has the answers to everything. Embrace the things you don’t know and seek to know and transformative knowledge at every opportunity. Confront your ego and get comfortable being uncomfortable. If you want to know more about something or someone, ask good, solid questions and listen to the tone and the meaning that’s found in-between. Not every ounce of meaning can be gleamed from the words we use or the opinions we form alone. Consider where information comes from and consider the context in which the information is set. As humans, we’re all prone to a thousand little biases that prevent us from seeing the higher truth. Start thinking on your own terms and stand firm in the knowledge that you don’t have to have all the answers all the time. Strive for truth in all things and the rest will follow.
