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1906

Abstract

sue their inalienable right to overeat, put too much on the credit cards, drink too heavily, give ugly sweaters to each other, and wear their masks under their noses. Got that, Champ? Now. Out of the way.</p><p id="ffd5">There’s celebrating to be done. You know things have gotten to a boiling point when New Yorkers — roughly 95% of whom are pretty COVID-compliant after having our asses handed to us in March and April — are lining up to get the magic Go Directly To Grandma’s pass.</p><p id="a029">While I can’t be too hard on my fellow bipeds, it’s been one seriously rough year after all, I’ve never understood the magnetic pull towards obligatory celebrations.</p><div id="c8a4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/slouching-away-from-bethlehem-bdce54b0bf66"> <div> <div> <h2>Slouching Away From Bethlehem*</h2> <div><h3>For those of us not interested in Being Of Good Cheer</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*1MhheiuokTbQ64luhfixXA.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="1f29">Every year I watch the annual madness revving up. The first bits of tinsel hit the stores around Halloween these days (This year, being special and all, I was seeing silver bells decking the halls around the end of September. Honest to God). I can remember sitting on a southbound M7 bus going past Macy’s two days before Christmas several years ago and being horrified at the masses of people shoving to get into the store.</p><p id="8e6e">What is it that turns otherwise intelligent, well-adjusted people into maniacs this time of year? Rhetorical question.</p><p id="2f01" type="7">Any other year this annual insanity is weird

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enough</p><p id="f59b">We’re leaving weird in our rearview mirrors, folks. We’re heading directly to batshit nuts and we’re not slowing down. And I’m not even talking about the whack jobs in DC right now!</p><figure id="b5d5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*oO-usUlZwi32i4REh29ceQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="9139">Nearly 2,000 people dead of the virus today. Another 172,391 new cases today. Every state’s numbers are trending up. Is this really the time to pack up the kids and travel to spend the long holiday weekend with The Family? What are you people thinking? <i>Are</i> you thinking?</p><p id="9b0c">Why?</p><p id="a1d8">Why is this annual ritual so important? I’m willing to bet that about half of the people putting themselves through this aren’t doing it because they so badly need time with their extended families. Some even dread this sad, miserable dance every year. But they sigh, pull on what they think are big boy pants, and show TF up.</p><p id="8ba5">It’s like watching a bizarre type of mass psychosis in action.</p><p id="559f">A friend asked if we’d be cooking anything special for the holiday. On, you mean Thursday? Let’s see. We’ve got a nice piece of wild-caught cod in the freezer. That would be good. There’s also that lovely ricotta lemon ravioli that AleXander got at Trader Joe’s last week. There’s always brown rice, marinated tofu, vegetables, and toasted pumpkin seeds. Is that special enough?</p><p id="f054">Weeks ago as the numbers were skyrocketing around the country and then shivered a little and began to rise here we got busy hoarding again. Now we’re very well stocked and ready to push the refrigerator against the door, cue up some movies, and ignore the world for the next two months.</p><p id="7fdb">Happy holidays!</p><p id="b380"><i>© Remington Write 2020. All Rights Reserved.</i></p></article></body>

Over The River and Through The Woods

As soon as we all test negative for the virus, that is

Photo Credit — AleXander Hirka / COVID testing line NYC / Used with permission

I began seeing these lines at City MD storefront urgent care centers about two or three weeks ago. At first, they weren’t very long, maybe six or eight people but soon enough they began stretching past the entrance to the grocery store at 103rd and Broadway — very confusing for the guy who sits there, wishing people a nice day and asking for a buck or two — and then to the corner and then around the corner. Were that many people suddenly remembering they hadn’t gotten their flu shots?

Oh. Right.

Thanksgiving is coming and everyone suddenly needs to have a negative COVID test to go to Grandma’s for the holiday.

That’s right, friends, it’s The Holidays! Perhaps you missed that Charlie Brown Christmas tree being set up in Rockefeller Center and sadly The Rockettes will not be kicking it up at Radio City Music Hall. Those Grinches at the CDC are trying to tell people not to travel for the holidays. Clearly, those dozens and dozens of people lined up to get a super-sized Q-tip rammed up into the northern reaches of their sinuses have made their decision.

Mister Cuomo and his Orange Zone are about to be ignored along with anything Dr. Fauci and all the elves at the CDC have to say. The Will of The People is not going to be denied. As God is their witness, The American People are going to pursue their inalienable right to overeat, put too much on the credit cards, drink too heavily, give ugly sweaters to each other, and wear their masks under their noses. Got that, Champ? Now. Out of the way.

There’s celebrating to be done. You know things have gotten to a boiling point when New Yorkers — roughly 95% of whom are pretty COVID-compliant after having our asses handed to us in March and April — are lining up to get the magic Go Directly To Grandma’s pass.

While I can’t be too hard on my fellow bipeds, it’s been one seriously rough year after all, I’ve never understood the magnetic pull towards obligatory celebrations.

Slouching Away From Bethlehem*

For those of us not interested in Being Of Good Cheer

medium.com

Every year I watch the annual madness revving up. The first bits of tinsel hit the stores around Halloween these days (This year, being special and all, I was seeing silver bells decking the halls around the end of September. Honest to God). I can remember sitting on a southbound M7 bus going past Macy’s two days before Christmas several years ago and being horrified at the masses of people shoving to get into the store.

What is it that turns otherwise intelligent, well-adjusted people into maniacs this time of year? Rhetorical question.

Any other year this annual insanity is weird enough

We’re leaving weird in our rearview mirrors, folks. We’re heading directly to batshit nuts and we’re not slowing down. And I’m not even talking about the whack jobs in DC right now!

Nearly 2,000 people dead of the virus today. Another 172,391 new cases today. Every state’s numbers are trending up. Is this really the time to pack up the kids and travel to spend the long holiday weekend with The Family? What are you people thinking? Are you thinking?

Why?

Why is this annual ritual so important? I’m willing to bet that about half of the people putting themselves through this aren’t doing it because they so badly need time with their extended families. Some even dread this sad, miserable dance every year. But they sigh, pull on what they think are big boy pants, and show TF up.

It’s like watching a bizarre type of mass psychosis in action.

A friend asked if we’d be cooking anything special for the holiday. On, you mean Thursday? Let’s see. We’ve got a nice piece of wild-caught cod in the freezer. That would be good. There’s also that lovely ricotta lemon ravioli that AleXander got at Trader Joe’s last week. There’s always brown rice, marinated tofu, vegetables, and toasted pumpkin seeds. Is that special enough?

Weeks ago as the numbers were skyrocketing around the country and then shivered a little and began to rise here we got busy hoarding again. Now we’re very well stocked and ready to push the refrigerator against the door, cue up some movies, and ignore the world for the next two months.

Happy holidays!