The Daily Write
Opening the wounds of grief
If time travel was my superpower, would I dare to go back?
Writing Prompt, June 3rd: You are a superhero for a day — what’s your power? What do you do?
I have been back & forth on this one... My automatic thought was what good could I bring to the world in just one single day? But then my mind kept being pulled in another direction.
Would I be selfish if I chose something that would benefit only me & not others? Would choosing to be able to step back in time to spend one more day with my Dad be considered selfish? Should I try & think of something that would benefit as many people as possible?
How on earth do I decide this?!
Then I thought about it in the essence of what this is, a hypothetical situation, a fun prompt to get my imagination flowing, & if I wanted to imagine spending that time with my Dad, then why not?!
Of course, if I could stop world hunger, and ensure that everyone was safe & free to live their lives then I would — but for this, I’m allowing myself to indulge in what spending 24 hours with my Dad would be like.
All good I thought as I sat & began to type. But then my thoughts were off again…
He has been gone for exactly 1/2 of my life now. Would it reignite the rawness of the grief? Would it be too difficult? Is it best to remain where I am today, 22 years later - Still missing him terribly, but with a whole life built around the ball of grief?
It’s hard to know, but my gut said to be with my Dad, as it normally does with things like this. The reflections that came after this though, highlight my fear of experiencing that intense level of grief again.
When someone dies suddenly there are always so many questions & things left unsaid. It leaves a lack of closure & acceptance, so my superpower would be to have that final chance, and then to fully move forward, with some sadness of missed moments, but without regret of what was left unspoken.
I’m surprised as I always am when I write on Medium of the direction that my thoughts take me. With this challenge I am trying to embrace the freedom in doing just that — not being sure of where my thoughts will take me, but having the faith that it will lead to something!
Thank you for reading! Whilst writing as a career may not come to fruition for me, having this platform to build my confidence in doing so, and feeling okay to be my authentic self has been such a gift.
I am happy with the decision to pursue my desires as a superhero for today's challenge as it’s allowed me to explore my thoughts around something so very important to me.
KEY MESSAGE: It’s okay to put our own needs & desires at the front sometimes, it doesn’t make us selfish, it makes us human.
Lynsey
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