OPEN LETTERS
Open Letter to the Coen Brothers
“The Big Lebowski” is one of my favorite films, but my landmark 1987 essay about being a “Dude” predates your masterpiece
Dear Beloved Coen Brothers,
Long before Jeff Bridges stumbled around in 1998 with his “Caucasian” — a White Russian — spitting out hilarious dude-line after dude-line about “this aggression will not stand” and the rug “really ties the room together” and “watch out, man, I have a beverage here,” I was The Dude in 1987.
In my way, I hope, dear Coen Brothers, to have helped popularize and polish the bowling alley for The Big Lebowski. I wrote a short series of columns — well — actually one — for my school newspaper about the Dude philosophy. It was, after all, May, and this Dude had other things to do, man. Writing is tough as a senior.
Perhaps you may have stumbled upon my landmark essay from 1987. Perhaps my column inspired you to write this comic masterpiece. As a Disciple of Dudeism, even now, I consider both of you, Joel and Ethan Coen, Fellow Dudes. I am not sure how cool it is to be a Dude now, and I’m not sure that everything I wrote as a high school senior now applies in a world so changed — in many positive ways, man.
It was as if you Dudes channeled my essay to capture the Dude philosophy so brilliantly in your flick.
The other day actually, a student asked me, “Mr. Bowne, what is a Dude and what is Dudeism?”
“My father is Mr. Bowne,” I said. “You can call me ‘Down with Bowne’ or just Bowne, or even The Dude.
“What?”
“Do you really know nothing about Dudeism?”
“Can we call you just the teacher?”
I gasped. “No! Don’t ever call me teacher! Sensei. Maestro. Professor, maybe. Or just ‘Dude in a Classroom.’”
But I know one thing, dear Coen Brothers: my look and Jeff Bridges look are eerily similar. Is Life imitating Art or is your Art imitating my Life?
And did you name the character Walter after me? What’s so funny and insane about a dude named Walter? Ok — the name does fit your character, btw. We are crazy people, us Walters of the World.
With Covid-19, Dudeism has helped me navigate through the complications of life. Perhaps a reminder to readers about the foundations and the philosophies of Dudeism is appropriate.
Let me state from the start, Toxic Males are NOT Dudes. That is Anti-Dudical. Sexism is also against the Protocols of Dudeism. Racism, likewise, as always, is strongly condemned. Many of the best Dudes of all have been African American, Asian, Latino — even Russian. Dostoevsky was a Dude. But Putin is an Anti-Dude. Same thing for almost all politicians. And Samuel L. Jackson — really — does one even need to ask? Total Dudeness!
Dudeism has strong elements of libertarianism, allowing “people to be people,” but Dudeism also has a strong connection to community and friends — and keeping the world free from fascists and sycophants.
A fascist can never be a Dude. And yes, now in 2021, anyone of any gender can be a Dude. That’s called progressive thinking, man!
Back in 1987, I would welcome women as Dudeetts. Doesn’t that sound demeaning — something Dude Light? I meant well. What did we know in primitive 1987 without the internet and cell phones and Netflix? Have you ever listened to some of the hits from back then — like Starship’s “We Built This City?” and “Rock Me Amadeus” from Falco?
It’s like having different words for waiters and actors. A woman is an actor. A woman can also be a Dude.
The world moves on, people. Am I right, Brothers?
In your amazing opening scene, the amazing actor Sam Elliot, in a Western accent, says as a voice-over:
A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin’ parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
Even in New Jersey in 1987, I was also one of those “fellas.” And if you talk to my wife and my daughters and my friends, I imagine there is also a lot of me that “doesn’t make a whole lot of sense” either.
That’s the Mystery of Faith in the Guiding Principles of Dudeism. Flush “sense” down the toilet. Just don’t add a ferret to our bathtubs. And yes — Dudes take baths. Dudes, in the Romantic sense, march to “a different drummer.”
So without any more filler and fluff and further ado before a final adieu, here is what I wrote in The Voyager in 1987 about Dudeism.
Dudeism
Noun. 1. quality or state of being a man who is consciously alert and aware at all times to his own physical mental and physical being. 2. a social philosophy of one who strives to maintain the Code of Cool.
Dudes have a code of Their Own. There are very few dudes left who follow the guiding principles of Dudeism set forth ages ago by the founding Dudes and the Disciples of the Faith. The philosophy behind Dudeism is simple — eliminate the dull, the boring, and the commonplace whenever possible, and above all, strive to maintain a universal ‘Code of Cool.’
Historians have traced the early roots of Dudeism to prehistoric man. A tribal leader Ivan B. Groovin’ needed something to cruise around in. Walking was such a drag. So he invented the all-important wheel.
Shortly afterward, his great-grandson, Yubin Groovin’ harnessed fire when he needed something to light his cigarette.
It wasn’t until the height of the Roman Empire when an order named Hardus Gaius collected the scattered writings of Dudeism and wrote the “hard guy” Manifesto — De Arte Magna Dude — or ‘The Fine Art of Being A Great Dude.”
The Latin word for Dude is the English word Dude. Some things never change. The Greek word for Dude is Φίλε.
This sacred text contains three basic tenets of Dudeism.
First, a disciple must express his coolness through flexible use of the language. Short sentences are encouraged. And monosyllables. Don’t expect full sentences all of the time. Active verbs — even made-up words — are encouraged. Vagueness, like the word, “thing” or “Hey Man” is “cool.”
Other words include a variation of trashed, way trashed, totally trashed, slammed, cruised, whipped, whipped, wiped, and ripped. Dudes establish an aura of calm and relaxation by stating such words. Dudes use words without violence or hostility — unless our sense of coolness or the hipness of others has been violated.
Second, the dude must always be fully alert and have firm control of the situation. If a dude walks into a room full of people, everyone already knows a true dude has arrived. An experienced dude has a mysterious aura surrounding them. A dude usually has one’s ‘chi’ in balance. The yin is fine with the yang. A dude is at one within and without and does not need much. A dude usually always loves music — and maybe even snobbish about certain artists. A dude may not have all the answers but may appear to know all the answers.
(2021 note: I also adore Creedence. Fogerty is a god. My dad and uncles weened me on Creedence. I also used to like the Eagles. Now I skip the Eagles on Spotify).
Finally, the last philosophy of Dudeism is to eliminate the dull. Dress the way you want to, man. Destroy the cliche and the savor life. The dude is there for all — and may even try to save Anti-Dudes from the deep, black, putrid, smelly abyss of abjectness. Dudes have been known to sweep people away from boring conversations and dull pastimes. Dudes deal in the unusual.
And so the true dude, the follower of Dudeism, being the hard person they are, must strive to maintain the Code for Universal Dudeism and ignore the dull dudes and to detoxify the Anti-Dudes who give humans a bad name.
A dude must find peace within themselves. Not everyone can maintain such calmness of nature while also “doing one’s own thing, man.” There are different stages of accomplishment and enlightenment in Dudeism. But dudes do not judge — they only judge the Anti-Dudes because such people are truly dangerous.
After all, dear Coen Brothers, we all know “this aggression will not stand, man.” Thank you for your films. And your laughs!
Sincerely,
Walter T. Bowne — AKA — A Fellow Dude
