Satire
Oops, She Did it Again!
What’s wrong with Sanna Marin?
Prime Minister of Finland Sanna Marin is once again in hot water.
An online photo of two “topless” women kissing each other at her Helsinki residence last month caused an internet storm.
Herald Sun headlined the story: Finland Prime Minister Sanna Marin Apologizes for Topless Photo.
I thought, Oh that slut, she did it again!
The two females are popular influencers. Their boobs aren’t exposed, but that doesn’t improve the situation.
They dared to display the sign “Finland” (taken from Marin’s desk) across their titties like some deranged patriots.
Before this, it was a video of Marin singing, dancing, and swiveling her hips at a private party as someone in the background shouts “flour gang.”
‘Flour’ is a Finnish slang often used for cocaine. She proclaims she has never used drugs in her life.
Right.
Later that night, at 4 am, she danced hip-to-hip with a male pop star in a nightclub. She’s married, you guys. And a mother to a little child.
Her devoted husband’s waiting for her at home while she parties till the wee hours of the night.
There’s more.
Dailymail reported that witnesses saw her dancing with “three different men and then sat in the laps of two male companions” that night.
Marin says “nothing inappropriate” happened. So damn shameless!
The critics rightfully demanded that she take a drug test. It came out negative. Still, what was she thinking? She’s the leader of a nation!
Look at Prince Andrew.
He’s a prince and no video of him partying or shouting “cocaine” has ever surfaced online.
Yeah, there’s that time one time when he was accused of participating and doing sexual things with a minor. He was also photographed putting his hand around the minor’s waist.
But he settled the case out of court like a gentleman. In contrast, there’s Marin flaunting her night out without concern for Finland’s safety.
What if there was a national emergency? The “Party PM” does know that Ukraine is under siege right now, right?
Okay, okay, there are some things she’s doing right. For instance, her government’s handling of the Covid pandemic was superb.
They imposed a two-month lockdown two weeks earlier than other European countries, resulting in lower rates of Covid.
But wait. Did you know she partied during Covid?
Well, let me rephrase that.
Her superiors told Marin she could mingle because she was boosted. But they later changed their minds, but she never received that message. She didn’t take her work phone to the club.
For that, she apologized again.
It’s not like she’s a bad prime minister when it comes to policies she has implemented. Finland plans to be carbon-neutral and the first fossil-free welfare society by 2035.
But the issue is that she can’t keep her hands off other men. How are we supposed to take any of her accomplishments seriously?
She did improve Finland’s parental leave system for both moms and dads. But again she had the wrong intentions. I’m pretty sure she only did that to party more while her husband takes care of their 4-year-old.
There’s more. This woman can’t stop making headlines.
In 2020, she posed with a blazer with nothing underneath it and trousers for a Finnish lifestyle magazine. She was accused of being “tasteless and demeaning her office.”
Why can’t she be more like the other world leaders? For instance, like Putin, who posed bare-chested on horseback in 2017?
Unlike her, he doesn’t party like it’s 1999. Putin prioritizes his country by bombing another country so his people can reign supreme.
When will this woman put her country first, like former president Donald Trump? Have you seen the witch hunt taking place against him? By virtually every top government in the US?
The FBI invaded his Mar-a-Lago residence because he took over 700 classified documents home.
I don’t get what the big deal is. He took his work home. On the other hand, Marin’s getting hammered.
I don’t deny that Trump is a married man who likes to party. The difference is he has the common sense to do it in the privacy of his hotel bedroom.
And he did it by paying $130K to an adult film star so she won’t disclose their affair. That’s how generous he is.
Marin has a lot to learn from the likes of Donald Trump and former Australian politician Tony Abbott. He admitted to being drunk and incapacitated on the job in 2009.
Like a real prime minister, he didn’t apologize for it:
I was sober in the morning. But our country is still dealing with the debt and debt hangover of the former Labor government’s spending binge.”
He’s right. There are more pressing manners than passing out on a job. At least he wasn’t “wild” like Marin at some club.
We all know Marin’s a skank, but what scares me the most is that she’s following the footsteps of New York Democratic Representative Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez.
In 2019, a video surfaced on Twitter of Ocasio-Cortez dancing on a rooftop with her college friends. People were pissed off. Another young woman up to no good!
I sure hope Marin doesn’t dance on some rooftop with her drunken friends. She needs lessons on how to act like a politician.
Doesn’t look like it, though. Yesterday, she became all teary, and her eyes got all red, addressing a crowd:
I’m human, and I sometimes long for joy, life, and fun…But I’ve not missed a single day at work. I have not left a single task undone…
Poor little Marin — partying like a teenager high on drugs and then crying like a baby for getting exposed. She should have thought long and hard before becoming the head of a nation.
All she does is rant and rave. In 2020, Marin whined about sexism in politics in an interview with British Vogue.
But have you seen her coalition government? They’re formed by five party leaders — all women. Who’s sexist now?
Get your act together, girl. Stop drinking, dancing, and partying after work. Go home, cook, watch Netflix, read a book to your girl, and snuggle with your husband.
And for god sake, act like a prime minister — if you’re going to party, do it in a hotel room and stop apologizing like a guilty person.
Most importantly, be a role model for women, not a scandalous whore who can’t stop having fun.
Note: This is a satire
