One Day You’ll Be Thankful For Those Bumpy Roads
Only you know where the road leads to.
The thought that nothing is within our control can send us into a worrisome spiral. However, it's comforting to know that we do have control to some extent. The sooner we realize this, the better. Thoughts create expectations that let us know the best decision to make at any moment. Those decisions, in turn, influence our actions.
Sometimes I’m advised to let go of control, allowing life to take me on a roller coaster ride and to accept that I do not know what will happen next. But if I don’t believe I’m capable of producing or arriving anywhere near to the desired results I’m aiming for, I won’t even start. I mean, why even bother trying if you know you’ll not get there? Given such a scenario, I will abandon every effort to confront even the slightest challenge that arises.
It’s crucial then to have at least a certain amount of confidence about where I’m heading, be it tomorrow, a month, a year, or even longer. My motive is to begin every pursuit with the knowing that whatever it is that I’m after, and wherever it is I want to arrive, it will be a reality and that it’s possible.
The image I have conjured up in my head is mine exclusively. Even if I attempt to explain it, no one can truly see it the way I do. Our brains perceive information through a filter of personal experiences and preferences, so people will give many reasons why it’s not possible. That’s because they perceive they can’t do it and so they assume I shouldn’t be able to do so too. They will point out the gap between where I am and where I’m heading. Of course, they are not bad people. However, their good intentions tend to sabotage instead of support.
Everything remains an idea or a dream until we take it from the mental realm, breathe life into it, and put it out into the world. That’s when the intangible now becomes perceptible and visible to the world. This applies to everything regardless of what I’m creating, whether it’s a story I’m writing, a project I’m committed to, or realizing a future dream.
The current moment is not all there is
The path to your dream is lonely, or some call it the road less traveled. Seldom will there be applause or encouragement from others telling you’re doing a great job. There’s no constant assurance that you’re on the right track, none at all. Most days you’ll have to plow the ground through sweat and tears, all by yourself.
All we can see and acknowledge, and know for sure, is the way things are at the moment. We are living in the now. But what’s happening right now is nothing much. That’s why it’s incongruous to have a plan and an image of where I’m going, and then constantly refocusing my attention back to the now.
This moment is a work in progress, building stepping stones that will lead to the next destination. Keeping my eyes on the present slows everything down and causes me to see how tired and frustrated I am because things around me are not moving fast enough as they should, and therefore pulling me into anxiety and hopelessness.
There are days I need to remind myself to stop obsessing about the present because this is not where I intend to stay as it is a place, a moment I’m passing through on my way to the next destination. This is where I put one foot in front of the other, forming a foundation one layer on top of another knowing that over time, those layers become a path that leads me to the other side. The present moment is important, but it’s not permanent.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t enjoy the present moment, or that we should discard every piece of opinion or advice leading to the future, but constantly ruminating and analyzing everything distracts our focus.
When I look at where I am and notice the stark reality that I’m not making progress as I should, I get frustrated. Bumpy roads on my journey cause me to undermine my confidence, not realizing that as I progress, I will encounter many bumps. I need to accept that these are not indications that I’ve gotten off track but these are the path itself.
A bumpy road is not the end of a journey
Discounting my dreams because of a few rough bumps along the way or that I’m not moving as fast as I should is like abandoning my vehicle because of a flat tire. No, I need to fix the problem and get back on the road. That dream is alive in me long before it’s visible to the world before it makes its debut under the spotlight and glitter. I need to decide in advance that this mountain will be worth the climb and that it will be rewarding.
I have to walk this path with certainty that I will accomplish what I’ve set out to do, believing that regardless of setbacks, solutions are available and that I will find them. I must have faith and persistence to power through no matter what happens along the way. That will keep me moving forward, moment by moment, day after day.
There will be many bumps on the road of life. Some days, we’re going on nice and smooth, and suddenly we’ll hit a bump that causes us to lose our balance. That’s neither good nor bad, that’s just how life is.
During those times, when you look and notice no one is around to applaud your effort or to encourage you because they can’t see the end result the way you do, or their enthusiasm doesn’t match yours, be your own biggest fan. Be the one who’s always got your back. Be proud of yourself, letting your self-bias be positive, not negative.
No doubt it will be lonely at times, but you just have to push through. Or, the other option is to toss it all away, settle for a mediocre life and keep everyone else happy. The question is, can you bear to live with that?
Thank you for reading.
If you want to read more of my writings, you may check out the following articles.
- Giving Others the Freedom to Change
- The Moment I Realized I Had Fallen in Love
- If Life Feels Off, It’s Time to Hit Reset and Recalibrate
- You’re Codependent When You’re Addicted To Feeling Important
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