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Abstract

ego is stroked every time someone says they love The Muse. You’re a groupie whore now and inspire the masses. Money can’t buy that”.</p><p id="ff68">The Muse inspected her nails. “Yeah, I am great. And writing and sharing the stupid is fun. I love to make you look like a fuckwit and have people question your sanity.”</p><p id="e8de">“It’s always a pleasure sharing a brain with you, Muse. Who needs enemies when I have you to wear down my self-esteem?”</p><p id="57d7">“Let’s just get on with it. I want to visit the dreamland sometime tonight.”</p><p id="7b3f">The Muse snuck through the gates with a shiny sword in hand. Tannille followed at her heel. In the throne room, the dragon snoozed on all the missing loot. Snoring vibrated and gave off a bad stench.</p><p id="1b65">The Dragon wore a gold collar with a nametag: Tony.</p><p id="9fc1">The Muse gasped and backtracked.</p><p id="1e9b">“Oh, I’m not slaying that dragon. That’s biting the hand that feeds me.”</p><p id="b457">The Muse disappeared into thin air.</p><p id="d0fa">“Muse come back.”</p><p id="df30">“No way, crumbs are better than nothing. Go to bed, Tannille.”</p><p id="95a2">And just like that the fairy tale had a crappy ending. Bad story pacing. No one was maimed. Not even a stick up the arse. No sex to sell the story. No riches. The Medium plebs were still at the dragon’s mercy but the kingdom was renamed “Mudium”, or “Mud” for short after severe bonding between the plebs. At least they had each other. And bitchin' stories like this.</p><p id="fe61">And they all lived happily ever after.</p><h2 id="130b">Story Notes</h2><p id="d

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04f">This little crappy gem was written for <a href="undefined">Imothoughts</a>, as he requested for The Muse to come out and play in the Medium Castle.</p><p id="cd86">For future readers: Writers’ September earnings dropped ridiculously after generous changes were introduced in August. This story is poking fun at our circumstances.</p><p id="39e2">And for the love of the universe, no one slays Tony, ok? We are better than that… really…</p><div id="4f6a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/once-upon-a-time-a-medium-fairy-tale-fad3e6f8e98d"> <div> <div> <h2>Once upon a time: A Medium Fairy Tale</h2> <div><h3>How we ended up where we are today</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*KjTKsfaAG6xC9U1U)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="1648" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/read-or-die-publication-rules-c84757ff97e6"> <div> <div> <h2>Read or Die! — Publication Rules</h2> <div><h3>Updated August 2023 Guidelines</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*1cWjoYejSw_r2BAH3_p40A.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Once Upon a Time at Medium Castle

The Curse of September and the Missing Loot (Satire for Plebs)

Dare to enter Medium Castle? Harry Potter eat your heart out. Photo by Derek Story on Unsplash

Once upon a time,

Tannille and The Muse were contemplating getting ready for bed after a cruel day. The Medium dragon slayed their earnings to about $1 for the day. Their last masterpiece was robbed, with only $0.39 left behind… crumbs. We’re worth more than this shit.

The wizard Imothoughts challenged The Muse to come out and play before the realm was blanketed by depression. The Medium plebs were hit hard during the later part of September by the dragon’s looting. He needed help controlling morale. Mission accepted. The dragon must be slaughtered.

The Muse stood with Tannille outside Medium Castle. The enormous structure was made from the finest coins in all the land.

“So, now what?”

“Fucked if I know, it’s you he challenged. I’m just the scribe,” said Tannille thinking about sheets and brushing teeth.

“I’d have more motivation if we were being paid decently.”

“Bull shit. Return to your roots. Your ego is stroked every time someone says they love The Muse. You’re a groupie whore now and inspire the masses. Money can’t buy that”.

The Muse inspected her nails. “Yeah, I am great. And writing and sharing the stupid is fun. I love to make you look like a fuckwit and have people question your sanity.”

“It’s always a pleasure sharing a brain with you, Muse. Who needs enemies when I have you to wear down my self-esteem?”

“Let’s just get on with it. I want to visit the dreamland sometime tonight.”

The Muse snuck through the gates with a shiny sword in hand. Tannille followed at her heel. In the throne room, the dragon snoozed on all the missing loot. Snoring vibrated and gave off a bad stench.

The Dragon wore a gold collar with a nametag: Tony.

The Muse gasped and backtracked.

“Oh, I’m not slaying that dragon. That’s biting the hand that feeds me.”

The Muse disappeared into thin air.

“Muse come back.”

“No way, crumbs are better than nothing. Go to bed, Tannille.”

And just like that the fairy tale had a crappy ending. Bad story pacing. No one was maimed. Not even a stick up the arse. No sex to sell the story. No riches. The Medium plebs were still at the dragon’s mercy but the kingdom was renamed “Mudium”, or “Mud” for short after severe bonding between the plebs. At least they had each other. And bitchin' stories like this.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Story Notes

This little crappy gem was written for Imothoughts, as he requested for The Muse to come out and play in the Medium Castle.

For future readers: Writers’ September earnings dropped ridiculously after generous changes were introduced in August. This story is poking fun at our circumstances.

And for the love of the universe, no one slays Tony, ok? We are better than that… really…