CORE Psychology

On Grief and Hope

The Therapeutics of Poetry

The wailing sound of grief black like a hole in the dark ground and the difficulty of climbing out while carrying the weight of pain and loss and aloneness

I too was lost in loss I too wanted to wail I too saw darkness for far too long

And now

I hold my hand as I held yours and let the light of my two eyes find the cracks in my broken heart letting the seeds of healing rise into the light into life my life

My client has been dealing with the death of her brother when she was 9 years old. Around the same time she experienced sexual abuse by a stranger of which no one knew about. The people around her told her she had to take care of her parents in their grief. Her parents were not available to help her.

Even at her school there was a memorial for her brother in his grade but she was not even told about it. It was for his classmates not for her. There was no room for her grief and pain and suffering. Her pain became invisible and supressed until in adulthood when her body collapsed.

After a few months of treatment she was back to work and had re-engaged in most of her life but continued to experience anxiety and dissociation. She feared collapsing again unless she dealt with her history but she also felt frozen when we looked at it. Progress was slow.

In our healing work, I wrote this poem for her by taking (mostly her) words and phrases from our conversations. I read it to her and gave her a copy. She has read it everyday since and noted that the poem made her feel seen for the first time. She was able to disclose the child sexual abuse for the first time after this poem.

Her healing journey is ongoing but poetry can be such a powerful catalyst for change. It is, as I have said before, the gold infused enamel that mends the cracks of our shattered lives.

This poem and work means even more to me today as I process my own grief and loss in the recent passing of my father.

I wrote about the strategy to activate poetry in the clients own words here:

and wrote about the Poetry as a powerful force for change in a few articles such as Poetic Invitations and Poetry is Sorcery. I also wrote a poem about this: