On Aging

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Abstract

ally and it involved a bar afterwards. I was of the opinion that women should do nothing with their God given powers to slow their aging process . That they should instead crack and leather like good witches, wearing their sunspots like the noble, legitimate goddesses before them. Yeah, I was that 20 year old.</p><p id="1998">Then my 30s came. I was newly married and we moved from the east coast to the west coast where there is a botox shop on every corner and an array of lasers that can tighten every nook and cranny. I laughed, and mocked with a British accent, “how silly all this artifice is, how trite.” But <i>then</i> I got my first sun spot, as you do, because the Southern California sun is a raging hell ball that spares no one its wrath. I began researching potions and lotions for discoloration. I bought mineral based foundations. The more I stared at my sunspots, the more I noticed how huge my pores are. (Truly, you could drive a truck through some of them.) And with notice of the pores came discovery of the wrinkles, the sags and the lines. Were my lips getting thinner too!? Oh, whew, there’s a product for that.</p><p id="a5e0">And now in my forties, well…I’ve painted the picture. It’s a an endless labor, but I’m not going down without a fight. There are plenty who fight harder than I do. Still others who struggle much less. I am not here to tell anyone they are right or wrong for their efforts or lack thereof. Aging and the ensuing end that aging implies is hard for all of us. Why complicate it further with our harsh opinions?</p><p id="6454">We are constantly shaming ourselves, for shaming ourselves for aging. If we applaud those who go about it completely “naturally”…no needles, no hair dyes, no knives, then we likely shame the ones who opt for botox or chin lifts or hair extensions. If we are fast and loose with surgeries, pills and lasers, we shame the ones who could “at least slap on some moisturizer and lip tint for God’s sake.” There are those who declare that injections or expensive face creams are okay, but surgery and injections cross a line. We make ourselves wrong no matter what we do. Too often when we are confronted with issues that expose our humanity, rather than unifying we divide, all in the name of deeming ourselves right and others wrong.</

Options

p><p id="e1a9">I am not above reproach. I am part of the problem. Even after writing this I will pass someone on the street: a man with obvious hair transplants or a woman with her face pinched a little too tight and I will think: Hmph. You are doing it wrong. Despite my own hypocrisy and obvious projecting, I think it would benefit us all to support each other through our aging process rather than shaming and judging each other our chosen paths. While I cannot promise to be perfect, I can promise to try harder. And I can admit where I fail and stamp it in writing to keep myself accountable and aware. May we all age gracefully in our own ways, may we all forgive ourselves and forgive each other for getting old in the first place.</p><h1 id="aa07">Be Open Says;</h1><p id="819f"><b>Writers! Let’s be open!</b></p><div id="996f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/be-open-submission-guidelines-41ea51ef4ef1"> <div> <div> <h2>We Invite You to Become Our Writer — Be Open Submission Guidelines</h2> <div><h3>You don’t have to be a great writer or super perfect human to contribute here. I believe everyone can become inspirator…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*eBrTZS3wC0WwzBZjivi7tg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="27f7"><b>Writers should take this!</b></p><div id="cdca" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/medium-writers-be-open-challenges-you-to-create-be-open-more-about-me-3a39e7aadc6c"> <div> <div> <h2>Medium Writers! Be Open Challenges you to create Be Open (More About Me)!</h2> <div><h3>Readers love you as you are! Submitting and your writer’s bio and pinned it is highly recommended.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*-g0I5o0ZUCF2dnH2v8HC0Q.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Not so gracefully

I am writing to you between the intervals of my nightly routine. As soon as I washed my face (phase 1), I settled in with my laptop to write. I have a few minutes to “let your face dry completely”, then I move to the pads (phase 2). I have a few kinds of these. One is to help “brighten discoloration”, another to “minimize pores” and still a third that promises to “balance and soothe”. I rotate them, you know, just in case. I wouldn’t want to miss out on some anti-aging benefits made so readily available to me. Phase 4 is the eye cream that ensures to “reduce dark circles and fine lines.” The next phase (phase 5) is one of several serums that are supposed to “ correct discoloration” or “rehydrate skin” or “provide powerful antioxidant nourishment” to my over 40 skin. After the serum, then the moisturizer (phase 6). I’ll skip describing the three of those I rotate between because I’m guessing you’re getting the picture. If it sounds redundant at points, it is. But a little extra surely can’t hurt, can it? I’ll also spare you the list of supplements that follow the facial regime.

This is my armor. I am ready to battle aging while I sleep.

I know what you are thinking: ain’t nobody got time for that. Mark my words: you will surprise yourself someday. The 20-something version of me would have never believed it. By now it has become a mindless ritual. I dare not skip it however, lest one more fine line set in around the corners of my eyes.

Funny how I formed opinions about aging long before I started aging in any observable way. It started in my 20s with judging which actresses were aging “naturally,” as they should and which had obviously had some work done. I shunned hair dye and spa treatments. I marched in feminist rallies declaring makeup was invented by the patriarchy! Well, okay, I didn’t really march, but I probably would have if someone had asked me to a rally and it involved a bar afterwards. I was of the opinion that women should do nothing with their God given powers to slow their aging process . That they should instead crack and leather like good witches, wearing their sunspots like the noble, legitimate goddesses before them. Yeah, I was that 20 year old.

Then my 30s came. I was newly married and we moved from the east coast to the west coast where there is a botox shop on every corner and an array of lasers that can tighten every nook and cranny. I laughed, and mocked with a British accent, “how silly all this artifice is, how trite.” But then I got my first sun spot, as you do, because the Southern California sun is a raging hell ball that spares no one its wrath. I began researching potions and lotions for discoloration. I bought mineral based foundations. The more I stared at my sunspots, the more I noticed how huge my pores are. (Truly, you could drive a truck through some of them.) And with notice of the pores came discovery of the wrinkles, the sags and the lines. Were my lips getting thinner too!? Oh, whew, there’s a product for that.

And now in my forties, well…I’ve painted the picture. It’s a an endless labor, but I’m not going down without a fight. There are plenty who fight harder than I do. Still others who struggle much less. I am not here to tell anyone they are right or wrong for their efforts or lack thereof. Aging and the ensuing end that aging implies is hard for all of us. Why complicate it further with our harsh opinions?

We are constantly shaming ourselves, for shaming ourselves for aging. If we applaud those who go about it completely “naturally”…no needles, no hair dyes, no knives, then we likely shame the ones who opt for botox or chin lifts or hair extensions. If we are fast and loose with surgeries, pills and lasers, we shame the ones who could “at least slap on some moisturizer and lip tint for God’s sake.” There are those who declare that injections or expensive face creams are okay, but surgery and injections cross a line. We make ourselves wrong no matter what we do. Too often when we are confronted with issues that expose our humanity, rather than unifying we divide, all in the name of deeming ourselves right and others wrong.

I am not above reproach. I am part of the problem. Even after writing this I will pass someone on the street: a man with obvious hair transplants or a woman with her face pinched a little too tight and I will think: Hmph. You are doing it wrong. Despite my own hypocrisy and obvious projecting, I think it would benefit us all to support each other through our aging process rather than shaming and judging each other our chosen paths. While I cannot promise to be perfect, I can promise to try harder. And I can admit where I fail and stamp it in writing to keep myself accountable and aware. May we all age gracefully in our own ways, may we all forgive ourselves and forgive each other for getting old in the first place.