THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, PLEASE, BE GENTLE

Oh, the Places Your Ass’ll Go!

It was not artsy but rather a bit fartsy

Congratulations to you! Today you took a picture of your ass!

You figured the whole wide world deserved to know just how amazing your behind is. After all, a hot woman on the internet you are.

However, you were dismayed to find out it was not a great sight. It was not artsy but rather a bit fartsy. Some would argue that, for an ass, it was rather basic.

But you have brains in your head. You have a computer and editing software at hand. You can make the best of it now. Even greater than that, you can cheat and make it look as if your ass had been to places it had never visited in the past!

First, you made your ass float around in the sky. You placed fluffy colorful clouds all around, and it felt like fun until you realized people might think they were a collection of your flatulences.

Don’t you know? Hot women don’t fart!

So you got your ass away from those clouds and took it somewhere else, somewhere fresh, somewhere blossomy and fun.

That’s how to the jungle your ass went.

It was humid and hot, the air stuffy and full of insects that sucked in your blood. Yes, it was all mighty pretty, but you wanted a less sizzling quest.

You had your fun and pranced around, but to a different place your ass chose to go.

Next, your ass landed on a fantasy land. There were mighty warriors and magic all around. You admired their beauty and the pointy ears they liked to show off.

But there was a war, and arrows flew all over the place. You couldn’t risk getting your ass punctured in this mess.

Your ass then made a different choice of location. To sunny LA it went, in hopes of meddling around, thinking fame it could find.

There were already plenty of famous asses all over town. However, through hard work and a few social media hacks, its 15 minutes of fame your ass got.

There were reporters wanting to know everything about your cheeks. They wanted to get a picture from every angle and asked about your workout routine.

Your ass got tired of it all and a hiding place it sought out.

Your ass found itself in an abandoned house. It stayed there for a couple of hours while the paparazzi got bored outside.

Once the camera flashes went away, your ass realized it really enjoyed the fame and the renown. It ran across the street to get back to its fans and to enjoy all the noise.

Alas, your ass was sloppy when going across the street and ended up being run over and dying right there on the road.

Your ass perished quickly and with no pain, only to wake up in hell.

Damn, your ass looked hot down there!

“Oh, why, why am I in this mess?” your ass kept screaming into the flames.

A demon nearby heard those cries and quickly replied, “All asses end up down here, you silly piece of meat!”

Your ass thought it was unfair to be sent to Hades’ place just because it was trying to be itself. So it went back to your computer, and more editing magic occurred.

In a matter of seconds, in a better place your ass was photoshopped.

Now your ass has wings and a matching halo to make it look cute. It’s on its merry way to heaven to be happy and bounce more.

And when you get bored, you can always choose a picture of a different place. If you want it, your ass can move mountains, no matter the name.

So today is your day, your ass is waiting. Let it be on its way!

You want more? If you really, really need more of me, you can find it here.

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