Of Mice, Men and Women — Who Is The Smartest?
“I know I am not that smart, but how dare you compare me to a rodent!”
“Whenever you fight with Chris, you come in here, looking frustrated. Dressing as if you didn’t look in the mirror before leaving your house and picking a fight with everyone,” Orella argued with Karoya as she pulled out the empty chair to her right.
Lacey questioned, resting her menu to the left, “what did he do this time?”
Sitting down, huffing and puffing with no house to blow down, Orella states, “that bum is married? Isn’t he?”
Karoya’s head instantly turned to her right, glared at her, and then said, “Will that make you happy?”
“I think he is married,” Ben, the only male in the group agrees.
“What made you think that?” Karoya questioned in defense.
“I agree too,” Orella adds before she can respond. “He only visits you at night. Parks his car three blocks away and walks. Watches the clock when he visits and never spends the night.”
“And that tells you he is married?” Karoya defends.
“He turns his phone off when he is with you and us,” Ben reminds her. “Plus, he chooses dark restaurants to eat in when it’s your turn to choose where we eat, and always pay in cash.”
“That doesn’t mean he is married,” Karoya stood her ground.
Sighing, Ben said, “I have a mouse living in my house. I buy glue traps. Mice loves corners. He knows they are there, so he avoids the corners. I changed locations. He changes too. I am on my third different mouse trap and none of them catches him. It’s like he knows my every move. I mixed the rat poison with chicken, cheese and more delicious foods. He doesn’t eat any of them.”
“What is keeping him alive?” Lacey asked giggling.
“Probably the thought of knowing he is making a fool out of me,” Ben said in frustration. “It’s been three weeks. The last time I saw him, I demand that if he intends to stay, I will charge him rent.”
All three females laugh, and then Orella says, “So your mouse is smarter than Karoya.”
Lacey and Karoya’s eyes swayed to her, and Ben added, “That’s the moral of my story. If that tiny rodent can detect my every move, avoids the traps I set and doesn’t eat the poison, what, you need Chris’s marriage certificate to prove he is cheating on his wife with you?”
Karoya, sighed deeply grabbing several breaths, then released, “I know I am not that smart, but how dare you compare me to a rodent! You are cruel!” she bolted up.
Ben pulled her back down from the right and Orella from the left, then Ben said, “who the hell told you that life was kind? Like that darn mouse we have to be aware and alert of life, living, people, our surroundings and everything else life decides to terrorize us with!”
“And if that mouse wasn’t aware of what Ben is doing, he would be caught in the first trap Ben set for him,” Lacy adds.
“And I would save my money on the other two expensive ones that don’t work,” Ben said.
“He said he is single and lives with his demanding mother and I believe him,” she revealed.
“You think that mouse would have believe him?” Orella asked, eyeing her while nodding.
“I wasn’t aware of the things he is doing,” she admits.
“How can you not be aware?” Lacey asked. “You shared your body and a bed with him.”
“You are right,” she agrees. “I can’t believe that darn mouse outsmarted Ben the genius!”
Suddenly a beautiful, young athletic-looking female, attired in a pink and grey yoga outfit as if she was coming from the gym, strolled towards their table, flashing a huge diamond wedding band, asking as she arrived close enough, “who is Karoya Sanders?”
Three pairs of eyes moved to Karoya without turning their heads.
She signaled someone who walked into the restaurant with two suitcases that were slashed. Red ink or paint smeared the outside of the suitcases and in the cuts on clothes that were hanging out.
She indicated to put them beside Karoya’s chair saying, “He is yours now. And he will cheat on you, as he cheated on me and his other two wives before me!”
She walked away as if she was on the runway in Paris.
Silence explained everything and Karoya said, “Damn, that pea brained mouse is smarter than Ben and me!”
“That darn mouse is not smarter than me,” Ben defends his ability.
“You haven’t caught him yet!” Karoya reminds him.
“I agree,” the others said.
“I was able to detect his routes and moves,” Ben declared.
“True,” Orella and Lacey agreed, again.
“So, a mouse is smarter than me?” Karoya asked.
“Yes,” all three of them shout laughing.
This piece was inspired by the Strug and my husband's inability to catch a tiny mouse. Sorry guys, but it’s too funny not to write about.
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