Not One Person Who Voted For Joe Biden Still Stands Behind Their Decision
Just ask the experts
NOTE: You don’t have to dig deep in the weeds to find people who answer political questions a little like this. I took one answer from Quora, headed over to the Washington Times and fell into a deep enough rabbit hole that I should be ready for right wing talk radio.
I can tell you with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that not one single American, not one of those 81,268,924 still unverified voters who voted for him support him now.
Not after his latest unforgivable sin. (Which one was it, by the way? I can’t keep track of them all.)
Not even all those dead people who voted for Biden still support him, and I can promise you that, because I have it on good authority from that psychic* who lives in a trailer near the industrial park that they are all sick and tired of his outrageous power grabs.
How dare this man:
- Take away my freedom to be infected and die from the greatest pandemic in a hundred years? The psychic said all those dead people wish they could have gotten COVID and been famous instead of dying from boring causes like drunk drivers, lunatics with guns, drug companies pushing pain meds on you like candy, unnecessary and illegal wars, toxic chemicals in our water and air, and stuff like that.
- Allow any people whose skin color or religion I don’t like to enter this great land by legal means? He needs to walk into Congress and make them pass some laws to protect us God fearin’ law abidin’ citizens.
- Not invade Iraq again and steal their oil? Prices need to go down. Never mind all that mumbo jumbo about supply and demand. We all know that oil prices are determined by the president (at least when a Demoncrat is in office). We’ve had two generations of Bushes not taking that bird in the hand and I’m sick of it. All of those guys in the Bush-Cheney administration promised that the war would pay for itself and I’m still waiting for them to make good on it. I want my gas for $1.94 a gallon like they do in Iraq. All we have to do is steal their oil like we were supposed to.
- Try to rebuild the infrastructure in this country. We are missing out on a gold mine of opportunity here as badly decaying bridges could be turned into amusement rides at theme parks. Just think of the thrill of driving over dilapidated bridges while your car is attached to a giant bungee cord! Imagine the thrills your family could enjoy every time you have to go across town to shop at that WalMart superstore!
- Creepy Old Joe is killing economic opportunity in this country. His decision to rejoin the Paris climate accord could kill my underground bunker business. I’ve got these babies equipped with oxygen and water recycling systems so a family can live like kings for as long as it takes for the earth to regenerate its resources. (Buy a bunker today and get a lifetime’s supply of Spam thrown in!) It’s just one more way that Biden is trying to force his socialist agenda (clean air and water for everyone? even those who don’t pay?) down our throats.
- Waste trillions of dollars on crazy plans. Why just the other day I was reading in the Washington Times that he is going to spend $3.5 trillion on liberal pipedreams. First of all, as the president of all Americans, shouldn’t he spend just as much on conservative pipedreams? But second, why do we need all this extra plumbing?
In conclusion, no one supports Joe Biden, not anyone. Newt told me so.
More political satire…
FOOTNOTES
*Forgive me, I’m not creative enough (or bat-shit crazy enough) to come up with Jewish space lasers, Clinton child pornography or Trumpist internment camps.