Not Getting Laid? The 3 Ways Men Cope These Days.

Dating is not easy nowadays. Especially for young men.

In recent years, some ideologies of men regarding the dating game and female nature have emerged on the Internet and found many followers. These groups include among others so-called incels (involuntary celibates) and men’s rights activists. In my opinion, these online communities can be quite harmful to young men looking for answers to their failures with girls.

Therefore, in this article, I would like to present and critically question these ideologies. Most men who join one of these ideologies probably do so because they either have problems attracting women or had to go through traumatic experiences, such as heartbreak.

With 3 different pills, young men deal with their dating problems. Copium, so to speak.

The Red Pill

Where does the name of this movement come from?

The terms “red pill” and “blue pill” refer to a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in contented ignorance with the blue pill. The terms refer to a scene in the 1999 film The Matrix. — Wikipedia

Supporters of the Red Pill movement believe they have discovered inconvenient truths about women that give them a competitive advantage over those who do not know.

In the Red Pill community, the so-called Alpha Male is seen as the ideal. The dominant, self-confident, physically strong, and successful man.

Looks, money, and status are what matter when you want to get women, according to the Red Pill movement.

However, some tend to have a more extreme view.

Many Red Pill gurus almost tend to hate women and seem to be traumatized. If you believe them, all women are hoes and you should only sleep with them as long-term relationships won’t work anyway. Preferably with as many as possible. “Spinning plates” is a common expression in the scene.

The Blue Pill

The Blue Pill is not a separate movement as far as I know. If you will, blue-pilled men are blue-pilled without knowing it, as it is a made-up group of men by the Red Pill movement.

Red Pill followers call these men blue-pilled: Men who believe in the societal ideal of unconditional love between man and woman, the construct of soulmates, and in being nice as the best strategy to get women. These men are also often referred to as nice guys or simps.

According to an urban dictionary definition, this is a simp:

It is when a male is overly submissive to a female and gains nothing from it. So overly submissive that other guys cringe and feel ashamed when seeing them. This applies to males in relationships when they are so submissive that they say literally anything to be in favor of the female.

The Black Pill

As the name suggests, the Black Pill is a very dark ideology. It seems that it is spread mainly by young men who have not necessarily won the genetic lottery. Their message is really depressing. It could be summarized roughly as follows:

All that matters when it comes to getting women is looks. Your genes determine everything. If you have bad genes, you have already lost.

Good-looking men, called “Chads” in this community, are envied and adored at the same time, while their own less-than-perfect appearance is seen as a reason to give up.

The 3 different ways of coping with dating struggles

These ideologies are all about coping, I guess. Why would someone who is doing well in dating seek refuge in such Internet communities?

Here are the individual coping strategies in a nutshell:

• Red Pill: I just need to become a millionaire and get jacked in the gym, so I will be able to hook up with all the hoes.
• Blue Pill: I just have to be nicer. Then she will fall in love with me, and we will live happily ever after. Let me buy her another drink and offer to drive her home later.
• Black Pill: Fuck this. Dating is hopeless. We would have to change society for me to get laid. It is all about genetics.

My opinion- F*ck your Pills

I honestly cannot agree with any of these ideologies. I can also only advise against diving too deeply into one of these ideologies.

It is best not to take any of these pills.

My take on the red pill:

I think the Red Pill provides some very important insights. It takes biological laws of human nature into account that seem to be ignored by blue-pilled men. Evolutionary psychologists confirm some of the assumptions of the Red Pill, such as these:

• Being nice and always trying to please a woman is not the answer. Being a pushover is unattractive and makes you seem desperate.
• Resources are important. Women tend to prefer men with a higher socioeconomic status.
• Generally speaking, women are looking for the best possible man with whom they can procreate.
• Being a leader and being able to stand up for yourself and your family are necessary traits to raise and feed children. Most men who are too nice show women that they lack these traits.

However, I think that the wrong conclusions are often drawn by the Red Pill and too many generalizations are made. For example:

• “All women are hoes”
• “Women are gold diggers”
• “They will cheat on you anyway”

I can’t imagine that this ideology makes you happy either. A good, meaningful long-term relationship with a woman you can start a family with is much more fulfilling than sleeping with as many random girls as possible, I guess.

Instead of judging women for their nature, you should embrace it and use your knowledge of it to build the best relationship possible. To do this, it is useful to understand what purpose these preferences serve from a scientific point of view.

The evolutionary explanation for female to male attraction

All natural tendencies of women make evolutionary sense. So why should women be blamed for this? It is simply nature.

Evolutionary psychologists assume that our preferences in mate choice serve one goal: to pass on our genes. In the best case, this means that our children also have a good chance of surviving and having children, who in turn can survive and reproduce as well. Certain physical and character traits are markers for being a suitable partner with which to fulfill this goal.

• Symmetry and a somewhat athletic body are the most reliable markers of health. The search for the best possible partner has the same effect.
• Resources offer security and thus also maximize the offspring’s chances of survival. Dominance and physical strength protect against enemies.

Finding these characteristics attractive as a woman optimizes the chances of survival for potential offspring. Especially in the past, these things were crucial, which is why women’s natural preferences are the way they are. It all comes down to natural selection. Sexual selection is a part of that.

The Ape That Understood The Universe by Steve Stewart-Williams is a fantastic book on this subject. Here is a quote on this topic:

Genes are selected to the extent that they propagate themselves in the gene pool. Often, they do this by helping their owners to survive and reproduce, or by helping their owner’s kin to survive and reproduce. […]adaptions are designed to pass on the genes giving rise to them. And human beings, along with all the other organisms are gene machines.

Shit. Does this mean that the black pill is right? It almost sounds like it. Is it really all about our looks, which are determined by our genes?

Let me explain why it’s not:

• Character traits are also genetically determined. Just because something is genetic doesn’t mean it’s all about looks.
• Genes are basically only potential for certain characteristics. For the choice of a partner, however, it is the actually expressed characteristics and not the genes per se that are decisive. You can have the most beautiful parents in the world, the best genes in the world, but still be ugly. If you only eat fast food, drink a lot of alcohol, and neglect hygiene, you will probably not be very attractive despite your incredible genes. You will probably be overweight so that the great facial features of your father will not appear, although you have the genetic potential to have them. On the other hand, a genetically less fortunate man can gain a low body fat percentage and an aesthetic body by training hard, which makes him quite attractive.

To be fair, some traits, such as height or eye color, are determined by genes alone. Nevertheless, the following can be stated:

Genes only define your potential. Whether you exploit it or not depends on your lifestyle.

What about the blue pill?

It might be a romantic notion that you just have to be nice to conquer your princess, who will then love you unconditionally for the rest of your life. Even if this idea is presented to us again and again in Disney films, it’s unfortunately simply not realistic.

Of course, you should be nice. I don’t tell you to be an asshole. Please treat women well and be genuinely nice. But getting into their bed with fake kindness, as many men try to do, is rather hopeless.

Especially on social networks, you can see this phenomenon time and time again: every pretty girl is showered with compliments from thirsty men in the comment section. Always amusing. If I may tell you a secret: she knows she is pretty. Being the fiftieth man to tell her today will not make you very attractive. In fact, it will probably have the opposite effect.

I also find the idea of unconditional love questionable when it comes to a partner. With children and pets, of course, it’s something else. After all, physical attraction plays a big role in falling in love. If I were to stop exercising now, gain 20 kg and just lie on the couch, I could completely understand if my girlfriend didn’t want to be with me anymore. After all, I am far from being the one she fell in love with.

The black pill:

I think it is very dangerous to spread the black pill ideology. Of course, you can’t deny that some guys have a better genetic predisposition than others. Nor that this is a great advantage. To claim that this is everything and that less handsome men should give up on dating is irresponsible. Believing that must be incredibly depressing.

In my opinion, it is obvious that everyone, regardless of their genes, can firstly improve their appearance, for example by losing weight or building muscles. Secondly, it is silly to claim that everything else does not matter.

Obviously, appearance is not everything.

Thanks for reading!

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