TWIN FLAME | SOUL MERGE | ACTIVATION | LOVE

Not A Love Story: Finally Meeting the ONE and Letting Him Go

The one that got away…and will hopefully return to me someday.

Sadly, I now know the truth in that saying, if you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it is meant to be — and if they don’t, the love was never mine to begin with.

This is not a love story, but I hope that one day, it will have a happy ending.

I have always dreamt of that magical love, the fairytale meeting and happily ever after, as I am sure everyone has at one time or another.

Finding the ONE, or rather, he finding me. That one other human on earth that just understands me, the real me, without even needing to speak words. The one whom loves me unconditionally and wants to take care of me, whom I feel safe and secure with, supported and free to authentically be myself and explore and grow all of the parts of me and each other. The ultimate partner to complement and enhance our lives.

As far back as I can remember, I have always searched the eyes of every man I would meet. Sensing that I would just know when I met him. Looking for that recognition, that feeling of home and familiar comfort, only to never find that other soul, looking back, into the depths of me.

In all of those eyes, in all of my years, never finding him, yet finding so many alternatives that never quite fit, I finally accepted that he was just a fantasy. A childish idea that was driven by books, movies, songs, society, and man-made concepts of what love and relationships should look like. That dreaming of the elusive ONE was unhealthy and unrealistic; adults are practical, logical.

If I wanted a partner, it was time to grow up and get my head out of the clouds.

And eventually, I did just that. I gave up on the idea that he exists. As time and life went on, and the many bad relationships commenced, I stuffed that concept of my one, way down inside me. I grew more closed off with each heartbreak, more cynical of love, untrusting of men and relationships.

I shut off my heart and accepted that there wasn’t the one for me, as that wasn’t a “real” idea. And after many failed relationships, finally, at age 35, the universe gave me a soulmate, and we soon after had a daughter and married, at the age of 37 — in that order.

It was comfortable and practical. Not a fairytale. Not magic. Not passionate. But our partnership is real and supportive. And we made a human being and a nice life together, content and cordial, with little stress …and a decade passed.

Until that fated final day in August. There he was, my lifeforce, my huckleberry love. After all of those years of looking for him in the eyes of strangers, he was finally looking back at me, in a moment I would least expect it.

Not even believing my own eyes, a slice of time that I would later learn to have so much spiritual significance and undoubtingly divine planning that it was clear that our souls had worked over our lifetimes to bring us together in that monumental moment.

I had wished for him my entire life, dreamt of him, felt him inside and alongside me, silently supporting me until I finally lost sight of him. And then, as if a cruel and wonderful joke, I finally meet him physically, on this planet — in this lifetime. When I was absolutely not looking and had completely forgotten.

Every love song and sappy rom-com meet-cute colliding into my reality the moment I fell into his eyes. At times, I had to pull myself away from his eyes quickly, like I was getting burned by the intensity of the feeling. While other times, I was so magnetically drawn into him, it was like I was falling into a timeless abyss.

One moment, I can recall, looking over at him, and he was like 10 feet away. I can still see him and his eyes, sparkling in the dusk, looking back at me, piercing into my being from what seemed like miles away. He came right over to me, like he had read my thoughts and knew that I wanted him to be near me, without having to say any words.

That wasn’t the first time, or last, that he looked into my eyes during our fated encounter. Just a moment that I can’t help but replay in my mind over and over.

How could meeting someone for the first time feel like a familiar homecoming with someone you have known your entire existence? It felt like I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling without him having to speak a word. We were a complete vibe, unlike I have ever felt with any other human.

We have the same physical characteristics and sense of humor. Our eyes and smiles even look the same. It was like looking at myself and hearing myself but in another body. We even dressed the same, and there were other amazing coincidences that were just too perfect. Like he had an aqua color cooler that matched my aqua color suitcase! Both being unique and not usual colors for those everyday items.

We met on vacation. He was with a group of guys, co-workers/friends and I was with a couple of my girlfriends. My best friend’s husband was one of the men that my one was with on this trip, and we were all visiting a state that none of us lived in.

Those hours spent with him were the best, most fun few hours, seemingly, of my life. It just felt so natural and fun. We could have spent all night together if the circumstances allowed, but the universe abruptly ended our time together that late summer night, and I was left standing on that volcano as he disappeared into the cold dark woods.

My head spun in confusion, and I didn’t sleep at all that night. I tossed and turned in bed in my cabin, thinking of him out there in his sleeping bag and tent, in the cold. My mind couldn’t shake the many thoughts of him, unexplainable, obsessive, and magical thoughts that didn’t make any sense for me to feel.

…especially about a man that is half my age. That couldn’t possibly be ready for me, now. With his entire life still ahead of him. Yet, I can’t imagine how he could go on living his life without me, now that we found each other.

And while I could clearly see him, and felt that he also clearly saw me, it was also clear that this divine meeting would not be the happily ever after I have been waiting my entire life for. I wasn’t looking for or asking God for this meeting. I was happy and content in my marriage and accepted the life I was making.

But the universe had other plans and decided that it was finally time for my one to show up, and shake my life upside down.

Just as quickly as he had come into my life, he was gone. We only had the last night of our vacation together, after meeting very briefly 4 days prior and parting ways. The last time I saw him in person, he and my friends dropped me off at the airport. He didn’t even get out of the car to hug me goodbye.

This is not a love story, and it doesn’t quite end there. I realized later, which is for another story, that this is a twin flame journey. And while this story is indeed filled with SO much love, the bonus material includes immense heartbreak, soul-crushing pain, growth, self-discovery, life-questioning darkness, and spiritual upgrades — all of which I know now is a gift that I am grateful for.

Meeting him felt like a sucker punch from the universe of a dream come true, and now, I am left with the haunting memories of those few magical moments we shared that has forever changed my life. I have had no choice but to let my love go and surrender to trusting in our divine plan and timing. I just know in my soul that our story is not over, but is just beginning.

Please check out the continuation of this story in my memoir, Ego Death & Living on Earth as a Twin Soul. You can read Part 1: What Am I Learning? now!

Thank you for your time and allowing me to share my writing. I look forward to continuing this journey with you.

Love & Light, Gem ♊✨