No, You Cannot Be Happier in The Future
Here is why you need to rethink about your happiness.
Let’s start with two real-life examples. Two different persons yet the same story of unhappiness.
Both of them are my friends. One is a young entrepreneur running multiple businesses very successfully, and the other is a poor guy struggling to meet his daily needs.
Alex (alias) who is running multiple businesses with hundreds of employees barely finds time for himself and his family. He remains busy all day long, works longer hour, and comes home late at night. A lot of business-related responsibilities are on his shoulder. Lots of meetings, stakeholders, investors, and more. Consequently, he fails to have a sound sleep.
The worst part is — on his voyage to have a great business, he has already lost the touch with his family. Nobody waits for him at the dinner table. Every night, he eats alone and then struggles in bed with no sleep.
He told me that he is not finding happiness. But he added, “If my business remains the same for just six more months, I will earn huge, and there will be no looking back.”
My other friend, Ron (alias) was forced to withdraw himself from his printing press business three years ago due to some political and other issues. And now, he is struggling to pay his monthly bills with no stable business.
He has already sent his wife and son to his in-law’s house and trying to find some opportunities to bring back his lost luck. He faced severe depression when the pandemic ate up all his investments and even tried to commit suicide. He told me that money is the only thing that can make him happy.
A couple of days ago, we met at a coffee shop, and Ron said to me, “Nothing matters in life except money. Only money can solve all of my problems, and I must find ways to make money. I can’t survive like this.”
Well, you may be thinking, where do I stand (as I am writing about other people’s happiness). Fair enough! I quit my job in November 2020 and decided to do freelance writing for at least one year. So far, I am happy with all the things I did in the last ten months and planning not to involve in any full-time job in the near future.
Anyway, if you closely observe the condition of my two friends, they both were unhappy. And both of them are convinced that they will be happy in the future if they can get what they want. As they are very close to me, and I know both of them for more than four years, I can confidently say that they will never become happier in the future (unless they change their happiness mindset).
Let’s explore why!
Problem Is Your Only Real Friend
If you want it or not, problems will always be there in your life — in every phase. As money can buy/solve most of our basic-need-related problems, we think that we will be happier after earning more money. But this belief is delusional. And to understand that, you don’t have to be a psychiatrist.
Just look around you and observe the people with a huge amount of money and fame. Even Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, or Bill Gates are not free from problems. They have their fair share of complexities, and they, too, struggle to be happy.
There are countless examples that money, wealth, fame, influence failed to make people happier. But yes, when you lack any of it, you start believing that you will be happier after getting it — just like my friend Alex and Ron.
There are people (saints, yogis, spiritual leaders, content human beings, etc.) who are happy without possessing much money or wealth. Anyway, I am encouraging you to be a monk or yogi.
The point I am trying to make is — no matter what you have (tons of money, worldwide fame, massive mansions, dashing cars, or else), problems will always be there. Problems are your best friends — when you solve one of them, the other will instantly appear before you.
So, to be happy, you should develop (or try to build) a mindset that being happy doesn’t mean being free from all problems. And if you want happiness, you need that right now (in this present moment) — not in the distant future.
And all you need is to learn how to be happy while confronting all the problems life throws at you.
Value Relationships Over Anything
One of the preconditions to achieving happiness is to have great relationships with your family, friends, and the people around you. An 80-year-long study conducted by Harvard researchers showed that good relationships have a powerful influence on our health and happiness. It helps us live longer and happier.
But the irony of this highly tech-driven world is that we are becoming some lonely, app-dependent creatures than social beings that we truly are.
We are sacrificing our family, friends, loved ones, community relationships in the mad pursuit of earning more money to feed the delusion of a secure future. And we rarely think that if we continue to do what we are doing — there will be no future in the first place.
That’s why it’s crucial to spend quality time with your children, spouse, and near ones. You need to value the relationships you have in your life and make them more meaningful with time. Trust me — it will make your day-to-day life happier.
Don’t Look at the Stars All the Time. Keep Your Eyes on the Ground Too.
When we struggle to meet our daily needs like Ron, it’s natural for us to get demotivated and depressed. Because we start to think of ourselves as a failure thinking everyone else is having a great life. We tend to believe that we are the unfortunate ones and all other people are lucky. And our minds get so clouded that we failed to realize that millions of people are there all across the world who dream of having what we have right now.
Have you ever thought of the people who live in the war zones — the poor innocent people who live in the constant fear of being killed or abducted? Have you ever wondered what they eat or how they feel? What are their dreams? Do they feel hopeless like you? Is the very word ‘happiness’ a luxury for them?
We take everything we have for granted and then cry for more — more — and — more.
That’s why if you want to be happy, look at the ground under your feet too and be grateful for what you have. Of course, you will try to do your best to solve all your problems to enhance your happiness. But don’t ever think that you’ll be completely happy only when you will have no problems at all.
I hope you’ve already understood that happiness is a mindset, and you need to build it with deliberate thinking.
To Conclude
Don’t wait for the day when you will achieve all you wanted in life and be completely happy. Why? Because that day will never come. Mark my words — today’s life will be more complicated tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that.
Remember, happiness is not something you can achieve after solving all your problems. It’s not a future-thing. But yes, it is something that you can introduce in your daily life by upgrading your mindset and appreciating what you already have in life.
Thank you for reading.
You may read my following articles on Mind Cafe to know more about life and happiness:
- Five Subtle Signs That You’re an Insanely Smart Person
- The Unusual Meditations (You Never Heard Of)
- Find the Mystic Inside You
