My Entrepreneur Friend Has a Functioning Business — Not a Functioning Life
Here is how you can have both
A few days ago, in the evening, I was having a meeting with one of my friends at a restaurant. We ordered two burgers and cold coffee and started the discussion right away.
My friend Alex (alias) has a growing business that he started a few years ago, and now money is coming in abundance. He employed more than a hundred employees in his Dhaka office as the business is functioning very well. If you are wondering, he is only 26 years old, six years younger than me.
He was telling me about his new business plans and how and when he will execute them. When he talked about his new business, his eyes sparkled with hope and excitement.
Well, I don’t have any business right now. I have resigned from my job last November and now taking a one-year career gap and exploring writing as I am very passionate about it and do not want to regret it later for not giving a try.
At one point, my friend said, “You know, I am doing well in business but, in family, I have become nobody.”
I asked, “Why? What happened?”
What my friend said broke my heart. He said, “Every day, when I come back home, I see everyone is sleeping, and my food is kept on the table. I wash my hand and eat alone. Then I go to bed but cannot sleep. Nobody cares if I am okay or not. It happens every day. No relatives even invite him to any family events as I let them grow a mindset that I used to be very busy all the time.”
I sensed a deep dissatisfaction in my friend’s mind. Later, I asked him lots of things to know exactly how this happened, and then I suggested to him ways to reconnect with his family again.
But I think it’s not just my friend Alex. It’s the story of many entrepreneurs or businessmen who — in their pursuit of business growth — ignored and then lost the beauty of life and living. And much later, when they realize it, there is no coming back. Broken relationships are hard to mend.
As I have seen many of my friends with the same problems, I will suggest some ways to balance your life so that you can avoid being an alien in your own family.
Determine your working hours
A 9–5 job has a specific time limit. When you leave the office, in most cases, you don’t have to worry about works. But running a business is a 24hrs job. Even when you are not in the office, you are constantly thinking about your business.
Your mind becomes your running office filled with ideas, thinking, new clients, meetings, services, offers, growth, and the immense pressure of giving salary to your employees at the month-end. People are wrong when they say that business gives us the freedom to choose whatever we want. No, it does not. It sucks all your attention away from you, especially when your business is in the initial stage.
Alex says that days after days, he would come home at 3.00 am after completing his business responsibilities, meetings, and all. He said that sometimes his mind went blank and could not process a thing. He was under extreme mental pressure in the first two years.
I know it will be tough for businessmen to determine their work hours. But no matter how tough it can be, you must do it to keep your life functional. Set a time limit and then follow it religiously. It can be from 8 am to 10 pm, if you want to work long hours. But not more than that.
After your determined hour, please shut down your phone for a few hours to avoid distractions and enjoy your family time. Remember, you are running your business to lead a happy life, not to become a money-earning machine.
Eat at least one meal with your family
My friend Alex failed to do this every day. He leaves home very early in the morning, takes his breakfast at the office. He works all day long, attends meetings, eats lunch with clients, monitors overall office activities, solves problems, does more works, and finally, comes home late at night and eats alone. He lacks work-life balance in his life like most businessmen.
It happens when we give something more priority than it deserves. Of course, growing a business needs many things to sacrifice as the opportunity cost is high. But never leave your family behind to build a business. Be very clear why you are running a business with all your efforts and sacrifices. Because you want to be happy with your family being free from financial struggle, right? So, why are you losing your family in the first place?
To reestablish balance in your life, try your best to sit down with your family at the dining table and have dinner with them. Show interest in their stories and share yours.
Having at least one meal together is a great way to rebuild your connection with the family. If you do so, your family will love you more and understand your situation better. If anything goes wrong with you, they will offer mental support to you. Most importantly, you will not feel alone and your days will be more meaningful than ever.
Go outing with your family once a month
Alex told me that his family arranged a trip to Cox’s Bazar Sea Beach without even inviting him. When he asked his mom why they planned a trip without him, she said, “You are too busy, so we thought you would not go with us”.
In the last two years, Alex developed an impression that he has no time for his family as he is always busy with his business. But now, Alex is regretting it and telling me that he thinks he has no family at all as he becomes nobody in his own family.
It happens when we are too focused on one thing and ignores every other aspect of life. To achieve entrepreneurial dreams or business growth, many sacrifice their health and relationships and work so hard. But when they reach the desired outcome, they find out that the other valuable things such as family, friends, relatives, and joy of life are long gone.
That’s why it’s always a good idea to take one or two days off from work and go outing with your family. No, you don’t need to go to a different country or something. Instead, visit your parent’s or relative’s house or a nearby park with your kids.
Have fun with your family and show interest in their life. Have dinner in a good restaurant, watch a movie together, and buy them ice cream while on your way back home.
If you are single, pay a surprise visit to your parent’s house with some gifts. Spend time with them and listen to what they say. Don’t forget to share your thoughts with them as well. Thus keep the relationships harmonious and vibrant.
You must know that in the end, good relationships with friends and family matter the most than any amount of money or success. When you lose them, you miss the beauty of life.
Practice deliberate thinking before going to bed every day
Our fast-paced life hardly allows us to sit quietly and think about our actions. But to have a balanced life, you must build a habit of deliberate thinking.
My friend Alex was so focused on his entrepreneurial goals that he didn’t think anything else. Yes, now he achieved the desired results in his business, but he lost all his connection to his family. Instead of being happy with his success, he is now experiencing mental discomfort.
He says, “I hardly took any break from works. My business is now more stable. But I lost my family. Now I don’t know how to reclaim my place in my own family. Sometimes, I feel lost.”
So, before going to bed, sit quietly in your room alone with a notepad and pen to evaluate your present situations, actions, decisions, and plan. Just fifteen to thirty minutes of thought can save put you on the right track all the time. It can help you organize your thoughts and give you more control over your life.
To conclude
Be an entrepreneur, run a business but don’t forget why are you doing that in the first place? All it is to secure your happiness in life. And without a good relationship with your near ones, you cannot be truly happy. So make sure you are having a well-balanced life.
- Determine your working hours — to take control of your time so that you can enjoy the rest of your time.
- Eat at least one meal a day with your family — to get connected with them and have a family feeling.
- Go outing with them once a month — to give your kids and spouse some wonderful memories to cherish.
- Practice deliberate thinking before going to bed every day —to evaluate your current actions and be on the right track.
Thank you for reading.
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