No Ring — No Bring
Now our friendship is hanging by a string
No ring — no bring.
I get it.
It’s a perhaps post-pandemic world.
You’re trying to make the wedding smaller and cut out any temporaries.
No ring — no bring.
Means I have no co-pilot to help me reach my destination on time.
Instead of arriving at the ceremony together, my co-pilot is at home making lunch.
I’m finding parking — alone.
In a sea of people who do have co-pilots.
All because of jewelry on their fingers.
Should we pretend? I wondered when I sent in my dinner preferences.
For me.
Just me.
Should we say that in the midst of the pandemic and hiding at home, we’d secretly gotten engaged?
No.
Because I want the real thing.
I don’t want someone to give me a ring so they can come to your wedding.
No ring — no bring.
I look over at a woman across the aisle who has known her fiancé for six months — while I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years.
No ring — no bring.
It places unreasonable expectations that all partners must be married, engaged, or invalid.
Married, engaged, or invalid.
It’s 2021.
Many partners will not choose the first two — we have other things on our minds.
We have sky-high rent to pay and stressful jobs.
Of course we want to do this together.
We want to do life together.
We just haven’t sealed it with a piece of jewelry to validate our love for one another so that I can bring him to a party.
No ring — no bring.
Married, engaged, or invalid.
I’m in the third category as I sit and watch the ceremony alone.
I watch as children cry and parents comfort them, all with rings around their fingers.
Would my partner be such a burden to this party if he didn’t bear metal around his finger on his left hand?
I see another woman sitting alone across the aisle.
I know her.
She and her partner have chosen not to marry, so she must come alone as well even though they are well into their sixties and have been partners for over a decade.
Married, engaged, or invalid.
I vow to make friends with her — and I also vow to not leave my partner behind again.
Supporting friends is important — and that goes both ways.
No ring — no bring means I will now send a beautiful card and a gift, but I will be at home with my partner.
I will not leave him behind to watch your union.
I will not leave him behind because he’s barred from entry.
Rings are beautiful — but love transcends jewelry.
