No One Deserves to be an Object of Ridicule
People I met and I decided to walk away from told me that treating me like an object of their ridicule was how they wanted to tease me.
The gifts I received from the friends with whom I walked away were hurt and resentment. I call them “gifts” because they make me understand which behavior I should and shouldn’t show to others. One of those gifts is “ridicule.”
During my teenage to 20s, I let people make fun of me in public and on social media. Why? Because I was scared of having no friends. I think it came from my history of being bullied and abandoned in school (you can read my article about me being bullied here.) I spent all of my teenage searching for acceptance, and letting myself be ridiculed was one of the seeking methods. When I turned 30 and had to see a psychiatrist to fix my mental health, I realized that the only one who I needed the acceptance of the most was myself.
Teasing and ridicule have different definitions.
Many people usually used “teasing” as an excuse to comfort me and expected me to feel nothing at all even though I was their object of scorn.
To scorn or ridicule, it is not the way to make a bond. Here are some examples of ridicule.
- Humiliating or mocking words or actions
- Laughing when someone accidentally hurt themselves
- Screen capturing a conversation from messenger or so and posting on social media and let others be fun and laugh with it
- Embarrassing someone
- Making someone look bad to others
That “someone” is me in the past. Those who made these to me ended up with, “I just teased you because I love you.”
Oh really?
Now, let’s look at my resentment and the mental illness that I still have to deal with because of their “love.”
- I have anxiety and depression
- I have imposter experience
- I have a problem with low self-esteem
- I never feel I am good enough
- I always want to get acceptance from people
- I am scared of being abandoned
- I have social anxiety
- I have a haunting feeling of being ridiculed
I don’t deserve to be ridiculed, and no one does. I am doing much better now from seeing a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a medication.
Before I finish this article, I may have a few things to take home with you.
- Think about your actions in the past and the present. Are you making someone an object of ridicule? If yes, please stop.
- Do you say “I just teased you” a lot? If yes, please check if your teasings are meant to make a good bond. If not, please stop.
If you like my story, you might also like “What It’s Like to Live with Chronic Depression” from Erin M. Nanasi
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