Fiction| Fantasy| Mash-Up
No Means No!
Unless you’re under Poofie’s spell…
This story is based on a series of responses to The Kraken Lore’s long-lost Monday Mash-Up #10 — where I debuted Poofie the Pomeranian. Several writers took on the challenge, generating such TKL classics as An Adorable Dog Enters a Post-Apocalyptic World by Sieran Lane, Puppy Noire by Beth Peterson, The Poofie Problem by Mojave Green, and Pigeon Power by Sweet Chaos to name a few. I thoroughly enjoyed all the responses so much that I swore to return to the prompt. Today is that day.
Poofie was absolutely starving! His servants hadn’t fed him in at least six days, and he could feel his powers diminishing by the minute. He needed sustenance, yet no one would hear his pleas for help.
“Please, Sir! I’m as hungry as a horse! As starving as a caterpillar! As famished as a … starving peasant!”
But his cries fell on deaf ears — or, perhaps, indifferent ones. Everyone he found ignored his cries.
Finally, he saw it — his one, true desire — Gabby’s half-eaten cake, complete with icing, burned-out candles, and even Gabby’s facial impression where her older brother had smooshed her face into it!
He cleverly lifted the broken child-safety latch on one drawer. From there, his firm, steady legs catapulted his round, regal body to the countertop where, after a short prayer to his dark master and a running start, he leapt over the chasm and onto the kitchen island where his prize sat defenseless.
“Poofie! How many times…” His majestic coat was squeezed by two giant hands. “No means no!” a voice boomed angrily.
“Unhand me, you oafish cretin!” Poofie quipped back to Corey, Gabby’s brother. “Your day will come!”
He was unceremoniously plopped onto the floor.
“Your days are numbered, knave! You’ll rue the day you — ”
Poofie was suddenly distracted by a bright flash out the window. He recognized that flash! He scuttled along the tile flooring and out the back doggy door into the garden. There he saw Angela, his beloved, lying on her back in the dirt. A strip of reflective tape stuck to her mouth shone in the sunlight.
“Angela! How’d you get there?” Poofie screamed, running full-tilt into the garden where Gabby’s father had planted all those smelly herbs that he wasn’t allowed to eat. He grabbed Angela by the arm and dragged her around the house, unseen.
Angela was unharmed but dirty, having landed in the soil and having been dragged across the yard by Poofie. Still, her baseball cap with the local team’s logo of a red canoe with racing stripes was unmistakable.
“Poofie!” Gabby’s father yelled at him from the other end of the backyard. “Get out of my garden! No means no!”
With all the commotion, the entire house was soon in the backyard, Gabby, Corey, their mother and father, even the cat came out to mock him! They were all shouting, pointing, yelling at Poofie. “No means no!”
“Yeah, I get it. No means no! Sheesh…”
Everyone stopped talking and stared, flabbergasted, at the tiny Pomeranian who just spoke.
“Oops! I mean, uh… woof woof?!”
Angela just stared, silent and dumbfounded as always.
My Score:14/14 Poofie is being tempted by everything! He's a Pom! 2 points Canoe: +1 point Racing Stripes: +1 point Angela was shining due to reflective tape: +1 point Gabby's half-eaten birthday cake: +1 point Poofie can speak at the end! +2 points Lots of similes! +5 points This sexy tally box: +1 point
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