Pride and Regret

No Child Should Leave School Feeling Worthless

Pride

As soon as I signed in for Back-to-School Night, many years ago, a parent cornered me in the office. “You did what no other teacher has ever done,” he told me — and the entire high school office. “I don’t know how you did it, but you turned my boy's life around. Thank you so much.”

I shook his hand and thanked him but all I did was encourage his son to believe in himself. After all, no child should leave school feeling worthless.

That’s part of my English lesson plan every day — to get my students excited about life and its limitless opportunities. The secret, I guess, is to make each student feel like their the most important student in the class — and I know how impossible that may seem now with remote learning. What’s the alternative? A life made stale because of unrealized dreams and underutilized potential?

What I did with his son is something I try to do with every student. I want to get to know each student as a person. On the first day of school, I assign an essay: tell me who you are. But first I show a video, as I pretend to be full of stage fright, and show them an essay, in humorous and satirical form of mine called “Summer Vacation with Mr. Bowne” about how I’m “Always a Writer.”

The man’s son wrote an essay called “Always a Gamer.” It had the usual mechanical errors and errors in syntax and topic sentences and structure, but it had a wonderful voice and sincerity. Would he be interested in writing reviews for the school paper? Since I was the high school newspaper advisor, I had some clout with the editors.

It worked. He found worth as a game reviewer, writing a review for each edition. Each column had his picture. Now the whole school knew him. His writing improved. His English grade improved. He got excited about school and according to his father life. Because we are “friends” of Facebook, I know he graduated with a degree in English.

It’s not like I fill students with false platitudes like, “You’re all just so perfect!” But I do want them to look into the mirror and like whom they see, and if they don’t like the reflection, then do something meaningful about it.

Too many students leave school feeling depressed and dispirited because they’re merely average. No award — no honor roll — no homecoming queen — but what a marvelous life may appear — regardless of grade or teacher’s perceptions or misconceptions.

Education occurs every second of the day. I’ve always joked, but it’s not really a joke, that if “I relied on my education for my education, I’d be an idiot.” And if those precious seconds are sold to the devil of quiet desperation — All Is lost.

Regret

During the same year, I saw this “Land of the Lost” during behavior modification, which means “in school suspension” but with an Orwellian moniker.

The students mostly sit with their heads down, angry and valueless. Sometimes I offer my 10-minute lecture of encouragement or “Bowne Life Lesson #107,” but what can I do? Who am I to them? Why listen to me?

One time I told a repeat offender to read Newsweek’s coverage of Barack Obama. The student was African American. Surprisingly, he sat on the radiator and read for ten minutes, but then an administrator arrived in the room and told him to sit in his seat. That was the protocol.

Perhaps the administrator could have asked, “So, what are you reading?”

That is the point of school, right? Reading and thinking and empowerment, unless, of course, it’s really about compliance. It could have provided a catalyst for the student who would have felt empowered, worthy — maybe for the first time. For the first time, he could have had a meaningful conversation with an authority figure that wasn’t about Crime and Punishment.

Instead, the boy threw down Newsweek. slumped back in his chair, and put his head down, like it’s always been down. I wonder what he’s doing now?

I wanted to tell the boy, “I’m sorry, but you still have worth. I believe that. But you need to believe that.”

But I didn’t. I’m not sure his folks would come back to Back to School Night, but if they did, I’m sure they wouldn’t shake my hand. Or maybe they would. For at least ten minutes, their child read something in school that interested him.

Thank you for reading! Follow me on Medium at Walter Bowne