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Abstract

e), and interact with the first thing you see.</p><p id="6b8e">Even if it’s just a tree or a broken fence post, the results might surprise you. You never know what golden chicken-nugget of a story might be lurking behind a bush. It might stir some deep emotion or memory that forces you to write something interesting.</p><p id="595a">For each story based on something other than your stupid imagination, Medium will automatically award it 1000 claps.</p><p id="fc2e">How’s that for progress!</p><h2 id="acfa">But why stop there?</h2><p id="0805">To inspire discovery, Medium will award additional claps, and even a cash prize, for real life stories based on the following.</p><p id="b8f2"><b>5000 Claps</b> — Getting on a form of public transport of your choice (not a taxi or airplane), and talking to at least one other person (not the driver).</p><p id="9a6f"><b>10,000 Claps</b> — Holding a meaningful debate for an hour with at least three other humans.</p><p id="76c1"><b>20,000 Claps </b>— Eating a meal of at least three courses without looking at your phone.</p><p id="3267"><b>100,000 Claps</b> — Going on holiday without any electronic devices whatsoever.</p><p id="2499"><b>500,000 Claps —</b> Not returning from your holiday.</p><p id="e982"><b>1 Million Claps</b> — Completely packing your life in, and walking into the sunset with nothing apart from a small bag.</p><p id="81c7"><b>CASH PRIZE</b>: Free month’s Medium membership for completing the above.</p><p id="821c">The first task might be tricky for those who consider public transport some diseased socialist relic that’s best avoided. But after you’ve cast away your fears, prejudices and hang-ups, the world could be your oyster.</p><p id="5c51">No longer confined to your (electric) chair at home, you’ll be free to roam the world, picking up all sorts of interesting stories you can regurgitate into engaging articles on culture, art, religion, philosophy, music and food that doesn’t come in a tin.</p><p id="ae83">And after a few years of slogging it out on the road half starving to death, you can return home loaded with over a billion claps and a free month’s M

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edium membership to look forward to.</p><p id="5e2c">Enjoy!</p><p id="1d9f">Thanks for being human. And thanks to AI bot <a href="undefined">Natasha MH</a> for the ingenious prompt that I stole. For more Medium advice, check out:</p><div id="dda0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/new-medium-advice-publish-3000-articles-a-day-1dd20939bcd7"> <div> <div> <h2>New Medium Advice: Publish 3000 Articles a Day</h2> <div><h3>Medium HQ issues new guidelines to battle AI terror threat</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*zIu5LCCo5JIqbFeOLz5wgw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="bab0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/new-medium-news-boosting-program-now-has-five-levels-79e1f6e2b96a"> <div> <div> <h2>New Medium News: Boosting Program Now Has Five Levels</h2> <div><h3>Taking your crappy writing into the stratosphere and beyond!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*TB9ppPnzvx_y81koqNU68A.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a946" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/four-hour-medium-reads-are-in-short-pieces-are-out-39853d90a115"> <div> <div> <h2>Four Hour Medium Reads Are IN — Short Pieces are OUT</h2> <div><h3>Why the Long Form is Back!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*_2C2anJtURwXPO67m89TfA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Adventures in Medium

New Medium Policy: 1000 Claps for Conversing With a Human Being

Medium introduces new clapping policy to encourage writers to engage with their own species

**Hi, I’m a human being! Shit, so am I!** (Photo by Anirudh on Unsplash)

It gets to this time of the month when Medium announces another policy shift in order to reassure writers they are listening to their concerns.

Recent initiatives, such as requiring authors to submit a minimum of 3000 pieces a day, didn’t go down well. Writers were baffled as to how this would earn them more money, and so went back to writing 3–4 minute pieces on how amazing Canva is.

Medium’s latest policy encourages writers to get back out there onto terra firma (aka the real world) and start interacting with their own species again, instead of cavorting with extra-terrestrial AI creations such as Chat123.

It’s hoped that by mingling with Homo sapiens, writers will start producing real life stories, instead of making up shit in their heads.

While Medium encourages the use of the imagination, it’s aware that most people don’t have one. This is why this new policy targets writers who think they possess creativity, but in fact don’t. The kind of people who start erotic fantasy novels, but get stuck after the word ‘sword’.

He held his sword….

This is why Medium is asking you to go outside. Get up from your computer (if you can do that), open the door (that’s the oblong-shaped piece of wood), walk 10 yards outside into the air (that’s the stuff you breathe), and interact with the first thing you see.

Even if it’s just a tree or a broken fence post, the results might surprise you. You never know what golden chicken-nugget of a story might be lurking behind a bush. It might stir some deep emotion or memory that forces you to write something interesting.

For each story based on something other than your stupid imagination, Medium will automatically award it 1000 claps.

How’s that for progress!

But why stop there?

To inspire discovery, Medium will award additional claps, and even a cash prize, for real life stories based on the following.

5000 Claps — Getting on a form of public transport of your choice (not a taxi or airplane), and talking to at least one other person (not the driver).

10,000 Claps — Holding a meaningful debate for an hour with at least three other humans.

20,000 Claps — Eating a meal of at least three courses without looking at your phone.

100,000 Claps — Going on holiday without any electronic devices whatsoever.

500,000 Claps — Not returning from your holiday.

1 Million Claps — Completely packing your life in, and walking into the sunset with nothing apart from a small bag.

CASH PRIZE: Free month’s Medium membership for completing the above.

The first task might be tricky for those who consider public transport some diseased socialist relic that’s best avoided. But after you’ve cast away your fears, prejudices and hang-ups, the world could be your oyster.

No longer confined to your (electric) chair at home, you’ll be free to roam the world, picking up all sorts of interesting stories you can regurgitate into engaging articles on culture, art, religion, philosophy, music and food that doesn’t come in a tin.

And after a few years of slogging it out on the road half starving to death, you can return home loaded with over a billion claps and a free month’s Medium membership to look forward to.

Enjoy!

Thanks for being human. And thanks to AI bot Natasha MH for the ingenious prompt that I stole. For more Medium advice, check out: