PARENTING | SURVIVAL

Never Teach Kids This One Thing: It Will Damage Their Brains & Our Future

I still feel a little sick after reading this horrible advice

Some parenting advice I hope no one follows passed through my eyes, and my ears and stabbed me in the heart this morning.

It was about our children.

Your children, my children, and the world’s children.

My eyes were insulted as I read an argument for why we should allow our kids to say hateful things in school. We shouldn’t correct them.

They shouldn’t be denied freedom of speech, after all.

This included hateful words, and despicable horrible words, which should be embraced as their right.

The author advised, for one thing, that “Kids Should Absolutely Disrespect the President.”

Kids.

Disrespect.

The irony was not lost on me that the author is not a parent. She did reference her memory of being scared of the people around her when she was little.

Her personal back story, as well as her reasoning, were well stated and passionate. I was torn because I enjoyed her brain-stretching article and how well she stated her position.

However, I disagreed with the bulk of her disciplinary, or lack thereof, stance for our youth.

Her political argument got lost in the fray.

The glaring problem was revealed with her theory that she continually promoted taking adult issues and imposing them on children.

The article brought this quote to my mind.

“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.” ~ Adele Faber

The author of the story shared her personal fears that were, and are, real. They should not be ignored or discounted.

At the same time, her experiences should not be employed as a ‘one-size-fits-all’ mentality for raising our children.

In fact, quite the opposite.

Being raised fearful and skeptical of authority, and the population around her should trigger a cease-and-desist mentality.

She should try to prevent anyone, everyone, especially the kids, from being subjected to the same negative experiences.

Wouldn’t you do everything in your power to keep others from those same feelings?

Break the cycle.

Though I do agree with her that punishment is not the proper tool to combat improper behaviors ~ when redirection is a better answer. She didn’t offer that, but I do.

In her argument for why kids should not be punished for hate speech, several things jumped out.

Her statements made me cringe, such as,

Our political speech, our ability to dissent, no matter how loudly or offensively, is quite possibly the most important kind of speech to be protected.~ Nyk

This is only a somewhat correct ideology FOR ADULTS. Even we should have the maturity to rein in ‘offensively.’

Kids should play.

How do kids have political opinions, as kids, anyway?

I support freedom of speech, regardless of age. No one should be stifled. However, the proper presentation of dissent should be taught and factored in accordingly.

Respect for differences can and should be communicated with more compassion than “no matter how loudly or offensively.”

And then, this:

Every single child in this nation should have had the right during the last four years to say, “F*ck Donald Trump.” ~ Nyk (the * is mine)

Every single child? Really?

Any child, ever?

Don’t teach them to hate.

The child’s brain doesn’t process adult information and infusing them with it can be confusing, stressful, and thwart proper development.

Political speech?

Hate?

Kids?

Kids should play.

Dropping the F-bomb to voice disgust of any person, including authority, is hate, pure and simple.

To allow children to do so is unconscionable.

Whether the child is in elementary school or even high school, hate doesn’t do anything but perpetuate more hate.

Per the CDC:

How the brain grows is strongly affected by the child’s experiences with other people and the world. Nurturing care for the mind is critical for brain growth. Children grow and learn best in a safe environment where they are protected from neglect and from extreme or chronic stress with plenty of opportunities to play and explore.

Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage them to help people in need. Talk with them about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.

Help your child set their own goals. Encourage them to think about skills and abilities they would like to have and about how to develop them.

As parents, we have every right to guide our children as we see fit.

And, when parenting promotes hate speech, disrespect, abuse, or any discrimination, and it bleeds over into my children, I have every right to take a stand against it.

And I will.

We need to remember to let kids be kids. Our job is to nurture them, provide safe environments, and offer them emotional stability.

Don’t teach them to hate.

Ever.

Let’s teach them kindness and respect.

Respect is the most invaluable lesson that a parent or mentor can teach their child. Respect quotes for kids will help children learn what respect is all about. Your little one is in a learning stage, and it’s the best time for you to instill morals in them. ~ Shivank Joshi

Let’s focus on the value of teaching kids to be respectful in the face of adversity or even differences.

Healing Properties of Kindness for the Mind

Likewise, kindness positively changes the way your brain is wired. The act of being kind also raises the neurotransmitters known as serotonin and dopamine. These are the brain chemicals that provide us with ‘feel-good’ feelings and well-being.

In addition, kindness causes another brain chemical, known as Endorphins, to be released which are your body’s natural pain killer.

I can’t be convinced that allowing a child to drop F-bombs will ever be kind. Nor can I imagine that they have any political leanings other than what their parents force-feed them.

Children are sponges.

Hate is a learned behavior.

So are kindness and respect.

Let’s teach them how to love themselves and their neighbor.

A back-to-basics approach works well, too.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. ~ my Mom

Especially if your parents tell you to hate any President.

Don’t teach them to hate.

Ever.

Postscript: I appreciated Nyk’s ability to engage in quality back and forth. Differences in opinion should always be learning opportunities. We were able to maturely discuss our vantage points. Thank you, Nyk.

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