Never Settle! — Here Is How You Can Construct Your New Personality from Scratch

Personality is not fixed. And certainly, you can construct it with conscious efforts.

I was not very fond of my father when I was a kid.

My father was a short-tempered man who would react to everything instantly (without listening or understanding completely). Moreover, he would love to stay in his comfort zone and try hard to avoid any new experience or risk. And when I would become slightly adventurous, my father scolded me for not being in the same bubble he resided in.

For example, reading books outside the school syllabus was highly discouraged, playing with other kids (whom he didn’t like for no reason) was prohibited, going anywhere without his approval was banned, and so on.

This rigid personality of my father always hurt me the most. And for good reasons, I never wanted to be my father. No way! I was extremely determined to be a different person from my father.

Now at the age of 32, I can confidently say that (despite the things that gene imprinted in me) I have become a person different than him. I developed my personality consciously, and I am slowly becoming the person I always wanted to be — happy, open to new experiences, and risk-taker.

From my experience, I know that it is possible to construct one’s personality intentionally. And, of course, it’s never late to start working to build a new or upgraded personality.

But how can you do that? How can you be the person you always wanted to be? How can you adopt the things that you admire in other people? What’s the secret?

Who You Want to Be Tomorrow

Generally, your personality gets shaped by past experiences, the people you are surrounded with and your interactions with them, your habits, your attitude towards life, the choices you make, the friendships you keep, the places you live and visit, the things you like and dislike, and other million things.

But when you tend to think that personality is permanent (which is completely untrue), you get stuck in the belief that you are who you are and cannot change it. Consequently, you give up and live your miserable life with a miserable personality till death.

On the contrary, the time when you wake up and strive to change, you start your journey to becoming the person you always wanted to be. Your will to change is crucial.

Deciding who you want to be in the future comes first while constructing your personality. In other words, you have to have a clear idea about your future self; where you want to see yourself in the next five years, ten years, or even fifteen years. The steps towards building a new personality look like the following —

• Set your purpose (be specific about your goals).
• Have a clear vision of how you want your future self to be and what attributes you need to possess.
• Now be intentional and go outside of your comfort zone to do things that can help you be the person you aspire to be.

When you set your purpose and goals and start doing the hard work necessary to achieve those, your personality slowly gets shaped in a new and upgraded form.

Step into the Unkown

When you set your purpose and who you want to be in the future, you must do things that you’ve never done before. I know it’s uncomfortable or terrifying at first, but you must come out of your comfort zone no matter what.

If you are an introvert but want to be a public speaker in the next five years, you have to stand in front of your audience. You must be curious about people, speak to them intentionally, explore their lives and find out how you can help them achieve their goals. You have to practice, practice, and practice the art of speaking in front of an audience. Tons of trials and errors will lead you towards success. Moreover, you must build a good relationship with other people in the same field.

All of this happens only when you will come out of your lifelong belief that you suck at socializing as you are an introvert.

Remember, you become who you choose to be. So choose wisely and never be afraid to explore the unknown territory. If it is aligned with your goals, go and explore them. Have the experience and grow.

As my father used to be very rigid, I always wanted to be an open-minded person. So, from a very early age, I started reading books after books outside my school syllabus (though my father disliked it), used to meet different people, and had conversations(though I thought I was an introvert). Even at one point, I joined a theatre group to meet new people and grow new skills. I also attended numerous workshops and conferences only to learn more about others and expand my view of the world. On the way, I became open-minded and flexible.

And what did I learn?

I learned that you always have the choice to construct your own personality. And it’s never late to become a better version of yourself. You no longer need to live your life under someone else’s shadow if you dare to step into the unknown.

Just be brave and work hard to construct your personality.

Let Go of the Past

Past experiences, trauma, failure, heartbreak, fear, discomfort — all of these keep people stuck in the bubble and restrict their progress. People get frightened of repeating the same mistake they did in the past. Consequently, they remain the same person they used to be.

But when you become courageous and start building your new self, the interpretation of your past becomes different too. That’s why when successful people talk about their struggling past, you give them credit for who they become now and how they overcame that past. No one appreciates people who get stuck in their miserable past.

Never let your past define your present or future self. Give your past a break. And construct an amazing future.

If your past is hindering you from becoming an excellent purpose-driven person, just let go of the past. Forgive those people who caused you discomfort and pain, and forget the traumatic incidents. Only remember the learnings and nothing else.

If you spend too much time looking at your past, how could you go forward and build your future self?

Join the People Who’ve Already Achieved What You Want to Achieve

You can learn a great deal from the people who have already achieved what you want to achieve and make your journey less troublesome.

Be patient, show genuine interest in them, and ask for advice. They will unveil their secret if they find you trustworthy. And you may have a clearer understanding of your journey ahead.

When I started blogging in 2013, I knew no one on that platform. But within a year, I made a dozen of truly amazing friends. We spent time together, shared our thoughts, traveled to new places, and learned (and still learn) a lot from each other. If I hadn’t met those wonderful human beings on the way, I can never be the person I am now. A whole new world opened in front of me because of those connections.

The type of people you are surrounded with matters a lot. Because they leave an impact on you.

In most cases, you adopt one or two characteristics of the people you meet often and they do the same. That’s why you must spend most of your time with the people from whom you can learn something that can help you be the better version of yourself.

As building your personality is always a work in progress, you need to be intentional and spend time with the people who can help you grow.

Repeat the Good Works Until It Becomes Automatic

Do you want to be a morning person? Set the alarm and wake up. The first day will feel like hell. All you will want is to stay in bed for one more minute. But if you confront the uneasiness and wake up instantly, despite what your present self wants and you repeat it for days, it will become a routine.

Within a few days or weeks, you will notice that you no longer need the alarm clock to wake up in the morning. Your eyes will automatically be open, and you will be desperate to leave the bed and hit the gym.

The activities you do every day towards your goals and your future self ultimately become inseparable parts of your personality. Make these activities automatic by repeating. Repetition is a must when you want to build a new habit.

If you struggle to have open conversations with others, do it intentionally every single day until the day comes when you no longer have to push yourself for a conversation. The same goes for building any habits or new changes to construct or upgrade your personality.

To Conclude

Personality is not something you are born with. Rather it is something that you build over time brick by brick. No matter how good or bad a person you are, there is always room for improvement.

So, if you are not satisfied being who you currently are, be brave and start working your ass off to be the person you always wanted to be.

• First, set your purpose and goals (who you want to be and why).
• Second, let go of your past and prepare to step into the unknown (forget and forgive, build new habits, adopt great attributes).
• Third, surround yourself with the people who have already achieved what you want to achieve (spend time with inspiring people).
• Finally, repeat the things you want to see in your future self until they become an inseparable part of your daily life (repeat, repeat, and repeat good things).

Thank you for reading.

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