PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Needing A Scapegoat — Why Deciding Means Failing

Make your own decisions to take back your life

As a food scientist my friends often approach me and ask Can I eat that? What do you think of this diet? Is milk really bad for us? — and surely I’ll answer to best of my knowledge and belief. They’re asking for advice, for guidance in the dark they are trapped in and I’m glad to shed some light.

And yet I can’t shake the feeling that I’m suddenly deciding how they should live their lives. I have my opinions, my beliefs, my principles on which to base my decisions, but they don’t necessarily coincide with theirs. So on Can I eat that I can only answer Sure, if you can reconcile it with your values. But what if you have none?

Everybody has to take on some responsibility for their own life eventually. Through decisions.

You have to acquire knowledge

Of course, there’s a difference between reaching out for advice and making decisions. Asking for advice provides you with information, it’ll increase your knowledge of a certain topic and help you form an opinion. It’ll help you immensely if you have enough knowledge in a certain field, to make your decision. So ask, listen, watch, read and learn — whichever way suits you best.

But some people tend to outsource that part — the acquiring knowledge part. They don’t want to know why something is like that, why some diet is good or bad. Maybe they’re not interested or maybe it’s too exhausting for them. They simply want a result, a perfect result, without making any effort, without contribution.

They want someone else to make the decision for them and most of all — they want to blame you if they fail.

Decision making means dealing with failure

Your ability to make decisions is essentially your ability to deal with failure. If you let others decide for you, you’re handing over the responsibility. Never again you have to blame yourself for a diet that did not work out or a goal you didn’t achieve— probably it was just bad advice. Life’s just a huddle of decisions, a constant string of tedious and tiring decisions between should or shouldn’t I. But will it still be your life if you‘re not the one making those decisions — no matter how difficult they may be? Will it not just be you, sneaking away from your life like a rat into the sewers? Is that a life worth living?

I’ll make it short — if you make decisions, it’ll most likely happen that you make the wrong ones. You will fail. You will fall. You will shipwreck and you will regret it all. But eventually, you will rise again, grown from your previous imperfections, and then do it all over again.

But what will help you, is building a profound foundation of knowledge. Gaining and collecting information to base your decisions without depending on other people’s opinions. Regain control over your life without others dictating what to like and think and feel and do.

I don’t want to be anyone’s scapegoat. I don’t want to tell anyone how to live their life. I don’t want to make any decision for you. I want you, and only you, to decide — with me only giving you the enlightenment you need to build your own knowledge foundation.

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