My White Doctor Didn’t Look At Me

A Letter To Whomever This Applies

Preface

I don’t know how this happened (maybe because my parents soaked up a lot of Asian culture since they lived in different Asian countries), but most of my doctors have all been Asian.

My dentist is Asian. My eye doctor is Asian. My physician is Asian. They are all of different nationalities and backgrounds, but Asian nonetheless. All except my pediatrician, a black female (one of the best doctors I’ve ever had).

I’ve always gone to the doctor. I’ve never had any major health issues. I’ve never been to the emergency room or had to go to the hospital, and at one point, I even wanted to be a doctor until I realized I am a germaphobe — except when it comes to dogs, which doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but oh well.

I am amply grateful for my health.

The Decision

I was in my teenage years, and I decided to try out a white male doctor. Why not? The doctor’s office was close to my house, and they seemed to be a successful and flourishing practice.

What Happened @ The Appointment

I got into my appointment behind the magical door that everyone enters to go back and visit personally with the doctor.

I said, “Hi, how are you?” to the doctor (no eye contact from the doc), and I started going over the purpose of my visit (no eye contact from the doc). The doctor conveyed to me what the course of treatment would be (no eye contact from the doc). I then followed up with a few questions (no eye contact from the doc). After we concluded the visit, I told the doctor thank you and have a great day (still no eye contact from the doc). Mind you, I looked at the doctor the entire time, but he never graced me with his eyes one single time.

This was literally my worst medical experience I had in my life.

Not only did he not humanize me, but he also made me feel unimportant. I was in my teenage years at this time, and it affects me to this day.

I know there are plenty of talented and kind-hearted white male and female doctors — I’ve met them. But I was so traumatized by the experience as a kid that I never put in the effort to make a white doctor my primary care provider.

Reflection

I feel if I were older and had the same experience, maybe it could've gone differently. I would not have demanded respect, but I feel the doctor would realize to himself: hey, this woman shouldn’t be ignored or not given any attention.

The Medical Experience For Minorities

Many Black individuals to this day are not given equivalent medical care as their white counterparts. Maybe if my parents had been there at the doctor's with me, he would have given me more attention. Maybe if I were of different skin color or looked different, the doctor would have granted me eye contact. Maybe he was dealing with unconscious bias. Maybe he was having a bad day.

But none of these are viable excuses for not looking at me one single time; the only thing that caught his attention was his notes. I am who I am, and the doctor treated me like I was nothing and no one.

I’m not bitter. I don’t classify all white and/or male doctors as bad. However, the experience makes me wonder about people with even less privilege than me who only have a white doctor to see. Are they being cared for with 100% quality? Are they seen, or are they invisible? Are there issues seen, or are their issues ignored? These are questions I still wonder about since my experience many years ago.

Action Required

To this day, I hear unfortunate stories about Black people who do not receive quality healthcare; I know other factors go into this, but if you’re in the healthcare field, can you ensure you treat minorities well and with quality?

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Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, or @ destinyh.com