Sexuality | Relationships | My Sex Life Diary
My Two Boyfriends Visited Me At The Same Time for Orgasm Equality
Women's sexual needs should be met as regularly as their boyfriends. No more orgasm gap! [My Sex Life]
I write erotica novels & short stories. I also publish sex confessions as a spermivore, spermaholic, and teen slut. Yes, teen slut! And I’m proud of it! Sex is good. And girls who love sex shouldn’t have to hide and pretend to be “pure.” Sex is pure! And naked skin is natural.
“While the ability to climax during every sexual experience may not rank as urgently as other feminist issues, sexuality is a core part of the human experience.” ~Jessica Valenti
As a teen, I never had more than one boyfriend at a time. Only one. At 21, my boyfriend’s name was Brad, which, of course, is a made-up name for this article. I think I loved him, although I am still working to understand love. Everything was fine in our relationship, except for the sex. Besides the fact that it was pretty vanilla, I was frustrated with Brad regularly delivering his payload inside of me, then crashing on his side on his way to snoring land while he left me hanging at the height of my arousal with nothing to do but go to the bathroom to clean up his sperm leaking out.
He had his pleasure every time we had sex, while I had mine every once in a while — one in four, at the most. Before Brad, I had boyfriends with a better statistical ratio, but it was never 1:1.
Most of the time, it didn’t matter to me. I had sexual adventures on the side with old men. In fact, often, I kept a boyfriend simply because I didn’t want boys my age to hit on me. I had more sexual fun with old men! But then, all my girlfriends were getting “steady” boyfriends, so I felt pressure to do work on that front.
You know, maybe I was concerned about committing to having only one man and one cock for the rest of my life as I was having an active sex life with many old cocks at the time. That could explain why I was concerned with how many orgasms I could get out of that “single” boyfriend.
So, back to orgasm equality with my boyfriend.
"It's normal," my mom told me. She said it was worse after marriage. That scared me even more. I don't know if I'll ever get married, then. But that's a different topic!
When having sex without assistance (no toys), it’s normal for women to reach orgasm 21–30% of the time (source: Kinsey Institute, Indiana University).
And it appears to be standard for men to be oblivious to the obvious. From the same Kinsey Institute study, men believe we reach orgasm 41–50% of the time — almost twice as much as in reality!
Men’s opinion on how often they please us seems as grandiose as their perception of the size of their penis!
The Source of Orgasm Imbalance
Why is there such an imbalance in the number of orgasms between a man and a woman? Let's see.
Men have hit-and-run characteristics. Maybe that's why we call it "banging"!
- They can come fast and easily. The best boyfriends and husbands probably force themselves into delaying the inevitable by thinking about their mother-in-law or something like that — but they all could ejaculate quickly!
- Once they come, they are 'out' for a while. I often tried getting an erection out of a penis that had just ejaculated and… It didn't work very well. I was frequently told to buzz off, in fact!
Women pretty much have the opposite characteristics.
- We usually do not come fast. What would be the fun in that, anyway?
- We can come repeatedly. Yes!!!
Who designed us in such an incompatible way? How do I contact customer support?
It's as if the creator was sadistic — for both sides, frankly. The more I become frustrated with his lack of caring for my orgasms, the more annoying I become as a girlfriend. Both men and women should create a satisfying sexual life for themselves and their partners. I think we, women, are too easily and readily accepting that we’re getting a raw deal in a society built around a one-on-one couple.
Girls! Picture this: a guy has sex with you, you have an orgasm, and he gets hard, but you both stop before he comes. It’s so rare; it’s exciting! You push it a bit more, and it’s called “tease & denial”. That’s something I did first to a work colleague when I was 18, and it was funny! In any case, if you did that to your boyfriend or husband, maybe he would enjoy being tormented once, but I doubt he would appreciate it if you were doing it to him 75% of the time you had sex! So why is it acceptable for a woman to get that treatment?
Update: I developed and enjoyed Sex Position 61 to convey that message to men!
Potential Solutions to Orgasm Imbalance
A little bit more than two years ago, before the pandemic, I “had it” with this orgasm imbalance. I was all for being nice to my boyfriend, but I couldn't continue to feel like I was barely more than an inflatable doll, which is ironic because I have since admitted that I love being used as a sex toy — but that is a different topic.
At the time, I didn't mind playing the role of a submissive sex toy once in a while for fun, but while thinking about a “steady” boyfriend, it wasn't enough of a two-way street. So I started looking for solutions.
I wasn't looking for a tit-for-tat climax competition, just more equality.
Masturbating For The Missed Orgasms
I tried using sex toys after he was done with me, but as soon as the vibration would start, he would awake from his half-asleep state, look at me, clearly hurt — "You didn't come, babe?" It took me a lot of self-control not to kill him! Every time!
Eventually, the only way I could get more orgasms was by pleasuring myself with toys while he was not around. Although satisfying at the moment, I found that subterfuge was nonsensical and frustrating. Sex is something I enjoy. I like men. I like penises. I like strong arms lifting me and flipping me around to bang me from behind. I wanted to enjoy my man just as much as my man enjoyed my young female body.
Going Down With a Lesbian
I found solace over the fence. I had girl-on-girl sex with my best friend, Jane, for years. After all, another woman ought to be more in tune with my needs or, at the very least, more aware when her performance is subpar. And we have more stamina! We can keep going after an initial orgasm.
But I also liked men. I liked the penises. I craved being trapped in powerful arms.
An Affair, For More Sex
Sexually unsatisfied with my boyfriend, I started looking for a second boyfriend my age on the side.
Some boys (not all) were more sensitive to pleasing me when it was our first round between the sheets. It improved the number of times I had an orgasm while having sex, but that was not getting me closer to what I needed to settle down with a single boyfriend. For that, I wanted a regular partner that I would love beyond sex while still getting sexually satisfied — if I were to settle down.
The Two-Boyfriends Solution to The Orgasm Gap
“I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I’m a pleaser, but it’s 50–50.” ~Nicki Minaj
Good for her! I went on a mission to achieve this 50–50 goal with boyfriends my age. My sexual adventures with old men were a totally different thing for me.
How I Ended Up With Two Boyfriends
Through my experimentation with ‘extra boyfriends,' I found myself going for repeat visits with one guy in particular. Let's call him Don.
I wasn't living with Brad. Nor with Don. So I could easily alternate between the two cocks. I was still living with my parents. So I was always the one visiting Don’s or Brad’s place to reduce the risk of a surprise visit by the other one.
I enjoyed it for about three months.
It had advantages. Before Don, I more regularly slept with Brad, either at my parent’s place or his. Once my body craved Don, I visited Brad only half the time. He seemed more excited to see me when I showed up. He was also more attentive to my sexual needs.
The same principle of 'rarity fosters attention' applied to Don. All in all, my ratio of sex-with-orgasm to sex-without-orgasm improved. And I was having fun experimenting, which has been a sexual motivator all my life. I’m a sex explorer!
But this arrangement also came with many disadvantages. For one, I had to stay clear of bringing any of them to family or friends' events. They both started wondering why. And more notably, for me, it didn't fully satisfy what I was looking for: coming as often as my regular, loving partner.
In reality, the most profound problem is that men come too easily and become pretty lethargic after the sperm shoots out. The obvious solution for me was to find a way to get these two penises in bed with me at the same time — all the time. Settling down with two cocks sounded better to me.
Getting My Two Boyfriends to Accept There's Another Guy
I decided to go for what I wanted while still young enough to enjoy it. I would not spend a lifetime of 20% satisfaction!
At that point, I could not choose between Brad and Don. They were both amazing guys and very complementary to each other, even to the tip of their penis! One was circumcised; the other one wasn't. One had oversized arms; the other one was always making me laugh. One was good with his tongue; the other one with his hands. And the list went on. You get the picture!
I figured I would break the news of what I had been doing and let the chips fall where they may. If one of them were to ditch me, the choice would be made for me. And if they both did, I would be sad, but… There were plenty of boys my age yearning for the blonde.
Besides, if they did not understand my needs, I would be better off letting them go and start hunting for men who could satisfy me or permanently stick with old men!
And I had crazy, sick fun with how I delivered the news!
In both cases, I explained it to them while I was sucking on their throbbing shaft—a couple of licks, a couple of sentences. Don’s face was something to watch! He wanted me to keep explaining what I was trying to say, pushing my head away — but then he couldn't stand it, reverting to pushing his penis back into my mouth. I managed to finish the gist of the story just before he shot his load onto my face. "I love you, babe!" was the end of my story.
Don was silent that night, but he still held me. He was the strong-arm guy!
Brad, on the other hand, ran out when it was his turn. He lost his sense of humor I loved so much. I was at his apartment, so I left.
It took a while for them to be ready for a follow-up discussion, but eventually, we talked. Since the problem was not related to love but to sex, I insisted that we always had these discussions while naked in bed. They both tried to bring the topic up on other occasions, but I refused to talk until we were naked. In my experience, a man rarely objects when you unzip his pants. And it's incredible how a man is so much more amenable to my ideas when I am entertaining their erection with my mouth or while sitting on them.
Yes! I can be persuasive with my mouth — in more ways than one.
Two Men & A Woman
Through these 'naked discussions' about the naked truth, it became matter-of-fact that I was sleeping with somebody else, which in itself was funny to me. They were both concerned about that one other guy while I was still having sex parties with old men! But they never knew about those.
In any case, I won the boys through time. Eventually, they behaved as if they accepted it, more by habit than anything else. I made it clear that love was not enough and that such an arrangement removed pressure on their shoulders — or their cock, should I say! Without it, I would grow frustrated, and we would end up in a terrible relationship.
The first time we had sex together, the three of us, was quite memorable for me. I insisted that they both commit to an entire weekend in a nice getaway resort in the wilderness. It took a while for them to get used to the other guy being in bed. We also had a few false starts when they ejaculate almost simultaneously — defeating the purpose of the deal. I learned to tease only one at a time. My favorite setup was for the second one to come to bed only after the first one ejaculated, standing on the sideline like a relief player in the meantime. That's a sports analogy they understood!
Unfortunately, outside the sheets, they didn't adapt too well to the other guy being in my life. They both kept their own apartment, and I had to insist on each one letting the other one in their place.
I Had Two Men to Please Me
I wanted to formalize this arrangement because I didn't want it to be a side thing forever. As I said, at the time, I was thinking long-term — influenced by what my girlfriends were doing with boys our age. So I tried convincing them both to pick an apartment where the three of us could move in — using the argument that we could enjoy each other more often and they both would save money. But they dragged their feet on that decision.
At least, when they were visiting the other guy’s place, I had more balls and more time during which a male erection was available. As a bonus, there seemed to be an unofficial competition between them on who pleased me the most. In sexual relation intensity, it was as if I had three boyfriends for the price of two!
Having their head between my legs to eat my juices and take care of my clitoris was no longer an exception; it was the norm. And I regularly got a full-body massage. One of the guys even bought a massage table, and then the other one did too!
I guess the constant sight of the second guy reminded them they had to please me. Perhaps they were afraid I would recruit a third one!
Conclusion: Women need more than one man, but a man should only have one girlfriend.
Women shouldn't have to go to the length I went to get there. It should be socially acceptable and normal for a woman to have two men. It is sexually right. It is better for women and men because a happy girlfriend is a happy life, they say!
Gays and lesbians are accepted in our society. They can marry. The next step is to make it work for women like me who like men and their penises. Two men living with one woman should not be frowned upon.
As you may have noticed, I did not use the word polygamist because polygamy can involve violence against women in many people's minds. There was nothing violent or imposed in our relationship. Furthermore, polygamy, technically, could apply equally to men and women. It shouldn't. I need more than one boyfriend to be sexually satisfied, but my men shouldn't have more than one girlfriend. They barely have enough stamina and erection time to fully satisfy one. If they were to try to please two women, we would be back to square one!
Some of you asked how it was going with Don and Brad. Well… It isn’t. I called it off and moved down to South Florida in a condo on the beach alone. The sex was okay, with two cocks at once. I maintain it makes sense for women to have two (or more) men. But they were both hinting at exclusivity again, expecting the other guy to disappear. Furthermore, some people in my hometown were making me feel like a freak. So I ran! My bad! But I have no regrets! Since then, I haven’t had another boyfriend. I continue to have a lot of fun with old men’s cocks! And I discovered how much I really, really enjoyed being used and shared as a sex pet with groups of hard cocks around me.
Thanks so much for supporting me as a writer and for your interest in my sex life. I often think of you when other men and women are using me. You are my motivation to try new things and push my limits!
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