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Abstract

re to meet when it’s a convenient time to enter into a focused relationship with them. This person is unlikely to be the person you live with long-term and raise a family with. The unexpected depth of our connection made some waves in our nesting partnerships, and it definitely took some time to iron things out but we finally did.</p><p id="6a30">James and I only see other people together, and so although I talked with Nat on my own, we only ever spent time with him together. There was never any jealousy or problems when we’d get together, but there were sometimes bumps in between as James learned to go from being the center of my world to having that focus be split. But ultimately what we all learned is that love is not a pie. There is an infinite amount available. Also, threesomes are a lot of fun, even if the men aren’t intimate with each other.</p><p id="3470">As different as we are, as much as we “do” life in different ways, Nat and I just get each other. There has always been this incredible level of acceptance and understanding. Our bond is beyond the romantic — it’s a soul-level connection. My relationship with James is also a soul-level connection, but it’s a different kind and serves a different purpose.</p><p id="1cb8">Even though we worked through a lot as far as the polyamory aspect, it was still challenging to feel so intensely for each other and to only be able to see each other every now and then. It’s taken a while but we’ve come to realize that if one of us is going through a lot of life, then the other one inevitably is also, which means that it’s hard to support each other on the surface level.</p><p id="ae88">We always support each other on the deep energetic level, but if you are used to having your love be right there by your side in tough times, then having one of your loves not be able to show up because they are dealing with their own crisis is difficult. After a particularly tough period of several dates that had to be canceled and a lot of stress in our respective worlds, we decided to part ways. It was incredibly painful but it seemed the only thing to do under the circumstances. It felt like what we needed to do for self-preservation, but you can’t ever truly escape the energetic connection and magnetic pull of your Twin Flame, whether you are together or not.</p><p id="fcb4">A few months after Nat and I broke up, James and I decided to move our family to the other side of the country. That was when the telepathic connection with Nat really began to make itself manifest. We had been in touch sporadically after we broke up, and I let him know that we were leaving the area. Once we moved, I could palpably feel him thinking about me, wishing us well and hoping that we were settling in OK in our new city. It was then that we started talking again more often because I figured if we were that much in touch energetically, we might as well do it in the temporal world as well.</p><p id="22dd">Several months later, we were still finding our way back to each other, not entirely sure what this relationship actually was at this stage. James and I went back East and we tried to get together, but once again, circumstances intervened at the last moment. I was beyond disappointed, but in retrospect, I think it was actually for the best. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to say goodbye again after being able to see and touch each other and look in each other’s eyes.</p><p id="81fb">Because our relationship no longer has a physical component, it means that all the other aspects have simply intensified, not unlike how when someone loses their sight and their sense of hearing and smell become magnified. Adding that physical component in again probably would have been really disruptive because of its intensity.</p><p id="7d26">Then about 15 months ago I stumbled onto something about the Twin Flame connection and suddenly this whole crazy thing had context. I don’t know why I’d never heard of it before, particularly since one of my closest confidants also has a Twin Flame connection. When I told her I’d finally figured out what was going on with Nat, she said, “I always thought that’s what it was.

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I thought I’d told you that already.” Um, no……. but I think that too was for a reason. We all have undergone a huge amount of personal growth while dealing with this unusual relationship. If we’d had a context earlier on, it might have been easier to just default to that, rather than to find our own way and simply have it confirmed.</p><p id="d101">Once I told Nat about it, he said, “This explains so much about us and the push and pull we’ve had with our relationship. Now it all makes sense.” Ever since that time, we’ve been partnered in a way that we weren’t even when we were seeing each other and talking every single day. I haven’t seen him in over two years. We only talk about twice a week and it’s mostly by text and email because when we talk on the phone I cry. It’s just a bit too intense to actually get to hear his voice.</p><p id="c3d0">I used to want to talk more frequently. I used to want him to be more available when I’m having a tough time. I used to long to see him. But what I’ve finally realized is that this is a connection that takes place outside of time and consensus reality. I miss him, sometimes painfully so, but when I tune into him on the deeper level he is always just right there — a constant source of unconditional love.</p><p id="ae0e">He’s always holding me in his heart even when he can’t respond to my message for another day or so. It’s been a real lesson in non-attachment based love. He has the parts of his life that aren’t about me; he has his work in the world and his other priorities, and none of that means that we aren’t incredibly deeply connected and in love.</p><p id="7c28">The other night he sent me a selfie. It’s not something he’s ever done before and it was taken while listening to the new album from a band that was important for us in our initial relationship. I loved receiving it, and at the same time, it’s a bit overwhelming. If we were to swim around in that passionate energy for too long, we’d become consumed by it and it would be disruptive to the rest of our lives.</p><p id="e433">Having stood in that fire together for a moment, it’s better for us both to back up from it for a bit. I’ll talk to him on Thanksgiving because we are a part of each other’s extended families, but then we’ll probably not speak again for several more days. And as much as I miss him, I really am OK with that.</p><p id="6189">This remarkable relationship has been such a blessing in my life, both as relates to Nat and as relates to my relationship with James. We’ve been through a lot, but we’ve come out stronger and healthier on the other side. You cannot seek a Twin Flame relationship. It shows up when you are ready, and even then, it’s challenging in the extreme. As beautiful as it is, I’m not sure I’d wish it on anyone. I continue to have to deal with my prior notions of what love and committed relationship look like, but I also continue to grow in love and understanding. It’s not easy, but it’s all good!</p><div id="5adf" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/navigating-a-twin-flame-relationship-fc62a4b75c50"> <div> <div> <h2>Navigating a Twin Flame Relationship</h2> <div><h3>What I’ve learned so far, most of it the hard way</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*BHlxb5-_IFZ9mSU7JCVEKA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8466" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/james-nat-and-me-5cd816ea2deb"> <div> <div> <h2>James, Nat and Me</h2> <div><h3>Sacred Sexual Connection and The Wide Variety of Polyamory Possibilities</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*nvtMEWOI90oL9-KMFGBz_A.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

My Twin Flame

Lessons In Enchanted Love

I was deeply in love with my husband of twenty years when I got, what I can only describe as the call, to go and find my Twin Flame. Of course, I didn’t understand that’s what it was at the time. I only began to learn about the Twin Flame connection just over a year ago, but when I did, suddenly a very intense and confusing couple of years, at last, began to make sense. In doing some of that initial research into this phenomenon I read something that said, “You might be living with your soul mate and then boom, you meet your twin flame.” That was what happened to me.

The Twin Flame connection is what I guess you’d call a metaphysical construct, but it’s one that fit our circumstances perfectly. Understanding that’s what was going on answered a lot of questions.

Meeting your Twin Flame will feel magical. You will feel drawn to them, and in many cases, you will feel like there’s nothing you want more than to be surrounded by their presence. And you don’t know why. They are not your type. Even if you don’t have a type, they are still not your type. There is no explanation to why you are drawn to them of all people.

The most important thing to note, when you do meet your Twin Flame for the first time. You will just know them. You know who they are even though you have never met.

I finally got up the courage to tell my husband that I was having this urge to bring another man into our lives. I thought it was just a sexual exploration urge but little did I know, that was only a small part of the equation. Fortunately, James was not only receptive but enthusiastic. He is my soul mate, after all. We were in an expansive phase in our relationship and this fit right in with that. His only caveat was that he wanted to find a woman to play with also, which we did. It took us a bit to find Nat, particularly since we didn’t know until we found him that we were looking for him, in particular. In the meanwhile, we started on our polyamory journey with a couple and a woman as play-partners.

If you took a single spiritual flame and split it in two, and then placed it into two souls who reincarnate together over and over again, this is a Twin Flame. It’s like being two sides of the same coin. You are very different in many ways, but you are also inexorably connected and the desire to be together is both primal and magnetic. This level of connection and pull to be together can be both intoxicating and overwhelming. It’s common for Twin Flames to move in and out of each other’s lives because it’s such an intense relationship that it’s tough to maintain. Not only is the connection intense, but the main purpose of your Twin Flame is to show you the places within yourself that need to heal. It’s not an easy relationship although it is wonderful in many ways.

Nat is not my type, in nearly every way you can imagine. My husband James is my type and we go about life in very similar ways. James is blonde and Nordic; Nat reminds me of a stereotypical lumberjack, with broad shoulders, a big hairy chest and dark hair. I’m from the city and he’s from the country. I’ve lived all over and he’s still in the same small town that he grew up in. He’s a quiet extrovert and I’m a social introvert. I’m emotional and effusive, while he is reserved and economical with his words, but when we kissed for the first time, it was like re-finding a missing part of myself. He bruised my lips because we wanted nothing more than to fuse back together. When we first met and were first together, we reconnected with someone we had always loved.

This is a beautiful and magical experience. It’s also somewhat complicated when you are both already pair-bonded with other people. And this is another hallmark of the Twin Flame connection. It’s rare to meet when it’s a convenient time to enter into a focused relationship with them. This person is unlikely to be the person you live with long-term and raise a family with. The unexpected depth of our connection made some waves in our nesting partnerships, and it definitely took some time to iron things out but we finally did.

James and I only see other people together, and so although I talked with Nat on my own, we only ever spent time with him together. There was never any jealousy or problems when we’d get together, but there were sometimes bumps in between as James learned to go from being the center of my world to having that focus be split. But ultimately what we all learned is that love is not a pie. There is an infinite amount available. Also, threesomes are a lot of fun, even if the men aren’t intimate with each other.

As different as we are, as much as we “do” life in different ways, Nat and I just get each other. There has always been this incredible level of acceptance and understanding. Our bond is beyond the romantic — it’s a soul-level connection. My relationship with James is also a soul-level connection, but it’s a different kind and serves a different purpose.

Even though we worked through a lot as far as the polyamory aspect, it was still challenging to feel so intensely for each other and to only be able to see each other every now and then. It’s taken a while but we’ve come to realize that if one of us is going through a lot of life, then the other one inevitably is also, which means that it’s hard to support each other on the surface level.

We always support each other on the deep energetic level, but if you are used to having your love be right there by your side in tough times, then having one of your loves not be able to show up because they are dealing with their own crisis is difficult. After a particularly tough period of several dates that had to be canceled and a lot of stress in our respective worlds, we decided to part ways. It was incredibly painful but it seemed the only thing to do under the circumstances. It felt like what we needed to do for self-preservation, but you can’t ever truly escape the energetic connection and magnetic pull of your Twin Flame, whether you are together or not.

A few months after Nat and I broke up, James and I decided to move our family to the other side of the country. That was when the telepathic connection with Nat really began to make itself manifest. We had been in touch sporadically after we broke up, and I let him know that we were leaving the area. Once we moved, I could palpably feel him thinking about me, wishing us well and hoping that we were settling in OK in our new city. It was then that we started talking again more often because I figured if we were that much in touch energetically, we might as well do it in the temporal world as well.

Several months later, we were still finding our way back to each other, not entirely sure what this relationship actually was at this stage. James and I went back East and we tried to get together, but once again, circumstances intervened at the last moment. I was beyond disappointed, but in retrospect, I think it was actually for the best. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to say goodbye again after being able to see and touch each other and look in each other’s eyes.

Because our relationship no longer has a physical component, it means that all the other aspects have simply intensified, not unlike how when someone loses their sight and their sense of hearing and smell become magnified. Adding that physical component in again probably would have been really disruptive because of its intensity.

Then about 15 months ago I stumbled onto something about the Twin Flame connection and suddenly this whole crazy thing had context. I don’t know why I’d never heard of it before, particularly since one of my closest confidants also has a Twin Flame connection. When I told her I’d finally figured out what was going on with Nat, she said, “I always thought that’s what it was. I thought I’d told you that already.” Um, no……. but I think that too was for a reason. We all have undergone a huge amount of personal growth while dealing with this unusual relationship. If we’d had a context earlier on, it might have been easier to just default to that, rather than to find our own way and simply have it confirmed.

Once I told Nat about it, he said, “This explains so much about us and the push and pull we’ve had with our relationship. Now it all makes sense.” Ever since that time, we’ve been partnered in a way that we weren’t even when we were seeing each other and talking every single day. I haven’t seen him in over two years. We only talk about twice a week and it’s mostly by text and email because when we talk on the phone I cry. It’s just a bit too intense to actually get to hear his voice.

I used to want to talk more frequently. I used to want him to be more available when I’m having a tough time. I used to long to see him. But what I’ve finally realized is that this is a connection that takes place outside of time and consensus reality. I miss him, sometimes painfully so, but when I tune into him on the deeper level he is always just right there — a constant source of unconditional love.

He’s always holding me in his heart even when he can’t respond to my message for another day or so. It’s been a real lesson in non-attachment based love. He has the parts of his life that aren’t about me; he has his work in the world and his other priorities, and none of that means that we aren’t incredibly deeply connected and in love.

The other night he sent me a selfie. It’s not something he’s ever done before and it was taken while listening to the new album from a band that was important for us in our initial relationship. I loved receiving it, and at the same time, it’s a bit overwhelming. If we were to swim around in that passionate energy for too long, we’d become consumed by it and it would be disruptive to the rest of our lives.

Having stood in that fire together for a moment, it’s better for us both to back up from it for a bit. I’ll talk to him on Thanksgiving because we are a part of each other’s extended families, but then we’ll probably not speak again for several more days. And as much as I miss him, I really am OK with that.

This remarkable relationship has been such a blessing in my life, both as relates to Nat and as relates to my relationship with James. We’ve been through a lot, but we’ve come out stronger and healthier on the other side. You cannot seek a Twin Flame relationship. It shows up when you are ready, and even then, it’s challenging in the extreme. As beautiful as it is, I’m not sure I’d wish it on anyone. I continue to have to deal with my prior notions of what love and committed relationship look like, but I also continue to grow in love and understanding. It’s not easy, but it’s all good!