My Sure-Fire Tip for Not Falling for Bullsh!t

So easy, you’ll be amazed

Friends, this is not a rant, well, maybe a tiny one, but merely my idea for helping the writers here, of which I am one, who are routinely underrated and ignored discover the “secret” that the experts tell us they have, but never seem to disclose. Oh, they pretend to want to help us, but we know better, do we not?

Lately, when it comes to my status here on Medium, after two long years, (I began in November of 2018), I’ve been digging deep, searching my soul, questioning my resolve, and trying to trust that the Universe will eventually shower me with the validation — and monetary remuneration — that so many writers here seem to enjoy. Many of them, utter hacks. “Content creators,” as opposed to writers.

Straight-up. Yes, I’m a writer because I love it but I’m signed on to make some money, too, as well as interact and learn from, other great writers. For those of you who are not concerned about your earnings, well, good on you. Although your time might be better spent working on the next “Ulysses.”

Even though, months ago, I told myself I wasn’t going to read the sludge-pile of success stories here, I changed my mind because, well, they provide fodder for stories like this one. And, some of them come close to a kind of low-level entertainment. Correction. I don’t actually read them. I skim them and without fail, they all contain the same, tired “intel.” From writers who are either hawking useless courses and “workshops” or have their heads stuck so far up their own asses, they see the world as upside down.

The how-to writers that I appreciate, and there are a handful, are those who explain, and give examples of ways we can make money outside of Medium. That, I find refreshing, as I don’t spend much time on my personal blog anymore, or on sussing out other platforms similar to this one.

Here’s what I want to do with this piece. Fire you up and make you mad. Many of you already are, as well as puzzled and extremely, head-bangingly frustrated. Why, when you work so hard and are so good at your craft, are you never curated? Forget curation, though because now, that doesn’t seem to matter. More importantly, why are you making pennies? Why are your stories never trending, nor, go viral? The “Big V.” That’s the money shot, right there.

And now, as if the competition here wasn’t sufficiently fierce, we have to contend with “celebrities” like Chrissy Teigen and Jerry Seinfeld who recently “wrote” and published stories here. I put “wrote” in quotes because I doubt either of them wrote a word. That’s what their publicists are for. While we toil away, all they have to do is breathe on their keyboards, and voila! They garner thousands and thousands of followers. How is that even possible? Well, it is, and it sucks.

That brings up an interesting thought. Are you and I “celebrities,” just by the virtue of our writing here? You know, the visibility and all that crap? Let me think a second…hell no.

I ask myself these questions all the time and I’m still grappling for answers. Oh, I can surmise what could be going on…chalk it up to luck and favoritism by the editors here for a certain ilk of writer. The formulaic ones, who pump out story after story that, mysteriously, all seem to be about the same thing! That must be a skill in and of itself.

One writer in particular who I’m thinking about toggles back and forth from singing his own praises and bragging about his success here, to telling us how we can do the very same thing. How? By writing great “content!”

Well, gee willikers, why didn’t I think of that? And all along I thought it was about writing crap.

Here’s my “tip.” We need to hold this writer’s feet to the fire and the feet of those like him. If you read these individuals, don’t take their words at face value.

For example, we’ve been told, and continually, about the writer here who has earned over $49,000. Imagine that, people! What could that amount of money do for you, for your life and that of your family’s? It would be a hell of a big deal for me, I can tell you that. I’d finally be able to pay off my dentist, for one thing! Make some improvements around the old homestead. My biggest payout? $118. In. Two. Years.

Who is this big-money writer? Do we know? Perhaps I’m being remiss and he or she has made an appearance. Shown themselves. If so, please share the writer’s name with me. Too, I want to see the stories this person writes so I can finally understand what it takes to “make it” on Medium. Because, at this juncture, I’m clueless.

There is a certain amount of secrecy about the people who are cashing in, and big. Why shouldn’t we know who they are and how they do it? Oh, we know a few of their names but I’m talking about the writers behind the curtain who are actually making a hell of a good living, here.

I’ve been beating my brains out in an attempt to write “authentically,” and now I see this as a huge fuck-up. No one cares. The majority of readers want the “Five Things You Should Be Doing When You Go to the Toilet,” stories.

Hey, I think I’ll write that. Stay tuned.

Numbers in story titles are apparently, very big, too. They attract readers like flies on Trump. Who knew?

So, my number one “tip” is that we start asking questions and demanding answers from these know-it-alls. Call them out on their ridiculous advice to “just keep writing.” Or to “write what people want to read.” Or to stand on our heads and break wind before we sit down at our computers.

And, this is just my opinion, but don’t buy any courses. From anyone. That’s a sucker move and I believe you're going to get nothing back but heartache and an empty checkbook. There’s a little thing called Google where you can find out about damn near anything. Or spend a few bucks on Stephen King’s memoir, On Writing and pick up some tips, there. But bear in mind, he’s not a “content creator.” He’s a writer.

Okay, what do you say? Let’s start pushing back. As I said, we don’t actually have to read the hacks’ stories. A quick skim is enough. And we can keep it cool, you know? We don’t have to be disrespectful although admittedly, I’d like to lay into a few of these “scribes.” But as you know, I would never do that. Except when I’m really riled up.

So, that’s my tip for today, folks. Let’s start calling out the experts on their BS. Let’s ask the deeper questions and as I said, hold their feet to the fire. I doubt we’ll learn anything of real value, but maybe, we’ll start seeing less “great content” clogging up our feeds. And have a little fun in the process. Something we can all use.

© Sherry McGuinn, 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

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