My Silent War with Grief and Depression
Is It Time for My Surrender?
Hiding in plain sight,
Lurking
In the vacuum
Of my loss,
Where my heart used to be,
Waiting to pounce.
Sweeping me off my feet
In a sudden
Like a hurricane
Without notice or warning
Twisting my senses
Like a tornado
Turned tsunami
With no respect for privacy.
I lash out
Fighting, Kicking, Punching.
An enemy Unseen
From within me.
It pauses and feigns;
A prelude to Pain,
Unbearable, immobilizing, numbing
Pain, just pure plain undiluted Pain.
Pain and grief
Swarm me in waves
After waves,
Relentless, Crippling, Choking
In seas of depression.
Drowning, I cry out aloud with deafening silence;
Reaching out, shouting words without sound,
Tears fell in voluminous torrents
As they rip through into my very soul
Sucking every ounce of my life,
Its vortex sapping
Every drop of
Purpose.
I lay down;
My heart is stony,
My sorrow is weary,
I am tired,
My end is near.
Voices have ceased
And I am alone;
Is it time to surrender?
I smile,
For it to be over, I hope.
Hoping to embrace my beloved
Once more, and forever.
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