Reviews | Fiction Writing

My Review of ‘Crisis’ by CathyLouise

A vampire post-apoc web-novel

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a post-apocalyptic world? What about a world stalked by vampires?

In Crisis, Cathylouise gives us both at once!

Though she is only a few chapters in, it’s a remarkably compelling tale so far. Here are my chapter-by-chapter comments:

Prologue

I am quite an impatient reader, and would often rather get on with the main story than read a prologue. Perhaps for that reason, this was my least favorite chapter of the four so far.

There’s no doubt that Cathy tells us about some relevant global issues (war, plague, etc), and their aftermath in a way that sets the scene. It’s certainly well described and summarised, too. She is a terrific writer, and I enjoyed several passages, for example:

In the decades to follow humanity would be brought to the edge of extinction, through desperation it would learn to survive on what it could forage and what it could hunt.

However, some it could probably have been cut. Also, there wasn’t much that suggested this was going to be a vampire story, besides the above reference to hunting. As I commented at the time:

This is certainly a very intriguing set-up to a post-apoc story or perhaps more of a sci-fi or urban fantasy!

My comment suggests that the genre didn’t quite land, and this could be something for Cathy to consider when editing.

Chapter 1: Just Another Post Apocalyptic Day

The first main chapter is probably my favorite overall. It takes us right into the action, following a vampire hunter named Jade:

Jade crouched, hidden in the shadows, waiting. She had been there, in the same position since sunset. Jade knew it was out there somewhere; its lust and need growing stronger as the night went on.

We get straight into an action scene which is both gruesome and thrilling, and then get some further clues about Jade herself. She is a:

…a full member of the state…

but we also hear:

How much worse would it be if they knew what she really was. Her true nature was hidden, known only to the consortium and a few trusted individuals…

I found this chapter very compelling!

Chapter 2: Realizations and Bloody Dreams

This chapter follows on from Jade’s hunt, later the same day. Unsurprisingly, she needs to take a shower and assess her injuries. Again, we get some indications that as a vampire hunter, Jade is not ‘normal’:

Even as I examined each site, the worst of it began to fade. Skin began to knit together as the blood washed away, and the purples turned slowly green to only faded yellow by the next nightfall. The cracked rib, which made an ear-shattering grating sound as I turned, would take longer. Bones took a couple of days to heal, even for me, and it would be painful as the fragments knitted themselves back together.

We also find that Jade is working for someone, and she must make contact:

I booted up my computer and waited for it to whirl slowly into life. It was an early twenty-first-century model, one of the few that survived.

These details suggest to me there is plenty of scope here to clue up the reader about the world as it has become. We also get some great characterisation, learning that Jade is struggling psychologically in some as-yet unexplained way.

Overall this was a strong chapter, though I was a little confused about why it had switched to a 1st person narrative after the 3rd person which was used in Chapter 1.

Chapter 3: Three Waking Nightmares and the Fight to Come

This chapter sees the introduction of a new character, Barret. Apparently, he is one of the people that Jade has been working for when she hunts:

Barret made himself comfortable on the sofa while Jade collected the bounty from the previous night’s encounter. She would keep the credits, they were untraceable, but he would need to be careful with the rest.

Again, we get some insightful details about the world, with information about money, the police, and more coming through the lens of how stolen goods can be dealt with.

There is a further important interaction between the pair, but I’ll avoid spoilers by not describing that here!

This chapter also has a lengthy flashback, around half of the chapter overall, in which we see how Jade learned from her mentor. This gives us some useful detail, but personally I would have preferred this to be a separate chapter, or perhaps referred to in conversation rather than as a daydream.

Overall, I didn’t like this chapter quite as much as chapters 1 & 2, but it did move the story along in important ways. The descriptions of the setting and of fight scenes continues to be gritty and compelling.

To sum up…

I really like Cathy’s writing, and I think that a vampire story definitely suits her style. She doesn’t shy away from graphic details of gore and violence. The settings in these chapters draw us in, too, and has a suitably gothic feel while also being futuristic.

If I was to change anything, it would be a bit of restructuring, diving more directly into the action, and perhaps feeding in the details about the world and the character’s history more gradually. It would be very effective to begin with the hunt sequence from chapter 1. The flashback scene from chapter 3 could be a separate chapter, and might actually work as a prologue.

It was slightly frustrating to not have a clearer grasp of Jade’s abilities and background… but mystery is certainly not a bad thing at this stage in the story. It keeps us reading!

Overall, I think this has the potential to be a really good novel. Cathy, I hope you keep writing — there is a great story shaping up here.

Thanks for reading! Have you written a web-novel on Medium? Consider submitting it for a review, in line with these guidelines!

And before you go, you can find my articles about creative writing here. I also write fiction on Medium — check out some examples in this list! And if you are yet to join Medium, considering supporting my work by signing up with my referral link, right here. Thank you so much! 🌟