My Quest for the Perception of Beauty
And Why I Don’t Want a Membership at the “Sea to Lake Resort”
Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The perception of beauty is a moral test.” Boy, howdy, we’ve had a week just chock-full of opportunities to practice perceiving beauty. The first time I heard of what would become the major event of a Gift that keeps on Giving. It was himself doing a Mitty-esque parody of a dictator claiming he had discovered the crime of the century. The Federal Police (cleverly camouflaged as Bureaucrats) were currently, I assumed, raping and pillaging their way through the Sacred Castle known as “Sea to Lake” and his person was being victimized by these self-same vandals. Oh my. Then I considered the source of this Orwellian outpouring. And then I said to myself, “Boy, this is gonna be good.”
Having been raised on a steady diet of The Old Farmer’s Almanac I have to be attentive to words that
may well have bubbled up out of Walden’s Pond. So I started to look for what was beautiful in that pile of used horse hay. It took a bit of time, but then I found it. He had done himself in. It’s like he had to screw it up so Daddy could come rescue him. I doubt that really happened (or could) but he clearly had to do it. What I didn’t understand was this was a tidal wave of nefariousnesses. Over the next few days I truly struggled to find beauty in the criminal nefariousness which could only originate at the infamous Sea to Lake Resort and Lost Boy’s Club. A heavy weight began to lift off my shoulders. Could it be that Pinocchio had bet more than he could afford to lose?
Then, the first real sign that this was big time serious stuff and that it definitely was not about planted evidence, political castigation nor even the feared RINO’s revenge. Nope, this was about a spat between himself and some obscure agency named something like “National Archives” or something. But all the GOP talking heads were talking but they were all losing their minds or marbles or something. They were pretty het up, I could see that alright. But what had given them such an angry rash? Then someone let it slip that this was really about Top Secret stuff, somehow related to nuclear stuff. That couldn’t be good. I was beginning to doubt my morality.
And then… Ag Garland stepped up to a mic and more or less told the assembled throng, “Yo, Red Bois. ‘Member when I was nominated for the Supreme Court Nomination and you lot wouldn’t even put it up for a vote? No? Well, I do.” Then he said, “Pinocchio, I do so hope you play poker because this is what we call, calling your bluff.” And with that short statement Ag told the world that he was no longer protecting Pinocchio’s behind or privacy. When I heard that I turned into an internet meme. I fell out of my chair while saying “Daaamn.”
The next wave in the tsunami was cold like the afternoon before a snowfall. A cold that chills to the bone no matter what you wear. What the bureaucrats picked up from the Sea to Lake Resort and Lost Boys Club were documents that are dangerous to even touch. These documents are so sensitive that you can’t even read them or discuss them outside a room which has blocked all possible listening channels. To hear what those documents say would make your ears bleed. And Pinocchio had them in his basement. Remember, this took place in August but I was so cold I went in and lit a fire in the fireplace and stood with my back to the fire until the rivets in my jeans were nearly red hot. There was something wrong with my mojo, it was out of whack.
But the worst was yet to come. I remembered a couple of video clips of Pinocchio denying that he had any ties to Russia during the run-up to that election where he won. And Michael Cohen admitting that he was, in fact, in Russia negotiating for a Tower in Moscow proper at the same time of Pinocchio’s denial. Then I remembered how Pinocchio celebrated with the Russians after he fired Jimmy B for not kissing the ring. Then I remembered Pinocchio holding a press conference where Johnny Lemire asked Pinocchio if he believed Vlad more than his own spies and he pretty much said he did. Oof. But would Himself sell American Nuclear technology to the Russians? Umm, he owes a big bunch of money to a big bunch of folks with bad tempers…. and he’s on the hook for all of it personally. Add that in with his legal problems and his dwindling support and you betcha he would sell America out. It would serve it right for not electing him. I don’t think Pinocchio sees beauty in much of anything at all.
Still the programming of my youth called loudly for me to find a way to perceive beauty in all this lightly processed fertilizer. At first I thought of the Red Nosed Sycophants and how they must be relieved to be allowed to dismount from the Long Nosed Political Elephant they had all been riding. Now those folks must surely be relieved to have a righteous road out of a very rocky piece for them. Then I thought of those rode hard and put away wet blue donkeys on the other side of the aisle. Kind of looks like November came in early August this year. I thought, “Golly, that covers just about everyone in the House and the Senate both Federal and State as well as lots and lots of local folks working for city or town or county governments. Well maybe not The Honorable R. Paul II.” It is hard to make a name for yourself when you come in second all the time.
Then I thought about the parts of the equation that were not going to be so beautiful but I managed to wrest one beautiful event in that coming wave of the tsunami. I can see how Marge will have to withdraw from the spotlight for the ridicule she’ll bring down on herself. The silence will be glorious. But there is no doubt that the road to that peaceful quiet runs through the Town of Resolution where the elephants and the donkeys never see eye to eye on anything, but they Agree to use common sense to find a resolution that addresses concerns of both unique species. Then I had a Nixon-induced consideration. I think I once heard that Hell hath no fury like unto that of an electorate of people you’ve fooled. But then I thought, it must be cathartic for Pinocchio because I can not imagine the guilt I would carry around if I had misled people about masks, vaccinations and Covid in general so that some of my most ardent supporters died. That would be a lot of water to carry. I don’t think that tiger is going to change his stripes or anything, but he is a human tiger after all. I heard a story once about some tigers that got to feeling all unity and got into a ring around the rosy until they turned into butter that made a certain stack of pancakes memorable. But that’s just a story. But it would be a beautiful ending to this tsunami of bone chilling news, at least I would welcome finding such beauty, wouldn’t you?