Medium Referral program

My One and Only Referred Member

Please, don’t go

My dear, precious referred member.

You came to me this August.

I’ve been adding this stupid ending to my stories, join medium with my referral link and blah blah blah, every single time for almost a year. Nothing happened. In August, I stopped doing it. I learned that as of September, the referral thing is no longer a thing, so I felt an immense relief. To keep putting this stupid invitation that sounded like, please, come to my house, or I’ll shoot you, had been causing me a lot of emotional discomfort.

And then, all of a sudden, here you are.

You have a strange name that I can’t even remember, you probably come from a country I don’t know very well. You must have read one of my oldest stories and God knows why, decided to use my stupid, miserable referral link.

You came into my stats and added two dollars to my income.

The two dollars were a nice thing. Much nicer, however, was the feeling of acknowledgment.

All of my efforts were finally rewarded. I pleaded, demanded, threatened, and voila, I have a guest.

How much dearer to me you are as I know you’ll be the only one I’ll ever have.

Oh, how I’ll treat you! Come, sit, my long-expected guest, I’ll say. Here, try my coffee. Don’t be shy, sip at it. Delicious, isn’t it? How about the tapestries on the walls, I embroidered all of them. Pick one, it’s for free. Would you care for a sweet? These cookies are fantastic, it’s a family recipe. I might share it with you if you want.

If you’re exhausted, or too hot, you can take a shower. I bought new fluffy towels. If you’d like to take a nap after your shower, you can do that too. I’ve put a brand-new mattress on my guest bed.

My house is all yours until you decide to leave.

If you do so, unfortunately, I won’t be able to find a new guest. My life will continue to be that of an old grumpy spinster living in a luxurious home. But it’s okay.

I’ll still have the memories of an accomplished love.

If you want to read more about my love-hate relationship with Medium, just click here,

Thank you!