My Little Shadow: Chapter 5

Not everyone who comes to your door needs to be invited in

Mama?

I woke with a start. A shadow stood in the bedroom doorway, urgency leaching from its presence, compelling me to sit up and take notice. Thinking it was Rudy, I began to panic.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” I sat up and reached out in a hug to him when he didn’t answer. “What happened?”

The shadow stood still. Didn’t move or answer my questions, then took one tentative step into my room before turning and walking out.

Housecoat in hand, I struggled my way into it as I followed the shadow down the stairs. I sensed it looking back to me, confirming I was following their lead, speeding up when they reached the bottom step. Confident it wasn’t one of my kids now, I gave myself permission to relax. I reached out, hoping my hunch was correct.

Is everything okay, little one?

The shadow turned to look at me once more, anxiety emanating from it. Fear and uncertainty. Apprehension and panic. My waking mind bombarded with the negative, worrisome emotions.

Entering the dark kitchen, another shadow on the back deck caught my attention. California shutters over the sliding doors were closed, but I knew the shadow waited for his invitation into my home. He would be waiting a very long time.

Throat closed in dread, I licked my lips. I didn’t know who was out there, but I knew he needed to say far away from my family.

I looked from my little shadow to the darkness outside my home. Concealed anger boiled beneath its surface. There was a real connection between the two shadows, like a tether holding them together. In that instant, I recognized she was his ‘in’ to my home.

Sorry, little one, but he is NOT welcome in my home. I don’t want him here.

A wave of anger crashed into the house, shaking it to its metaphysical core. Hands up in a defensive stance, I blocked it, hurtling it back to the shadow it originated from.

You may NOT enter my home. You may leave, now. Do not come back again, Sir PeePeeHead.

With no introduction, I named the shadow, engorged with negative energy. Its new name, one all its own, was meant to diffuse the power he attempted to exert over me. A spirit bully, I hoped bestowing the more than fitting name of Sir PeePeeHead on him would help tame his power.

As he stood looking in at me, hatred and anger rolling off of him in waves, I realized it only fuelled his ire.

It was up to me to stand up to him. He was unaware of the monster he was tickling the tail of. I had a family to protect from him. Protect them I would.

Attention back on my little shadow friend in the kitchen, I tried to reassure her, but it was difficult to breach the wall of fear between her and Sir PeePeeHead. She turned to face me, pleading with me to let him in. Worried and begging, her eyes told me she needed him to have access so she wouldn’t get hurt.

Maternal love washed over me and I feared for her, but I knew he needed to be kept away.

I’m sorry, love, but he cannot come in here. My priority is to protect my family from him and whatever he wants to do to them. I can still help you cross over and find your family, if you want. Let me know when you’re ready.

My little shadow friend quivered as she looked out at the spirit on the deck. Real fear, anxiety, and apprehension vibrated within her. No idea who this spirit was to her, but I did understand her fear of it was very plain and very real.

I needed to work my way past that fear and help her, if she’d let me.

Ding Dong

Woof Woof Woof BOOF

Bogey answered the door first the next day, sending the delivery guy stumbling back a step or two as his front paws hit the door right in front of the man’s face.

“Bogey, that’s enough. Quiet now.” The hand command I used settled Bogey quicker than my words did. A calm, quiet boy sat nice beside me as I opened the door to find a gift basket held out at arm’s length. I took it from the delivery man only to have a small clipboard and pen thrust at me.

“Delivery for Sarah Hawkins. Sign here, please.”

I scritched my name onto the delivery slip and thanked him as the door clicked shut. Once the basket was on the kitchen table, I read the card in surprise.

Sarah, I spoke to Mom. Surprising answers. Will fill you in on Thursday. Thank you, as always. Love, Wendy

My eyes widened as I unpacked the decadent feast of things to spoil myself with. As always, Wendy was overly generous in her praise and thanks. I discovered chocolates, organic herbal tea, my favourite red wine, gluten-free biscuits, and scented candles in the basket, along with two books I’d been lusting after.

I shook my head and sent her a thank you text. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if she hadn’t come into my life. She was a good influence on me, in more ways than one, and I appreciated her more than she realized.

A chocolate covered cherry melted on my tongue, setting off all my taste buds at once. With a deep breath, I settled at my desk and got back to work.

Thursday can’t come quick enough. I want to hear what happened with her mother.

Over the next several days, as I waited for Wendy’s next session, I paid close attention to everything about my little houseguest. It amused me to observe her watching me, interacting with the kids, and just being a member of our family and home.

It didn’t matter where in the house I was or what I was doing, she was right there with me. If I was too busy to pay attention to her, she went off with Geordie or one of the kids. She felt young, immature, which illustrated how she saw herself more than who she was in life.

The girl was interested in everything we did. She was right there, no matter what we did with the kids. Her intense, limitless curiosity goading her along as she tried to make sense of things.

Her energy told me she had been older than who she presented to me when she died. It was that discrepancy, and the reasons behind it, that concerned me. They were the means by which Sir PeePeeHead, the negative energy, kept her tethered to him.

Sir PeePeeHead continued to stalk my family and our home. No matter which window I looked out of, he was there. Watchful. Patient. Biding his time. He knew an opportunity to attack us would present itself. It was only a matter of time.

Gah! That sounds insane, even to me! Sean! Help me figure this out, will you? I need to get past this energy and get it gone, while still helping this poor young thing find peace. Any suggestions?

Sean, my spiritual guardian, had been with me my whole life. Some would call him my guardian angel. He’d held my hand through some of my most difficult moments and celebrated my best ones with me. My life would have been infinitely more difficult without him by my side. Now I needed him again. He didn’t disappoint me.

Well, you need to look at this girl and see if you can see her for who she was in life. Who can help you with that?

Sean’s words struck a chord. I knew how to wade through her fear and help her help herself.

Oh, that does help. Thanks, Sean. Makes perfect sense. I know what I need to do now. You’re the best.

Sean smiled. He loved it when I praised him, knowing I didn’t mete out praise indiscriminately. He also knew how much I appreciated him and that I lacked direction in my life without him. I knew it, too.

My trustworthy guardian went back to what he’d been doing as I began to plan my strategy. Waiting for my moment to arrive would test my patience.

If you wish to keep reading, check out the next chapter here:

To go back to the beginning, check out Chapter 1 here: