My Little Shadow: Chapter 6

Truth has a way of meeting the bright light of day

Thursday morning dawned, sunny and warm. I hopped out of bed before my alarm chimed, ready for Wendy’s arrival.

Her gift basket got put to good use as I waited for her arrival. Candles were lit. Tea steeped. Homemade blueberry muffins were fresh from the oven.

My energy was flying high. Excitement and anticipation for a record-setting session this morning ran through my veins. The Universe rewarded me for my patience.

“Hey Wendy. Come on in.”

Wendy handed me a pack of incense as she closed the door behind her. It was the good stuff, too. White sage from the West Coast.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, Wendy, but I love this stuff, so thank you.” I savoured the scent through the packaging before placing it on the desk as we entered the office.

We found our usual spots, enjoying some chitchat, a muffin, and a cup of tea, as we settled into our session. Distracted by Wendy’s energy, as excited and energized as my own, my mind wandered to what happened during our previous session.

Mug bonking down onto the table, my half-eaten muffin on the saucer beside it, I dusted my hands off and tucked my feet up under me. I nodded and winked at Wendy, who shook her head and chuckled.

It was time.

“Okay. We’ve waited long enough, Wendy.” Arms crossed, I prodded her along. “Let’s hear it. How did things go with your Mom?”

She sat back, laughing. “We’ve waited long enough, have we?” She finished her muffin, torturing me with her slow, deliberate bites. Palms wiped down her denim-clad thighs, she grinned as she began her story.

“Well, my dad… Joseph… plays golf with a group of his buddies on Saturday mornings. Has for years. While he plays golf, I take Mom out for breakfast. It’s our weekend treat. We go to our favourite low-key, quiet breakfast place, Millie’s Munchies, which is a local family-owned diner walking distance to their place. We’ve been going there for years.” Wendy’s brilliant smile showed how much she relished dragging out the story-telling process. “It’s like going to your special Aunt’s house for brunch. The look on Mom’s face when I unpacked my mp3 recorder, a notebook and some pens and laid them out on the table between us. She had no idea what to expect. Don’t think she knew what to make of it all, to be honest.”

Wendy took a sip of her tea before continuing her story. “I filled Mom in on what happened last week, with Auntie Agnes’… I mean, my grandmother’s… visit. Still weird for me to say that, you know?” I nodded my agreement and she carried on with recounting her visit with her Mom. “Mom’s known all about our sessions from the beginning, but I could never tell Dad. He wouldn’t understand it, accept it or condone it. I made sure to ‘forget’ to mention it to him. Every week.” Wendy grinned as she put air-quotes around ‘forgot.’ “Mom told she’s seen a difference in me over the time I’ve been seeing you. My boys have, too. Hell, even my ex-husband, who never noticed anything in twenty years of marriage, recognized the difference in me.” She shrugged, a look of loving resignation on her face. “I don’t want to think I was that bad, but I do have to thank you for that, Sarah. And for bringing me back to myself. There is a huge difference in the way I see and carry myself, and in my mediumship abilities.”

I had to agree. Wendy really had come a long way from the woman I’d first met in the YMCA locker room. Mousy, anxious, wallflower was a less than polite way of calling out her shy, reserved demeanour. There is no way I’d use any of those words to describe her now.

“You’ve helped guide me along my life’s journey, developing my abilities and building my confidence to such an extent I am now considering major life changes.”

I couldn’t contain the smile brought on by her words. Eyebrows raised in a silent question about what those changes might be. Her face lit up before bursting into laughter. “I know, right? It’s insane, but I’m thinking about moving to the East Coast and heading back to school. Kevin has a small guest house on his property I could live in. Then I could answer the call from the Master of Divinity course at Acadia Divinity College. It’s been calling me since I audited those classes.” Overcome by emotion, Wendy stopped to collect herself. “This new path is all down to you, your guidance, support, and encouragement, Sarah. It’s all been you.”

I reached across the coffee table to grasp her hand. “You do realize you aren’t the only one who has learned and grown since we began working together, right?” I swallowed the emotion welling up in my throat. “You helped me every bit as much as I helped you, Wendy. I don’t see what I would have done without our sessions.”

Stunned, Wend told me she’d never thought about whether her sessions helped me, too. A chuckle escaped me at the look on her face.

“It was a good day when you approached me at the pool, you know. We both needed these sessions, we just didn’t know how much at the time.” Our eyes met over the rim of my mug, understanding and affection passing between us.

“Well, it’s been a good thing for both of us, that’s for sure. It’s been a wonderful experience.” She sipped her now-lukewarm chamomile tea. “Anyway, Mom seemed skeptical when I first told her about Grandma Agnes’ visit. Until I started to tell her things I shouldn’t have known. Like Dad not being my biological father. Or my biological father’s name. There was no way I could have known anything about Patrick Walsh.” Sadness tinged the faraway look that moved into her eyes. “She cried and told me she hadn’t wanted to lie to me, but Dad assured her it was the only way to deal with the situation. He persuaded her the truth would confuse me, as would continuing to have Grandma Agnes in my life. He had Mom cut Grandma Agnes out of our lives to perpetuate the lies.”

Bogey, asleep on his bed, pried one eye open with a groan. Head up and cocked to one side, he watched the office door from the corner. Someone caught his attention. I sensed my little shadow friend. She was drawn to Wendy.

With some effort, I pried my eyes from the doorway and turned back to Wendy and her tale of family discovery.

“Mom and I talked about how Dad was the guy who would be jealous of my biological father and any connection to him. That’s why he wanted Grandma Agnes out of our lives. And why all the pictures of Patrick Walsh were destroyed. Well, Dad ordered Mom to destroy them. She refused.” Wendy chuckled and shook her head as her mother’s words came back to her. “She told Dad she did as he asked and destroyed them. Instead, she hid them in an old tampon box. Dad would never have looked there for anything. He’s far too manly to ever go near one of those.”

Wendy snorted, miming her father being too manly to look at women’s hygiene products. This is what I loved about us, we could joke and it was all good.

“I also found out my mother, the rebel, had sent Grandma Agnes letters and pictures, updates on my life, until her death in 1989. She watched me grow up from a distance, which wasn’t what Mom wanted, but she didn’t know how to go against Dad.” Wendy stared out the window, lost in thought. It was obvious this new information on her family both troubled and intrigued her.

“Mom never spoke up against Dad. Ever. He got away with loads when I was a kid. Things I’d never have let Fred get away with during our marriage.” The look she gave me told me what she thought of her Dad and his antics. “When Grandma Agnes wrote her will, she left her entire estate to me. Mom never told Dad. She had Grandma Agnes to get her lawyer to put it all into a trust fund for me, payable when I was forty-five, which is actually this year.”

A shimmer appeared beside Wendy as she spoke. Grandma Agnes materialized within the shimmer, perching on the arm of Wendy’s chair, listening to her tale. Wendy touched one hand to where Grandma Agnes dropped a kiss to the top of head, smiling. Grandma Agnes smoothed her dress and added her part to Wendy’s story.

Deirdre, Wendy’s mother, didn’t want Joseph to get his hands on my estate. She wanted the extra time to tell Wendy the truth. That’s why she suggested the payout of the trust fund be Wendy’s forty-fifth birthday. Deirdre wanted to make sure Wendy knew who she was and where she came from so she could appreciate the inheritance better. I understood that, but I missed my girl so much. I’d always wished things had worked out differently with Joseph. Agnes’ eyes turned to her granddaughter. I missed so much . It thrilled me to leave Wendy a nest egg like that. It was my way of taking care of her long after I was gone. The possibility of Joseph having any influence over my money or how she spent it infuriated me. Deirdre didn’t have to waste any time convincing me to structure my will the way I did.

“Wendy, Grandma Agnes stopped in to visit.” Nodding to our guest, I passed her message along to her granddaughter, closing out with a final comment. “She hated the thought of Joseph having influence over her money or how you spent it. It was her way of taking care of you long after she was gone.”

Wendy giggled. “That was what Mom said, that it was Grandma Agnes’ way of taking care of me long after she was gone.” She took a moment to swallow the emotion closing her throat. “Thank you, Grandma Agnes. I’m sorry Dad was so horrible to you. If only we’d been allowed to have a relationship. I look back now and see how I missed you and didn’t even realize it.”

Grandma Agnes leaned in and hugged her beloved Wendy. Without understanding why, Wendy sank into her embrace and smiled. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment.

I’m off now, Sarah. Please tell Wendy I am never far away, should she ever need me. Thank you for your help. With a kiss to Wendy’s cheek and a nodded goodbye to me, Grandma Agnes left us.

I passed the farewell on to Wendy, who told me more of her visit with her mother.

“So, on the 18th of next month, my forty-fifth birthday, I get my inheritance from Grandma Agnes. She just confirmed what Mom told me about wanting me to know who I was and what happened before receiving the inheritance. It’s not been easy for Mom to get to this point, though. She said she’s been afraid I would get angry and turn my back on her if I knew the truth.” Wendy gave a rueful shake of her head. “I’m glad Grandma Agnes dropped in last week, and just now. I’ve learned so much family history recently. It’s been great.”

A moment of contemplative silence became five. I took those moments to study Wendy and reflect back on the sessions we’d had together, and how far she’d come from the woman who first walked into my office. Still worried about how her actions affected those she cared about, she put her own needs ahead of others more often now. She was finally a priority. I was damn proud of her and who she was allowing herself to grow into.

Ready to soldier on, Wendy acknowledge how big of a burden her mother carried for so long. “Mom had a load taken off her shoulders last week, Sarah. She was able to share stories of my father, Patrick, with me. He was her first love, the love of her life, and, although she loves my Dad, she never recovered from losing Patrick. She just got good at pushing it all down inside her heart.”

Hands cupping her cooling mug, she sipped her tea and told me, “I wish I remembered him, Patrick, but I’m glad I had the Dad I did, too. Never doubted my Dad’s love for me. I always knew he only wanted what was best for me, but this whole thing is a lot to process, you know?” A breathy chuckle accompanied a roll of her eyes. “It’s been an emotional week but I’m glad to be in on the secret now.”

‘Emotional week’ was one way of describing the turmoil Wendy endured this past week. As difficult as letting the proverbial cat out of the bag was for her and her mother, the change in Wendy was noticeable.

She stood taller. Her step was lighter. Eyes much brighter. These revelations couldn’t have come at a better point in her life. The crossroads she found herself at, the changes she was planning in her heart, they were easier to bear now that her family was settling down.

“Sarah, Mom warmed up to the thought of Grandma Agnes dropping in quicker than I thought she would. By the time we finished brunch, I’d heard every story Mom knew about Grandma Agnes or my father. It was a great day.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I have you to thank for that. Without you, I would still be in the dark and never have met my grandmother. Or heard anything about my father.”

I knew Agnes would have taken whatever steps were necessary to bring Wendy into the light, so to speak, about her father. It was important to know where you came from, who ‘your people’ were. Now Wendy knew it all. It was what she needed.

“You’re welcome, Wendy.” I munched the last bite of my muffin, blushing a little at the praise. It warmed my heart when I heard stories where the messages I deliver are accurate and promote healing. “I didn’t do too much, though, love. Agnes did all the talking. I was just the radio she used.” There was more, I could hear the excitement vibrating between us. “Anything else?”

She shook her head. Then nodded. And frowned. Sheepish eyes met mine and she let a carefree grin take over her face.

“No, not too much else. I mean, I’ve seen Dad a few times this week, but neither Mom nor I have said anything to him about Grandma Agnes. We don’t want to start anything. At this point, he may never know that I know.” She raised her eyebrows at me, biting her lip. “Mom took me to their graves on Monday. While Dad was out with Patsy and the kids. It was surreal to see a picture of Patrick holding me as a baby on his grave.”

Patsy, Wendy’s younger sister, had no idea what she enabled that day. I wondered if she ever would.

If you wish to keep reading, check out the next chapter here:

To go back to the beginning, check out Chapter 1 here: