My Little Shadow: Chapter 10

Family means someone always has your back, even after they’re gone

Geordie came in from dinner with his Mom as I came down the stairs from tucking the kids into bed. We met at the bottom of the stairs in a loving embrace.

“You might be able to catch Carly, but I’m pretty sure Rudy’s fast asleep already.” He smiled at my words, happy to get to see even one of the kids before they were both asleep. Broke my heart to feel the tension in his shoulders, to see them sagging under the weight of his mother’s mental health.

A scotch for him, wine for me, I wandered into the family room to read while I waited for him.

“Hey sweetheart. Do you need to talk about it?” I laid my book on the side table when when he dropped onto the couch. He pulled me into his arms, sighing as we settled into one another.

“God, I wish I knew what to do with her, Sare. Mom has changed so much in the last few years. I don’t know who she is anymore. Or how to cope with it all.”

Geordie twirled the amber liquid around in his glass, watching the light refracting through the bevelled glass. I cradled my wine glass in the palm of my hand, waiting for him to finish speaking, knowing he was gathering his thoughts before continuing. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch.

Still as a statue, he told me, “Sarah, she yelled at Connie tonight. For no reason. Connie didn’t screw up or make a mistake, not that it would have made the outburst okay.” He scrubbed one hand down his face. “Hell, Connie wasn’t anywhere near our table, but Mom imagined she heard Connie say something out of line.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “I know she didn’t because Connie was taking orders from another table when Mom called her over just to yell at her for an imagine slight. It was embarrassing and unnecessary. She wouldn’t quiet down, either.”

Geordie took his mom to their family’s favourite restaurant. A family-owned little steakhouse, The Black Forest, was small, intimate and familiar. The perfect place for him to take his elderly mother for dinner.

He took a sip of his scotch and pinched his nose. “Mom yelled, berated Connie. She reduced her to tears… and then it was over. Mom stopped talking, took a deep breath, and asked Connie for a glass of water as if nothing happened.” Geordie turned confused, tired eyes my way.

“I didn’t know what to do. I tried calming her down, but she wouldn’t listen. Then yelled at me, calling my by my father’s name. She is losing it, I swear. I left a message with her Doctor’s office after I left her place tonight. I’m hoping to set up an appointment to discuss this with her doctor.”

Geordie paused. Another sigh, and sip of scotch, told me he was reflecting on the night’s events. I was thankful for maintaining our well-stocked liquor cabinet when he poured himself another scotch at the bar in the corner.

“You know, Sare, thank goodness Mom signed those papers giving the doctor permission to talk to me. It’ll make this so much easier, although I’m not sure she completely understood what she was signing. She wouldn’t have signed them if she understood they gave me permission to act on her behalf and speak with her doctor, lawyer and accountant without her knowledge.” Ice in his glass clinked as he savoured the smoky, peaty liquor’s mild burn as it slid down his throat. “Not that I would do anything to hurt her. I only want what’s best for her, which is more than she ever gave me.”

I wrapped my arms around him, unsure what to say to help him feel better. My mother-in-law was becoming erratic and unmanageable. If we didn’t get it under control soon, there would be bigger issues coming down the line.

“I’m at my wit’s end here, Sarah. I don’t know what else to do. Mom refuses to see any kind of rational sense and is lashing out at people for no reason.” His derisive chuckle belied his inner turmoil. “I ended up leaving Connie a much bigger tip than normal because I felt so bad for how Mom treated her. She didn’t even finish serving us, Doug did. He told us Connie was on her break, which I’m sure she’d earned, but I don’t think it was a scheduled one.”

“Connie needed to recover from your Mom snapping at her.” I pressed my forehead to his. “I don’t doubt she did. Your Mom can be quite nasty when she wants to be.”

She misses me too much.

I turned curious eyes to the empty club chair by the window. Well, not empty. Geordie’s father was sitting in it.

I’m sure she does, Burt. She’s been unstable since you left. Do you have any suggestions we can try with her?

My father-in-law, who passed a few years prior, looked thoughtful. He had fifty years of experience in managing his wife’s behaviour and I hoped he had some insight for us.

I’m not sure, Sarah. She talks to me, but she hasn’t figured out how to listen to me yet. Perhaps you could help her listen to me?

“She’s becoming unbearable to be around, too. I’m already down one parent, Sarah, I don’t want to lose her, too. She is making it so much harder to keep holding on when she acts like she has been.”

Geordie’s voice washed over me, as if from a distance. I heard his words, but was focused on talking to his father, which he didn’t know. He looked at me, waiting for a response. It wasn’t forthcoming. Impatient, he sipped his scotch, drumming his fingertips on the arm of the couch.

I was too busy to notice any of this right away because I was talking to someone else. Someone he couldn’t see. As usual.

Oh, Burt. I don’t think she’ll listen to me, either. She never has. You know that better than anyone. I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises. We’ll see how things go when she is here for dinner on Saturday.

“I see. I guess I’m not as important as whoever you’re talking to. Is that it? Times like this, when I need you, spirit gets under my skin.” Geordie swallowed a large mouthful of scotch, his fingers drumming an annoyed beat, leaving indentations in the padding on the couch’s armrest.

“Oh, hunny.” I realized then Geordie was waiting for me to answer him. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?” I hoped my apologetic smile would be enough but, by the look on his face as he repeated himself, I didn’t think it was.

“Geordie, just wait and see what the doctor says, love. There might be an easy fix. Maybe we can change up her diet. It could be something as simple as too much sugar or processed foods, like the issues some kids with ADHD have with food. Right?” It was obvious Geordie hadn’t thought diet might be an issue, or that I could be talking to his Dad. He nodded, his mouth screwed up in concentration. “And, for the record, the spirit monopolizing me is your Dad. Get pissy with him, not me.”

“Sorry, baby. This situation with Mom is frustrating the hell out of me. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Contrite, he squeezed my fingers before bringing them to his mouth for a kiss. “Dad, could you pick your timing better? I’m trying to solve the problem that is Mom right now and I need help. In fact, I need Sarah’s attention, so if you don’t have any suggestions, maybe we could visit later?”

Geordie looked around the room, hoping to glimpse his dad. His gaze roamed over him twice. Burt grinned, enjoying the game of ‘I spy’ he played with his grown son. I smiled and pointed at the club chair.

I wish he could see and hear me, too. If he could, he would have heard me tell him his Mom was watching those women at the table in the corner talking and assumed they were talking about her. When Connie went to take their order, their chatter and laughter got Thelma Rae’s back up. Connie pointed at the dessert trolley, which sat near her and Geordie’s table.

Burt shook his head in sadness. Thelma Rae figured they were talking about her and laughing. It had nothing to do with those women or Connie. It was Thelma Rae’s near-constant state of paranoia right now. I wish there was something we could do to help her. She just doesn’t want to listen. I’m afraid she may be too far gone to help now.

Thanks, Burt. I’ll let him know. I gave Burt a sly smile and passed his message about the other table onto Geordie, who grinned and looked over at the chair.

“Thanks, Dad. I wish I’d known that earlier, I could have smoothed things over with Connie better.” He chuckled, shaking his head at the whole situation. “Makes sense, though. I apologized to those ladies and thanked them for their understanding while Mom was in the restroom. She would have had a fit if she knew I did that.”

Thoughtful, Geordie sat beside me staring into his almost empty glass. “I’m hoping the doctor will have some good suggestions for us. If nothing else, maybe there are some anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds that will help her? That will be a last resort, though. I don’t want to do that unless we have to.”

“Oh, sweetheart, let’s hope it won’t come to that.” I leaned in to place a liplock on Geordie, sighing as his arms wrapped around me. We broke apart, each of us finishing our drinks before turning the television on. East coast twang of a reality star blasted through the speakers. Not paying attention, Geordie pressed gentle kiss to our linked hands, enjoying the way he made me feel.

He still makes my heart skip a beat.

“I’m glad I have you to help me through this life of mine, darling. I love you.” Back arched, Geordie stretched the night out of his cramped back before pulling me close again. “Not in the mood for some hack to hock her wares as she tries to convince everyone she’s the real deal. Let’s ditch the cable and put on a movie tonight.” Eyes flashing, he grinned. “How about a Dirty Harry movie?”

Laughing, I captured a kiss and got the DVD set out. Clint Eastwood was always good for a great, take-no-bullshit, shoot-’em-up movie.

To keep reading, check out Chapter 11 here:

If you want to read from the beginning, start with My Little Shadow: Chapter 1, here: