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Abstract

<p id="f3b0">As long as I can find more of those blue pills, I might be able to solve our existential question once and for all.</p><p id="a399">Thanks to <a href="undefined">Andrew Rodwin</a> and <a href="undefined">Stephanie Wilson</a> for editing, humor and patience.</p><blockquote id="015a"><p><i>Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow <a href="https://medium.com/@hi_64275">Ajin</a> and<a href="https://medium.com/muddyum"> MuddyUm</a></i></p></blockquote><div id="8c0e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/8-things-my-husband-doesnt-know-about-me-fc48a861e10c"> <div> <div> <h2>8 Things My Husband Doesn’t Know About Me</h2> <div><h3>As he transfers his knowledge base to the cloud, one CSV at a time</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*mYEAR0vG_BIYH0dP)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4a6d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/im-a-cat-and-you-should-just-stop-29207b8411fe"> <div> <div> <h2>I’m a Cat, and You Should # Options Just Stop</h2> <div><h3>I just can’t with you</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*vw_VOIE3weBgiNAFCrEpMQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="db61" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/feeling-burnout-relax-and-reprogram-your-mind-with-linkedin-hypnotherapy-2243ba912323"> <div> <div> <h2>Feeling Burnout? Relax And Reprogram Your Mind With LinkedIn Hypnotherapy</h2> <div><h3>Use the following verbal repetition in our job postings to achieve a corporate state of mind</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*HT9q00oleKlNaU1U)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="622f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*FDjpuq7ygmYNyVMIEGT9wg.png"><figcaption>Brand art by <a href="undefined">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Ms. Anthrope

My Life in 1st Person POV

Are you seeing this?

Image created with DALL.E

I think that loose Tic Tac I found in the kitchen wasn’t actually a Tic Tac. It wasn’t minty at all, come to think of it.

I’ve been staring at my hands for 5 minutes straight, and it dawned on me. My life is stuck in Tutorial Mode.

So with the help of another Non-Tic-Tac, I wrote down all the clues to my condition.

  1. Only have a vague sense of what I’m doing due to limited perspective.
  2. No clue on how to talk to other players.
  3. Often unsure how to interact with objects.
  4. Pretend to know what the game mechanism is.
  5. Learned to control limbs, but still misjudging distance.
  6. Feel like NPCs have too much power.
  7. Didn’t bother with the instructions.
  8. Randomly hitting keys hoping something might work.
  9. Sometimes can see the bridge of my nose.
  10. Still looking for a cheat code.

If you have a condition like mine, please don’t worry.

As long as I can find more of those blue pills, I might be able to solve our existential question once and for all.

Thanks to Andrew Rodwin and Stephanie Wilson for editing, humor and patience.

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow Ajin and MuddyUm

Brand art by David Todd McCarty
Humor
Comedy
Satire
Games
Point Of View
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