My Journey Of Becoming An Empath From The Self-Critic Person

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”― Tahereh Mafi

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

I was born as an empath. Still, I am. But I can recall how critical I was of myself and it didn’t take me too long to become critical of others. I was my best and worst self-critic person. I used to judge myself a lot. I had an inferiority complex and it was instilled in me by my friends more than anybody else.

Even though I stood as a topper in the college, I was under the impression I wasn’t doing good enough. There are times in my life when I still think about I am not doing good enough and I need to push myself hard. I know from where these thoughts emerge into me. Anything that we observe, see and feel as a child those feelings don’t go away easily in life.

I was empathetic towards others but then there were times when I was not so empathetic either and my self-critic personality challenged their thoughts too.

Like in one of the instances, my friend was sharing about how she was finding it tough to take care of five sisters-in-law along with her husband. I didn’t pay heed to her thoughts and criticized her for choosing the wrong family because she was calling me up now and then to complain about them.

The empath in me slept over her miseries because she was so critical about her life. I was 26 years old at that time. And, now I can see how her critical self attracted me and how someone’s empathetic side lit up the empath in me. It was all about what was coming my way and how I was magnetically responding to their vibes.

As an adult, I would say now I don’t show empathy only to others. I show it to myself too. I deserve it even if it feels like I don’t. The empath in me tells me now that it all starts with you. I reflect empathy in my talks too and I don’t feel bad now when people don’t get it.

A few days ago, my mother’s maid was crying because my father abused her. Instead of listening to her because she lied to my mother earlier, my mother started shouting at her. I participated in their fight to put an end to it and I made her maid feel light and gave her money so that she could leave. I told my mother clearly that she seriously needs to learn how to be an empathetic person.

No excuse will ever buy me to hurt the sentiment of someone else up to the extent that they start crying in front of you. Be it, my family members, when I see something or someone is wrong, they are wrong. It hurts my heart to see how I cannot make my parents understand these things. I run high on emotions and I find it tough to make them believe how they treat others affects me. It does.

So, this journey of transformation from being a self-critic person to an empath has got me so far but it has its price. I pay for it every day. Maybe that’s the reason I feel so anxious at times. My anxiety knows no bounds. I pray when I feel anxious. And, I truly hope that people stop preaching what they don’t live by an example.

This beautiful prompt by Trista Signe Ainsworth made me think a lot about my journey in life. Hence, I had to share my thoughts on it with all of you.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ― Leo Buscaglia

Gurpreet Dhariwal is the author of Two Poetry Books. Her poetry books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, and BlueRose. Connect with Gurpreet at www.gurpreetdhariwal.com