My Intuition is Never Wrong
Not Even When I Want it to Be
Every bad thing that’s ever happened to me seems to have triggered my early warning system. I felt the shift at a deeper level even if I seemed unchanged on the surface. My intuition is that damn good.
Sometimes, I wish it wasn’t.
Anticipating Changes
I often anticipate the changes that are coming. I worry over them, becoming increasingly fragile as I watch something I want fall to pieces. I don’t seem to truly enjoy what I have until the moment I don’t have it anymore. I see the end, and my hurt begins the moment I know it’s coming.
Anticipation, particularly in the form of dread, has a way of wrecking our happiness. This is why so many people struggle with relationships. Even when they’re happy, we’ve learned to fear the end. We become hyperaware of every nuance that could portend a change in feelings. We watch and wait for the other shoe to drop — because it always has before.
Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Just because we sense the change doesn’t mean we’re prepared to act on that knowledge. I have found this to be particularly difficult. I know that making a preemptive change could help reclaim my power in a situation, but I also understand that it rarely feels powerful to make a decision we don’t want to make to try to beat someone else to the punch.
This is particularly true when we sense our relationships coming to an end. It’s death by a thousand cuts, but there’s such beautiful hope in standing in your own truth to say This is what I want, even if you don’t. It’s a foolish hope, but it’s hope, nonetheless.
For most of us, we sense a change in the atmosphere, and we move into fight or flight. Others freeze and become incapable of doing anything. Our intuition is powerful — as is our denial. Sometimes, we know that if we see the truth, we’ll feel a need to do something about it. Until we’re ready to make a change, we simply close our eyes and pretend that nothing’s changed.
Intuition, Not Premonition
I don’t have abilities beyond what anyone else does. I’m not magically seeing into the future. Intuition works as that gut feeling when we sense something without a seemingly rational reason to do so.
Sometimes, I want to be wrong so bad it hurts. But I never am. I saw my divorce a million miles away. The lover who ghosted me haunted me before he ever did. The ex who stole my savings and left me scrambling to survive was a vision of an empty box, my money gone, long before I confirmed the truth. And the one I wanted to stay and would have chosen every day for the rest of my life kept shifting until I wondered why he would see my pain and choose to add to it.
It’s more than relationships. I saw lost jobs coming for me a mile away, shifting friendships before they were gone, and conflict like it was writ large across the sky — a gathering storm coming for me. If we listen to that quiet inner voice, there’s much we can learn.
Learning To Trust Our Inner Knowing
I’ve learned that my intuition will not fail me if only I trust it. I have learned that I need to love myself enough not to stand powerless in the path of change. I’ve learned to trust that the shifting of the Universe will be for my greatest good. I’ve learned even that it’s better to relax into that knowledge rather than hurting the moment I sense the coming changes.
I cannot stop the changes that will come for me. But I can prepare for them. I can meet them with courage, authenticity, and a sure belief in my ability to weather any challenge. I can accept them, even the ones that feel like they will break me.
Perhaps I’ve needed to be broken to become more than I am. Instead of seeing it as my downfall, I can look at it as my origin story. This is how it begins — to handle more than I ever thought I could and still step calmly into my power, leading the changes rather only ever anticipating them.
