PERSONAL & RELATIONSHIPS

My Former Best Friend Submarined Me

A year after she slow faded me

Wait, what? No, I’m not in the navy. I talk about a “trend” for ending and reviving relationships. But first, some background.

Today

I wrote in my article about orbiting, that “they will continue to follow you on social media.

They just watch you, without getting in contact. For example, they watch your Instagram stories, and click on your profiles frequently, but never try to get in contact.

My former best friend does that right now — she watches all my Facebook and Instagram stories, and visits my business profiles every few days.

She marks Facebook events as “interested” whenever I do. She lives 2 hours away, so she won’t be there for sure — she never visited me at home.

Sometimes she even hits the “like” button, but she never answered me, left me on ‘read’, no matter if I had reached out via Messenger, or called her.

How it started

Years ago, she slow faded me, as I wrote in my article “I Was “Slow Faded” by My Best Friend”: “[…]Shortly before our meeting, she canceled. This happens more often. But she still suggested new meetings on her own initiative.

Thus, I thought everything was okay. That something really came up. I thought we continue to be best friends, and the circumstances just do not fit.

She said everything is okay. Apparently, it wasn’t. She canceled our meetings more and more often.”

I wrote that she probably never intended to spend time with me.

She found excuses and lied to me on my birthday and the days before and after. She never talked to me about it.

What happened then?

About a year later, something strange happened. I remember it as if it was yesterday. But it happened probably 10 years ago.

After a year of total silence, she was back. Like a submarine surfacing. I was surprised and confused.

I got a private message on Instagram from her. She saw a picture I posted in my story. A photo of the Almond Blossom Festival at my home.

The festival is a kind of wine festival in a place where incredibly many almond trees grow. It is beautiful there.

I was there alone to photograph the trees. I know that my former best friend likes to be photographed and also models as a hobby. She wrote to me, out of nowhere. And the strangest thing about it:

She acted as if nothing had happened!

She asked me how I was doing, and what was new. Even wrote that it is a pity that we have not seen each other for so long. That she would like to know where I took the photos.

She was even so bold as to ask if I would like to go there with her! Take a few photos of her and of me.

I was raised to always be polite to people. Even if they do not deserve it, as in this case. But I wrote her about where I took the photos.

I wrote that I am fine, but I don’t want to go there with her.

Since I find it strange that she would contact me like that out of nowhere after everything that happened. Her answer: oh, let’s go there, then we chat a bit. When do you have time?

She either doesn’t understand how hurtful she was to me in the past. Or she doesn’t care. In either case, I’m glad I turned her down.

I know exactly how it would have gone otherwise: she would have stood me up again several times or ignored me. Or we would have actually met, and I would have driven, and picked the best spots.

I would have taken pictures of her.

The only reason she would have probably wanted to go there with me. After that, she would have been in a hurry. No time to talk. I would have been frustrated, even more than usual.

I’m glad I was strong and canceled this time. She didn’t reply to my message.

The only thing I’m sad about: I think about her whenever I visit the Almond Blossom Festival or take pictures of almond trees.

But I guess it could be worse. I’m fine without her.

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