My Most Embarrassing Moment: What Would “Emily Post Etiquette” Say?

Major case of foot in mouth: Yammering away at a cocktail party with ne’er an obstacle in sight.

I studied visual arts and communications in college and graduated early. After only 2 1/2 years, I finished my Bachelor of Arts requirements. Big deal. I should have spent more time enjoying my college years, taking more courses, and bonding with my professors.

Jump years after graduation, and my college invited me to an alum gathering in New York City. They were looking for money, and the swankiness of this chic loft setting was a good starting point.

While mingling, I ended up in conversation with a woman whom I had no idea who she was. We had a collegial chit-chat about where I lived, what I do, and the years I attended the School. So far, no big hoo-hah. Then I blabbed:

“But I had the absolute worst advisor while I was there. He should have encouraged me to slow down.” I mentioned how I graduated from what should have been a 4-year college in a scant 2 1⁄2 years.

“That’s impressive. How did you do that?” the woman asked.

I explained and then went for the kill. No filters. No benefit of the doubt. Just a straight shoot from the hip before landing on the part that I now regret.

“ was distracted by one of his star students, . Here we are years later, and I’m still miffed that didn’t say, ‘Whoa, what’s the rush? How about using the time you now have to take courses to explore different fields and take advantage of college life?’”

“Oh, I see,” she responded. “Well, ‘your advisor’ is my husband. In fact, he’s standing right over there.”

The conversation stopped dead in its tracks.

I could see the floor opening exactly where I stood. There was only one thing to do. “Oh, I see someone I haven’t seen in years. Will you excuse me?” and made my way instead, with no haste, to the table overloaded with pâtés and strange cheeses.

Could I push the ERASE button on the scene and conversation?

I decided to ask Lizzie Post, doyenne of the Emily Post empire on etiquette. Lizzie’s advice, “I could see some awesome spouse being really sympathetic and saying, ‘Oh, no, keep it coming. This is a good venting session,’ or ‘Ha! You should see him at home!’”

I could have softened the blow by NOT saying the names. Strangers you just met at a cocktail party don’t need to know the details.

Lizzie continued, “You can say, ‘I once had an experience with someone where …’ and leave it oblique.”

The Takeaway: When going to a party, especially where there is a common thread in the group, have polite conversations. “Keep the daggers in your purse or breast pocket,” said Lizzie.

And that, kind reader, is the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. What’s yours?

Bonni Brodnick is the author of the just-released memoir, “My Stroke in the Fast Lane: A Journey to Recovery” and “Pound Ridge Past,” now in its second edition. Formerly with Glamour and House & Garden magazines, Bonni has written scripts for Children’s Television Workshop, was a weekly newspaper columnist, and was editor of two academic magazines. She is an award-winning communications specialist, a member of Pound Ridge Authors Society, and has a blog (bonnibrodnick.com). Bonni is also an ambassador for the American Heart Association and a proud Stroke Survivor.

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