My Dog Sat Me Down For A Heart To Heart

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sitting between you both on the couch and looking at that window with the moving pictures. It’s my favorite time of the day.</p><p id="25ba">It’s just that, well, you’re starting to cramp my style. I mean, you two used to go to work every day and left me to do my thing. I’d have a nap, look out the window, and bark madly at the postmen when he came along.</p><p id="52dc">Nobody was there to tell me to “Get down” or “Be quiet!” I just did my job. I loath that postman.</p><p id="28ea">Have you ever noticed that when you’re around, I sleep with one eye open? I have to be ready to follow whenever you jump up. It’s very stressful. At least when you and the redhead used to go out for a while, I could get some rest.</p><p id="10f3">So, if you wouldn’t mind, at least for mental health purposes, (mine, not yours) could you find something to do out of the house a little more often?</p><p id="89e5">And one more thing. Boy, I never thought I would hear myself say this either. I need grooming, desperately. Look at me! It’s embarrassing when we go out for walks. We do indeed start to look more alike with time, but this is ridiculous, man.</p><

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p id="a446">Okay, I’ve said my piece. Now come over here and let me give you a good slurp up the face. Off you go now.</p><p id="cf31">I’ll work on this box while you’re out.</p><figure id="1ea5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*tgD3avnIGz0bE8y1MH5ZMw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo courtesy of S. Englander</figcaption></figure><p id="ea39">Good talk.</p><p id="1ab4"><i>As always, thanks for taking the time. Here’s a little more about me in my ILLUMINATION bio.</i></p><div id="27a7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/post-middle-aged-middle-class-white-guy-285507a5984f"> <div> <div> <h2>Post-middle-aged, Middle-class White Guy</h2> <div><h3>Post-middle-aged, Middle-class White Guy</h3></div> <div><p> Post-middle-aged, Middle-class White Guymedium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*hyY-HIr0mM_F9N8H)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

And she had plenty to say

Photo courtesy of S. Englander

Listen. You know I love you.

I love you more than anything in this world, well, except for my ball. And maybe my tippy toy that the treats come out of. Anyway, you get the drift.

I’ve been in dog paradise now for nearly seven months. I mean really, who wouldn’t want their meal ticket at their beck and call 24/7? This has been a blast, especially for a whole summer.

Getting extra walks and playtime has been a massive boost to my general health and wellbeing, I know.

Here comes the but though.

The truth is, you and the other one, the female, are starting to get on my nerves a little. Don’t get me wrong. You guys are the best. You feed me and make sure I’m safe and comfortable. We play, you feed me, and yes, you even bath me; yech!

I love sitting between you both on the couch and looking at that window with the moving pictures. It’s my favorite time of the day.

It’s just that, well, you’re starting to cramp my style. I mean, you two used to go to work every day and left me to do my thing. I’d have a nap, look out the window, and bark madly at the postmen when he came along.

Nobody was there to tell me to “Get down” or “Be quiet!” I just did my job. I loath that postman.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re around, I sleep with one eye open? I have to be ready to follow whenever you jump up. It’s very stressful. At least when you and the redhead used to go out for a while, I could get some rest.

So, if you wouldn’t mind, at least for mental health purposes, (mine, not yours) could you find something to do out of the house a little more often?

And one more thing. Boy, I never thought I would hear myself say this either. I need grooming, desperately. Look at me! It’s embarrassing when we go out for walks. We do indeed start to look more alike with time, but this is ridiculous, man.

Okay, I’ve said my piece. Now come over here and let me give you a good slurp up the face. Off you go now.

I’ll work on this box while you’re out.

Photo courtesy of S. Englander

Good talk.

As always, thanks for taking the time. Here’s a little more about me in my ILLUMINATION bio.