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Abstract

y. I thought I had enough money on my card left for the last few days of the month.</p><p id="4ccf"><b>I sacrificed my financial future for one lousy man.</b></p><p id="d8df">I’ve struggled since I finalized my divorce but I’ve gotten through. I thought the worst of the humiliation, damaged self-respect, and demeaning experiences were behind me.</p><p id="c02b">I was wrong.</p><p id="307e"><i>I broke my arm two months ago.</i></p><p id="f2a9"><b>As a freelance journalist, I lost the money I was counting on.</b></p><p id="eb22">The break is near my elbow and I’ve had mobility issues. It’s been a long recovery and an additional expense. I wasn’t able to generate the number of articles I typically would.</p><p id="3de0">My ex-husband lied, cheated, and stole.</p><p id="8937">He took all of our savings and retirement in the divorce. He used the years of our marriage struggling to hide our assets well. The amount I receive monthly from the business I helped build is roughly 75% less than it should be because he manipulated and lowered the income.</p><p id="4a4f"><b>One lousy man it turned out I couldn’t trust.</b></p><p id="6b64"><i>I shouldn’t have had to remand my life savings, credit, and self-respect in divorce.</i></p><p id="afb4">But that’s what happens…</p><p id="e094"><b>When you marry a bad guy camouflaged as a good one.</b></p><p id="1419">I’m not in a position to withstand any type of large unexpected expense or event. I don’t have savings, retirement, credit, or any type of cushion to rely on. It wasn’t enough my husband took everything. He ruined our credit to appear broke and limit me from fighting him legally.</p><p id="17bd">I am rebuilding but I liken it to recovering from bankruptcy.</p><p id="96fb">The seven-year climb to rebuild your life financially.</p><p id="69f5">It takes years to rebuild your credit score. I attempted to do so during our elongated divorce just to have my husband take it back down again. I have legal and other debts. I can't complain because I have enough that I am getting by but it’s the hand-to-mouth stress of getting by a day at a time.</p><p id="3a14"><b>I sacrificed my financial future for one lousy man.</b></p><p id="d8f0"><i>A guy who recently remarried with a big ring and wedding in the six figures.</i></p><p id="d587">He throws the money around as if he’s done nothing wrong.</p><p id="28fc"><b>But that’s what happens…</b></p><p id="8044">When you marry a bad guy camouflaged as a good one.</p><p id="2c04"><b>Follow </b>my quotes on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/colleenorme/">Instagram</a> or me on <a href="https://twitter.com/ColleenOrme">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleen-orme-7773015/">LinkedIn</a> or <a href="http

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s://www.facebook.com/colleensheehyorme">Facebook</a></p><p id="5297"><i>If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/membership">become a Medium member.</a> For just $5 a month, you will get unlimited access to Medium.</i></p><div id="8270" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/5-emotional-truths-of-divorce-134860483466"> <div> <div> <h2>5 Emotional Truths of Divorce</h2> <div><h3>You should be prepared for these in divorce</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*V9QhkYh6JLLAvKZlRO2Q7Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4b14" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-colleen-sheehy-orme-9b12658f5b9"> <div> <div> <h2>About Me — Colleen Sheehy Orme</h2> <div><h3>I have always been motivated by love</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*IZgS20QSDDgtFnXeCqBuFA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="1612" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-lost-everything-i-owned-95a761783bb9"> <div> <div> <h2>I Lost Everything I Owned</h2> <div><h3>But this is what made me cry like a baby</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*hTQ_tomgPUEQdXcyYe1c1A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c0c6" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-divorce-is-the-best-life-changing-self-improvement-opportunity-95db07e95f2c"> <div> <div> <h2>Why Divorce Is the Best Life-Changing Self-Improvement Opportunity</h2> <div><h3>And why I am creating a new vision board for my life</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*upz-J1PjHTd86ypbs8I9kw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

My Debit Card Got Declined Today

Divorce shouldn’t have ruined my credit and my self-respect

I stand at the checkout and swipe my card. The young girl looks at me and asks me if I can swipe it again. My anxiety level starts to rise.

“I’m sorry,” says the girl. “Your card was declined.

I fight the tears that begin to well in my eyes. This can’t be happening again. I’m so careful since my divorce. I check and double-check balances before I go anywhere.

“I’ve got you,” says the voice behind me.

I turn to see a woman with kind-hearted eyes and a warm smile. A young child stands beside her. This charitable graciousness overwhelms me. It’s even harder to fight back the emotion I keep captive.

“No, please don’t do that,” I say. “I’m not sure why it’s not going through. There should be enough on my card to cover it.”

I step aside to collect myself and figure things out.

“I will be back,” I say to the cashier.

“It’s done,” says the woman. “Enjoy.”

I”m embarrassed and grateful.

I didn’t want her to pay for me.

I just wanted to flee the store, my dignity trailing behind me.

As much as I profess I have the money and it’s all been a mistake, the more they see through me. The sweet young cashier, a beautiful woman, and even the small child.

They know my truth.

I grab the bag holding my $13 dollar humiliation.

“Thank you,” I say. “You didn’t need to do that.”

I should have said more.

I should have told the woman how kind, caring, and loving she was. I should’ve told her she made a huge difference in my day helping me collect my self-respect. I should’ve told her someone raised her right.

The way my mom raised us.

Or as I always say, “If you know my heart, you’ve met my mother.”

I exit the store and the tears fall. It wasn’t worth the lousy $13 to feel this way again. Even if it did renew my faith in humanity. I thought I had enough money on my card left for the last few days of the month.

I sacrificed my financial future for one lousy man.

I’ve struggled since I finalized my divorce but I’ve gotten through. I thought the worst of the humiliation, damaged self-respect, and demeaning experiences were behind me.

I was wrong.

I broke my arm two months ago.

As a freelance journalist, I lost the money I was counting on.

The break is near my elbow and I’ve had mobility issues. It’s been a long recovery and an additional expense. I wasn’t able to generate the number of articles I typically would.

My ex-husband lied, cheated, and stole.

He took all of our savings and retirement in the divorce. He used the years of our marriage struggling to hide our assets well. The amount I receive monthly from the business I helped build is roughly 75% less than it should be because he manipulated and lowered the income.

One lousy man it turned out I couldn’t trust.

I shouldn’t have had to remand my life savings, credit, and self-respect in divorce.

But that’s what happens…

When you marry a bad guy camouflaged as a good one.

I’m not in a position to withstand any type of large unexpected expense or event. I don’t have savings, retirement, credit, or any type of cushion to rely on. It wasn’t enough my husband took everything. He ruined our credit to appear broke and limit me from fighting him legally.

I am rebuilding but I liken it to recovering from bankruptcy.

The seven-year climb to rebuild your life financially.

It takes years to rebuild your credit score. I attempted to do so during our elongated divorce just to have my husband take it back down again. I have legal and other debts. I can't complain because I have enough that I am getting by but it’s the hand-to-mouth stress of getting by a day at a time.

I sacrificed my financial future for one lousy man.

A guy who recently remarried with a big ring and wedding in the six figures.

He throws the money around as if he’s done nothing wrong.

But that’s what happens…

When you marry a bad guy camouflaged as a good one.

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