My Date Said I Had Walked Into A Situation - This Is What She Meant
I have never starred in a sitcom, on this day I felt like I was in one
To tell the story, I met this girl through work, and we got chatting and hit it off and to cut a long story short, arranged to go out on a date. We were going to meet later in the week, but we were chatting over Snapchat and things were, to say the least, heating up between us, because of this she invited me that very night to a bar near where she lived. She was going there with her friends — which is why previously we were not meeting that night, there was a band night on and she was big on bands. The plan was we would just slip away together later on in the night after the bands had finished.
Anyhow she gives me the address and tells me to meet her there, and when I get there the first thing she tells me is that I have unwittingly walked into a situation.
It turns out that her ex-boyfriend, who she had broken up with around six weeks or so back, along with his family and all his friends are there — so his mother, his father, his uncle, his aunt, and a good number of others. She points out the table and immediately I see them all looking at me. Great, I think, but not the end of the world so long as she is not still into him.
With this in mind, I dig for a little more information and she tells me that it was her who left him, nothing untoward she just wasn’t that into him, he was a nice guy but there was just no spark and never really had been — apparently they had got together when they were at school. She then goes on to tell me that he, on the other hand, was still very much keen on her and that she was still friendly with his family and in fact loved his family, just not him. She also adds that his family were desperate to get them back together, which was causing a bit of tension.
At this point, I’m thinking with perhaps a large grain of understatement that this was not the best situation to be having a first date in, but, at the same time, not the end of the world. She was clearly not into him, that much was clear so at least it was all good on that front.
So I say okay you know it can’t be helped, just one of those things and I ask her what she wants to do, and if it would be better if I left and we met later in the week. She tells me that she wants me to stay, she then introduces me to her best friend, along with her other friends. All seem quite friendly so all good, no enemies here… Or at least that was how it first appeared.
But then my date goes to the bathroom, leaving me with her friends. Her best friend then decides to chat with me and to say the least it was very clear that she was not a fan of mine. She never said anything untoward it was just you know… well you can just tell when a person has a problem with you, not because of what they say as such but because of how they say what they say, and the looks that they give you when they are saying it. And there was definitely something not friendly behind what she was saying to me and how she was saying it.
At first, I wondered if I was perhaps just misreading the situation, maybe she was just being the protective best friend, but the dagger-like glances she continued to give me as the night progressed were pretty much unmistakable. She for some reason really did not want me there. This became even more apparent when my date returned, basically she, that is my date’s best friend, left me and my date alone for a moment to go to speak to her other friends, and it was clear she was not saying nice things about me to those other friends. This made me wonder if perhaps she was on the side of team ex-boyfriend.
Turns out that that was not the case because as the night continues, and my date keeps being dragged away from me by pretty much everyone, I get speaking to a guy, I will call him Bob.
Bob tells me he finds this whole situation hilarious — glad someone was enjoying themselves. He tells me that one of her friends probably knew the ex-boyfriend would be here but didn’t tell my date. He then tells me that in fact he wouldn’t be surprised if the reason the ex-boyfriend and family were here was because someone had told them that my date would be here, and that me being here had thrown a big spanner in their plans.
My assumption at this point is that that person must be the best friend.
But, right at the moment I’m about to ask if she is the culprit, another guy enters the bar, he has a present for my date and the best friend makes certain that he gets the chance to get some alone time with her to give it to her, and in this moment everything clicks. It is not the ex-boyfriend that the best friend is rooting for, it is this guy.
Apparently my date and him had been friends since they were children, and I could tell pretty much without even being told that he was completely and totally in love with her.
And he was completely and totally in love with her, Bob told me as such and made clear that now the whole situation had just become even more of a nightmare for me. He was not wrong, but on the plus side, it was clear that my date had no interest in this guy because I asked her about him, and she told me he was like her brother. And she said it in that way that makes clear that the guy had no hope.
Part of me is thinking, harsh, but it’s just one of those things. Also, I am thinking to myself that yes this is an awkward situation, but I don’t see any problems to me and her getting together.
In fact, I was thinking that if I played it right, survived the night, that it could actually work in my favour all this happening. In fact, my confidence that this could yet be a good night was growing because despite me only having known her for a short time, it was clear that the only person in this bar not trying to set her up with someone she didn’t want to be with, was me.
But then, just as my confidence was growing, something unexpected happened, something I could never have predicted, something very unfortunate.
To explain, the headline band starts playing and as a result, the dancefloor is opened up, at this point I think to myself this is perfect, maybe we could dance, get some alone time, then once the band have finished their set we can leave, and this night can finally get started.
However, just as I was broaching the idea with my date, you know asking her if she wanted to dance, the best friend grabs her and drags her up onto the dancefloor. Figures. Anyhow, my date looks at me apologetically while Bob tells me that I’ve got no hope of getting any alone time with her so long as the best friend is around. To say the least, I felt he was right, but was taking solace in the fact that once the band finished playing, we would be leaving, the best thing about it, the best friend would not be coming with us.
But then just as I was thinking about how great of a night this could still be, thinking about how much we would have to talk about, this woman probably in her late 50s suddenly grabs my arm — literally it felt like she came out and nowhere.
“Let’s dance”, she says repeatedly, while literally trying to drag me out of the chair and onto the dancefloor. I attempt to repel her advances, “No I’m all right thanks,” I tell her, “I’m with someone else.”
But this woman was unrelenting. “Let’s dance,” she keeps saying. “She won’t mind. I’m a married woman, I don’t want your cock, I just want to dance, so let’s dance.” Yep, she really said that, all the while categorically refusing to release her vice-like grip of my arm.
At this point, I note that everyone is looking at me and this woman in astonishment. I see my date is also looking. “It’s just one dance,” the woman says. “Come on, don’t be a spoilsport, you can dance with her in a minute, but you are never gonna dance with her while sitting in this chair.”
I really did not wish to dance with her, but, on hearing her say this part of me wondered whether she was trying to help me, you know, trying to get me onto the dancefloor as a means of giving me a chance to cut in with my date. I became certain this had to be it, why else would she be so ruthlessly insistent?
With this in mind, even though I was still somewhat reluctant, I gave in and so now I am dancing with this woman in her 50s, and right next to me is my date who’s dancing with her best friend.
Except I’m not just dancing with this woman, I’m being interrogated by her because she is asking me questions at a rapid rate, where are you from, what do you do, and on and on she goes, as unrelenting in her questioning as a priest from the Spanish Inquisition.
Also, I note that everyone in the entire place is now looking at me and this woman dancing with an even greater look of sheer astonishment, it also becomes very clear that she is trying to keep me as far away from my date as possible.
This immediately worries me because I’m thinking have I got this wrong, have I just agreed to dance with somebody not connected to my date? What further worries me is as the dancing continues my date and me continually exchange glances, and she is also looking at me with ever-increasing astonishment, just like everyone else. All I’m thinking at this point is what the hell have I got myself into here, who am I dancing with?
I am also thinking about how I am going to explain how this happened, how I came to be dancing with this woman, whoever she is, why I had agreed to it. How she wouldn’t take no for an answer, how I hadn’t wanted to create a scene, how I had thought that she must be one of my date’s friends. I am also thinking that it’s all right, once I have explained it to my date she would probably find it funny.
Anyhow, so the song ends and I am released by the woman, who I watch walk away, and where does she go? The table where all the family of my date’s ex-boyfriend are sitting.
You can probably imagine what I was thinking in this moment, had I just danced with someone from the ex-boyfriend’s family? Surely not?
Thing is it was very dark so I’d never really got a proper look at any of the people from the table, but perhaps it would make sense based on the fact that she had pretty much interrogated me. In fact, I think to myself, it would make a lot of sense. But surely it could not be, surely not? What would be the purpose even, getting to know the competition?
Anyhow, my date sits down next to me and then looks at me, that look of astonishment still in her eyes. She then says to me do you realise who that was? “No,” I say, while at the same time starting to get a very sinking feeling as to who it may have been, “I’ve no idea.” She then hits me with it. My ex-boyfriend’s mother.
Boom. Yep, stop the presses. I had just danced with the mother of my date’s ex-boyfriend.
That actually happened. My date tells me that she had pointed her out, but I was like it was dark, I couldn’t make out their faces. In response all my date does is look at me with this expression on her face which no doubt is very similar to the one that you will be giving right now while reading this.
Anyhow, if you’re wondering what happened we did date each other for a while — it fizzled out because she left the area, take a guess why. But even though it did fizzle out we are still in contact today, unlike any of her friends from that day. Take from that what you will.
And if you’re wondering if we ever talk about this day, now and then, and usually it ends with her giving me the following advice: if ever you’re on a date and another woman asks you to dance, say no because you never know it might be the mother of her ex-!
That’s all for me for today, thanks for reading!
If you found this story interesting, you may also enjoy the following:
That Time a Bride-To-Be Propositioned Me for Sex
That Time A Guy Made A Crazy Wedding Request
Twelve Brilliant Wiseass Comebacks To Common Insults
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