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/i></p><p id="ec36"><i>I am smoking lots of pot.</i></p><p id="32e9"><i>Oh no! I have run out of pot to smoke.</i></p><p id="f4d8"><i>I was supposed to get married/fly to Venice/lose 20 pounds/celebrate my birthday but now I can’t. What a loss! (Except for the 20 pounds. They’re staying put.)</i></p><p id="a53c"><i>I was supposed to get married/fly to Venice/lose 20 pounds/celebrate my birthday but now I can’t. But who cares about that kind of first world problem when people are dying?</i></p><p id="fd92"><i>I love my partner but not day in day out all the fucking time.</i></p><p id="f8e6"><i>If you start playing that noisy video game when I’m in the middle of a work-related Zoom conference one more time I swear I will throw this laptop at you.</i></p><p id="62cc"><i>Celebrate the heroes! From the heroic doctors and nurses to the heroic grocery store cashiers and delivery people. Celebrate all of them. (And maybe even pay them more?)</i></p><p id="09f6"><i>Covid is healing the planet. There are dolphins in the canals in Venice and no smog in Los Angeles. How cool is that?</i></p><p id="facf"><i>The fact that earth is in much better shape now that we’re all doing nothing and staying inside means that We are the Virus. Fuck us!</i></p><p id="0418"><a href="https://rosalindwarren.medium.com/need-a-good-editor-get-in-touch-c3508093b772?sk=da811ef430b407044d2aff236d7c0570"><b><i>Writing Coach</i></b></a> <b><i>and editor-for-hire <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-roz-warren-efbecf511f04?sk=4ba4c8736b0dd97473598b22583e2090">Roz Warren</a></i></b>, <b><i>who</i></b> <b><i>writes for everyone from the <a href="https://readmedium.com/looking-for-a-terrific-paying-market-fo

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r-humor-and-cartoons-b24658bb9d5d?source=friends_link&sk=c8803f26bb5ce98c081a711c3768eed1">Funny Times</a> to <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-every-essay-you-write-should-be-the-best-essay-you-can-write-8c00f287f53?source=friends_link&amp;sk=7e39aed6b3fb5e9d2b392a464682aba9">the New York Times</a></i></b>, <b><i>can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at <a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a>. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)</i></b></p><div id="6c62" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/need-a-good-editor-get-in-touch-c3508093b772"> <div> <div> <h2>Need a Good Editor? Get in Touch</h2> <div><h3>Is There Anything Wrong with Creating a Medium Post That’s Just an Ad for My Services as a Writing Coach?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*eEMk0AwJcTZ2X98o)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="89b9" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/an-airport-pot-drop-8c080e8e5586"> <div> <div> <h2>An Airport Pot Drop?</h2> <div><h3>Now I’ve Seen Everything</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ul-s83D6Nfjxz1RL_HPsyg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

My Cat Is Not Enjoying This and I’m Running Out of Toilet Paper!

What We Write About When We Write about the Coronapocalypse

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Writers! Want to write about Covid? Of course you do! Covid is all anyone wants to write about these days. But what to write? That’s easy. Here, in no particular order, are the top 20 most popular Covid-related essay topics.

Just choose one and you’re good to go:

My cat is not enjoying this.

My dog is enjoying this.

I am baking bread!

I am eating too much bread.

I am so productive!

I am so unproductive!

Being locked down with my loved ones has made me appreciate them all the more.

Being locked down with my loved ones has made me appreciate Valium all the more.

Here’s a rant about masks/toilet paper/hand sanitizer/and/or social distancing.

Being inside all day because of Covid has made me more spiritual.

Being inside all day because of Covid has made me more horny.

No you can’t get Covid from eating Chinese take-out/holding a Gerbil/touching a toilet/thinking evil thoughts.

I am smoking lots of pot.

Oh no! I have run out of pot to smoke.

I was supposed to get married/fly to Venice/lose 20 pounds/celebrate my birthday but now I can’t. What a loss! (Except for the 20 pounds. They’re staying put.)

I was supposed to get married/fly to Venice/lose 20 pounds/celebrate my birthday but now I can’t. But who cares about that kind of first world problem when people are dying?

I love my partner but not day in day out all the fucking time.

If you start playing that noisy video game when I’m in the middle of a work-related Zoom conference one more time I swear I will throw this laptop at you.

Celebrate the heroes! From the heroic doctors and nurses to the heroic grocery store cashiers and delivery people. Celebrate all of them. (And maybe even pay them more?)

Covid is healing the planet. There are dolphins in the canals in Venice and no smog in Los Angeles. How cool is that?

The fact that earth is in much better shape now that we’re all doing nothing and staying inside means that We are the Virus. Fuck us!

Writing Coach and editor-for-hire Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)

Humor
Writing
Pandemic
Covid-19
Toilet Paper
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