My Boyfriend Walks Outside Barefoot — Here’s The Life-Improving Takeaway

#1 Stop caring about what others think of you.

“Would it be weird if I didn’t wear shoes?” my boyfriend Mike asked me as we were getting ready to leave the house.

Thinking it was a joke, I chuckled and said yes. As I locked the door to my apartment, I looked down and noticed he was indeed barefoot. My sides hurt from laughing.

See, Mike didn’t actually care that it was weird. We had just started dating, and he simply asked me that question to let me know what he was about to do.

Sure, when his feet aren’t shod, some people stare, do double takes and point, but he just doesn’t care. And, I’m extremely proud to hold his hand as we saunter.

Some clarifications: He doesn’t ride public transportation or go to public restrooms without shoes. If his destination is within walking distance, he goes the distance with no shoes on. The other day, we went on a two-hour walk. Yup, his feet were bare.

So, why am I writing about Mike’s bare feet, you ask? I think there are some lessons we can learn from his lifestyle.

1. Stop caring about what others think of you

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” — Lao Tzu

We are social creatures. So, it’s normal to care about how we are perceived. We haven’t evolved out of our need to belong, and, oftentimes, belonging means following the status quo.

Yes, people stare at Mike, but they then go about their business. Some people even offer him a few smiles.

When I lived in Macau, people would literally stop and stare. I’d get pointed at. People would grab their friends in amazement — because I’m Black, and they possibly had never seen anyone of my complexion roaming the streets. I honestly felt like an alien. But, that experience desensitized me to others’ opinion of my existence.

According to the National Science Foundation, the average human has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. People aren’t thinking of us that much.

How many of us have found ourselves withholding a part of who we are for fear of judgement? How many of us have tucked away stories in our chest as if they were children we were putting to bed at night? Those stories, the fullness of who you are, need to see the light of day.

When you stop caring, your peace of mind shoots up. The next point will delve into one way to stop caring. But, I will say that learning not to take things personally is a game changer. What people think of you is their business, not yours.

Some questions for journaling:

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t due to fear of judgement?

What would it look like if you lived more daringly?

2. Be lead by your values

“Peace of mind produces right values, right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions.” — Mark Richardson

Ignoring external voices is easier when you are guided by your values. Prioritizing your internal guidance system won’t make the voices disappear; it’ll make them matter less, as you have another boss: your values.

Mike walks barefoot, because he values health and wellness. He wants to toughen his soles and fix his flat feet.

In his words:

“Tougher feet would enable me to walk barefoot for longer and across harder surfaces without getting hurt. I mainly walk barefoot, because it’s relaxing and stress-relieving. Also, it increases my stability, proprioception and body awareness by providing more feedback (the soles of our feet have a high concentration of nerve-endings that are effectively silenced by the use of shoes or, to a lesser extent, socks.)”

He’s done the research and experienced the benefits. He won’t throw all that away just because passersby think he’s odd.

Let your values be your compass.

If you want to identify your values, I wrote an article on the topic:

Some questions for journaling:

Now that you’ve pinpointed your top values, what in your life does not align with them? What changes do you feel lead to make?

3. Connect with nature

“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” — Henry David Thoreau

Connecting with nature has innumerable health benefits. It’s easy to ignore nature, as we are a society so obsessed with productivity that overall wellness takes the backseat. Earthing, the practice of walking barefoot, reminds us that we are indeed part of nature.

Research has indicated that sustained ground contact increases the flow of free electrons in the Earth’s surface into the body, which may ameliorate chronic inflammation in the body. Other health benefits include improved sleep and immunity, and stress and pain management.

You don’t need to walk around barefoot. However, you can take in some sunshine, observe a flower, learn about nature and make purchasing choices based on what you’ve learned.

Some questions for journaling:

What are you curious about? How can you get in more time in nature? How do you feel when you’re outside? How can you engage your five senses more?

As previously mentioned, I’m not writing this article to encourage you to walk around barefoot. I still wear shoes, although, once I have a backyard, I’ll go back to spending more time in the dirt. I am hoping, though, that this piece helps you live a life with more peace and direction.