Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now
Don’t confuse the two
Dating should be a fun and exciting time. You may not be ready for Mr. Right and that’s okay. Mr. Right Now might be perfect for the time being, or he could be your biggest mistake. The trick is to know what you’re looking for and be able to identify the type of guy you’re dating.
Mr. Right
He’s your ideal mate. Your ’til death do we part. Your happily ever after. A wedding may not be your goal, but most of us hope to find a partner to share our lives and grow old with.
- He “gets” you, so you can be yourself. You don’t have to inflate your job title, bank account balance, or the number of stamps on your passport. If you’re a bartender, you don’t have to pretend you’re a chemist. He still thinks you’re beautiful after a workout, with a bad case of poison ivy, or a hangover from hell.
- He’s attractive. What’s hot for you may not be hot for everyone. That’s natural. Not only does he curl your toes in the bedroom, but you love his quirks. That cute way he sleeps with his arm over his eyes. How he doesn’t like different food on his plate to touch. When he brushes his teeth and swivels his head instead of moving his arm. Hey, whatever trips your trigger …
- He’s trustworthy. Your blood doesn’t run cold when he decides to go out with the guys. You don’t double check his stories. When he sleeps over, you don’t hide your cash and phone in the freezer. Note: Don’t hide your phone in the freezer!
- He loves who you love, or at least is respectful to them. He may raise an eyebrow but accepts the fact your parents spend most of their time in the bomb shelter in the backyard. When they come out every few weeks, he welcomes them back and offers them some fresh fruit. Bonus: When your best friend obsessively starts building bat houses, he doesn’t diss her. Instead, he thanks her for cutting down the mosquito population.
- He’s reliable. When he says he’ll let your dog out on his lunch hour, you don’t step on a poop pile in your entryway at 5:00. He doesn’t break plans at the last minute.
- He wants the best for you, even when it's not the best for him. You have to go out of town for a month to train for your dream job. Instead of sulking, he tells you how proud he is of you for landing the position and tells you how awesome you’re going to be. He’s your biggest fan, even when he can only see you on Zoom.
- He’s selfless. When your friend lands two tickets and backstage passes to the hottest concert of the year, he doesn’t point out it’s Valentine's Day. Instead, he takes you out the next night for a romantic dinner and wants to hear all about it. Hopefully, you’ll have an autograph for him!
Mr. Right Now
He can be good or bad for you. Make sure you know which one you’re dealing with.
The good kind of Mr. Right Now
- He’s a lot of fun, and that’s about it. Your stomach hurts from laughing so hard and the two of you always have a blast. But no, you don’t want to visit his sick relative in the hospital. Can’t he pick you up after?
- He doesn’t want a commitment either. The sex is squeal-worthy and he’s respectful, but there’s something missing and you both realize it. You always have a date for June wedding season, but neither of you want to put a ring on it. If either of you find someone else, you’ll wish the other all the best.
- You are each other’s stepping stones. You both just got out of a bad relationship and need someone to lean on. You’ve both been leveled by a lover and the two of you build each other back up. No one gets hurt when the ex is mentioned. In fact, both exes are mentioned all the time. You use each other as sounding boards and try to deprogram each other from last toxic relationship. This can be healing and nurturing, but don’t let it continue too long. Both parties need to stand on their own two feet.
- You can learn something from him you otherwise wouldn’t. What’s it like to be with an adrenaline junkie? The older man is intriguing, but what’s it like to date someone with kids and a mortgage? Maybe you find someone who needs a travel buddy. Enjoy the ride and learn from the experience!
The bad kind of Mr. Right Now.
- He should have stayed in the friend zone. He caught you in a weak moment and “it” happened. Now you don’t know how to get out of it. You’d just die if you hurt him. He’s so sweet! And time goes on and he’s getting clingy. Warning: the longer you string him along, the messier it’s going to be. The kind thing to do is cut him loose.
- He’s possessive. This guy wants to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing. Hanging with the girls or spending time with family is frowned upon. This guy is not only exhausting but may become dangerous.
- He answers your questions with a question. He’s a liar and you both know it. This is a red flag. Example: You: Where were you last night? Him: Who, me? You: Didn’t you get my text? Him: When, last night?
Takeaway
At different stages of our lives, we need different types of people around us. There’s a time for Mr. Right and a time for Mr. Right Now. The key is to know which one you’re looking for and be able to tell them apart.
Life’s short. Laugh hard. Live large. Love deep.
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Ladies, don’t let a man get your panties in a twist!
With a grandma like mine, nothing is sacred:
Health officials encourage kink to stay safe from Covid:
Rest assured, this ain’t no love story:
