Summary

In a whimsical tale of a fantastical family, Mira, an elf, steps in to help her ogre sister Grozna prepare a sandwich for school, despite Grozna's peculiar and demanding tastes.

Abstract

The story unfolds in a household where Mother is away on heroic endeavors, leaving Father, an elf, to manage the morning routine. His children include the fire elemental Ember, who mischievously burns Grozna's salad, and Grozna, an ogre with very specific dietary preferences. Mira, the eldest child, intervenes to avert a breakfast disaster by offering to make Grozna a sandwich. Despite Mira's effort to create an elegant sandwich, Grozna's unique preference for a "backwards" sandwich leads to comical misunderstandings and a last-minute adjustment to her meal, highlighting the chaotic yet loving dynamics of this extraordinary family.

Opinions

Grozna's dissatisfaction with a traditionally prepared sandwich indicates a preference for unconventional food arrangements.
The author finds humor in the children's extraordinary abilities and the resulting breakfast calamities.
The father's frustration with the morning's events is tempered with patience and understanding, suggesting a loving and tolerant approach to parenting.
Mira's willingness to help and her ability to handle Grozna's demands demonstrate her role as a reliable and caring sister.
Ember's prank with the salad and subsequent punishment reflects the playful yet disciplined family environment.
The mention of a scoring system and the invitation for readers to follow the author's Medium account imply a playful engagement strategy, inviting reader interaction and feedback.

Fiction| Fantasy| Mash-Up

Mr & Mrs Dankspanner

While Mother was off saving the world with her goblin inventions, Father was making breakfast…

Written for The Kraken Lore’s Monday Mash-Up #6! Thanks to Bradan Writes Stories for forcing me to contribute because I’m just a sucker for food, and couldn’t miss this calamity!

“Daaaaad!!” came a roar from the dining room. “I want a new salad! This one is burnt! See?”

I finished sneaking down the stairs and glanced around the corner to see my adopted sister Grozna flipping the dining table onto its side. Luckily, my elf father L’adrelis was nimble enough to catch everything before anything touched the ground!

“Dearest Grozna, I’ve asked you repeatedly to stop overturning the furniture,” our father said in his usual acquiescence. “And your salad cannot be burnt, it isn’t even cooked!”

Grozna growled, showing Father her plate of charred, burned lettuce and greens. “Burnt. Bad!”

Father carefully replaced the dishes on the table and glared at my middle sibling, who until now had been hiding in the stove.

“Ember? Get out of there! You know I don’t like it when you hide in the oven! Did you burn Grozna’s salad? Bad fire elemental! You don’t get breakfast. GO! Off to your room!”

Ember floated out of the kitchen, looking dejected. As he floated by me, he snuck a sinister wink and a smirk before he darted upstairs.

“I saw that, Ember!” Dad responded with a yell. “You forget that I’m a Diviner. I can see everything!”

“You didn’t see him burn my salad,” Grozna mumbled.

Father let out a big sigh. “My dearest Grozna, is there anything else?” He massaged his ears as a form of stress relief.

Grozna grunted. “What about lunch? I need a sandwich for school!”

I placed my book bag on the table finally and stepped over to hug Father. “Good morning, Father. Good morning, Grozna!” She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, Father has to get ready for work…perhaps I can make you a sandwich.”

Grozna’s eyes lit up as wide as dinner plates. “Oh, Mira, you’re the bestest sister ever! She reached out happily and crushed me with her ogre strength.

“Can’t…breathe…Grozna!”

She immediately let go, of course. She was tremendously strong, but not a bully, after all!

“Thank you, my dear Krasimira,” Father said to me, patting my soft elven hair. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you!” He took off his apron and began to climb the stairs. “Meet you two outside in ten minutes!”

“Okay, Grozna, shall we make you a ham and egg sandwich?” I suggested, knowing full well that my adopted sister hated anything without some kind of meat. Her “salad” was just lettuce with bacon bits drowned in a soup of barbeque sauce!

With some instruction, Grozna prepared everything we’d need for the sandwich — ham, cheese, eggs, toast. Naturally, I crafted her the most elegant sandwich I could manage.

“NOPE!” Grozna screamed when I presented her with my artisan sandwich. “I wanted a backwards sandwich! Egg, bread, and cheese wrapped in ham!” She threw her arms up in the air, nearly sending dishes flying again.

“Oh, Grozna, don’t be like that,” I tried to calm her down. “It would be too messy that way, and fall apart!”

“That’s the point!” she reasoned. “Better for throwing at jerk Timmy in the lunchroom!” She burst out laughing as she stumbled out the front door.

Mortified for the safety of my beautiful sandwich, I grabbed an apple out of the fruit basket and hurried to catch up with my sister.

I had suddenly lost my appetite.

This was great fun! I realize I missed out on some points, but that’s okay!

My Score: 7
Prompt #2: 2 points
Salad is burnt: +1 point
Grozna is a picky eater: +1 point
"New" BBQ Salad Dressing (gross!): +1 point
I hope I managed the hardcore constraint! +2 points
Want a code box for YOUR tally? Type CTRL+ALT+6 in your editor!

Thanks for this Mash-Up. Had me laughing the whole time!

For bonus cookies: I named the two sisters what in English?

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