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Abstract

rite the real thing. For example: tradition can scag itself</li><li>Scrotesque, adjective — the appearance of most testicles</li><li>Sinnovation, noun — finding new ways to do naughty things</li><li>Uberty, noun — Uber for teenagers</li></ul><figure id="6310"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*TtrUFcCjD6QJ5AV2Plxg7w.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><h1 id="fa58">Acrostic Nonrhyming Jargonese</h1><h2 id="bbe1">± Defining ‘shit show,’ ‘clusterfuck,’ ‘fubar,’ & ‘snafu’</h2><figure id="8712"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*o9ENURN3lo9iWFTAI2QtDQ.jpeg"><figcaption>courtesy of <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shit%20show">Merriam-Webster</a>. Screenshots herein are by author.</figcaption></figure>Sinnovation involves free verse about Hot topics such as Ick pics, I mean dick pics and phallucies and that Hogan <a href="undefined">Torah</a> story I will read aloud one of these days which includes Scrotesque language. How do I get myself into such things? Actually, Otto and I own our own actions and Won’t lose sleep over it.<figure id="b64d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*X35_3pN6Y_b-niJ6Mc3D2w.jpeg"><figcaption>courtesy of <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/clusterfuck">Merriam-Webster</a></figcaption></figure>Clever repartee while avoiding Loco parenthesis and playing bingo poetically are Unique writing challenges. Scattering scags and other made-up Terms throughout, such as Errorist, Rampantly spices up one’s Fartisan production. Uberty? Uber for teenagers sounds too expensive for this Cheapskate to espouse. Kudos to Editor Fairy for working it in! We needed a U-word.<figure id="8945"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*1hegTO73a0S-3oAxwDtthA.jpeg"><figcaption>courtesy of <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fubar">Merriam-Webster</a></figcaption></figure>F-words rarely arise Under my normal writing or speaking circumstances. I like P-words better. But bignorance is no excuse. Adaptive behavior is de Rigueur for Outlaws and pirates and writers. So Otto Phil grew a pair.³<figure id="957d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*ycojSoXFXXxpwWVnJNwDBA.jpeg"><figcaption>courtesy of <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/

Options

dictionary/snafu">Merriam-Webster</a></figcaption></figure>Situations in the Muddyverse are rarely Normal. We Mudditors muddle merrily along, publishing Almost all your submittals. Only those Fouled up beyond all recognition end Up returned to sender. Something went wrong. Please try again.<figure id="816e"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*TtrUFcCjD6QJ5AV2Plxg7w.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><h2 id="76e5">Vaguely inspired by this story from Natalie Frank, Ph.D., specifically:</h2><figure id="d26b"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*Glb9Px5FygdDo5jB3mOytA.jpeg"><figcaption>quote from Dr. Frank’s story about writing calls</figcaption></figure>Yeah yeah, I didn’t write meaningful dactylic poems, sorry not sorry. Classic examples of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dactylic_hexameter#In_English">dactylic hexameter</a> are long and didn’t appeal as parody material. I plead poetic license.<figure id="8f3a"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*TtrUFcCjD6QJ5AV2Plxg7w.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure>¹ Except for Speed Scrabble. I love to play that no-balls game. I last played bingo IRL when visiting my friend <a href="undefined">Andrew</a> in California in the ’80s. His grandma insisted on taking us.² See The MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge story, below, for a complete list of Bingo words made up by inspired Outlaws.³ It was going to be that undefined word of Hogan’s, para something, which would’ve ruled out this story for bingo unless I counted wrong.<div id="36e3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-muddyum-writers-challenge-f45d3ffeae9d"> <div> <div> <h2>The MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge</h2> <div><h3>MWC for 2021/2022</h3></div> <div>medium.com</div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*481zNzCjnZ4VDglmb1oLDA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="82ea">Otto Phil fans!? His stories are listed here.</h2>I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you’d like to support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member by clicking <a href="https://seethings99.medium.com/membership">here</a>. Unlimited access to Medium is excellent cheap entertainment at just $50 a year or$ 5 a month.</article></body>

CALLING HOGAN TORAH

Who Has the Balls to Write Bad Poetry? Otto Phil

Mr. AF — Auto Fill — is lazier than I

Fruitily suggestive photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Laziness

I have no corporeal balls in this or any other game. I don’t really play games¹ but am flipping multiple birds with one story finger because I’m lazy. This is a BINGO entry for Susan Brearley’s MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge. David Perlmutter & Sara Zadrima highlighted the other categories before I got there, so I may have a better chance of winning Laziness.

screenshot by author of MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge **(tag “MWC”)** topics

In the midst of writing this MWC story, I conceived Otto Phil. He’s for when Editor Fairy pretends to be manly. Having a virtual split personality is unreal! I’ll blame Editor Fairy or Otto Phil when I get into trouble?

If The Three Faces of Holly win the grand prize, we will donate my $6 times 10 to MuddyUm’s ongoing fundraiser, aka the Mudditor Emergency Fund. No, best to donate $60 now in case Mudditors are ineligible to win biggly. Tough times happen unexpectedly, as witness Rachael Ann Sand’s story.

My Bingo word choices²

Bignorant, adverb — when you’re ill-informed about a large issue
Errorist, noun — a co-worker who terrorizes you with their constant mistakes
Fartisan, noun — a person who’s highly skilled at passing gas
Loco parenthesis, expletive noun — Latin for getting your MuddyUm piece edited by Susan Brearley
Phallucy, adverb — when a man lies about his penis size
Scag, a curse word when you’re unable to write the real thing. For example: tradition can scag itself
Scrotesque, adjective — the appearance of most testicles
Sinnovation, noun — finding new ways to do naughty things
Uberty, noun — Uber for teenagers

Acrostic Nonrhyming Jargonese

± Defining ‘shit show,’ ‘clusterfuck,’ ‘fubar,’ & ‘snafu’

courtesy of Merriam-Webster. Screenshots herein are by author.

Sinnovation involves free verse about Hot topics such as Ick pics, I mean dick pics and phallucies and that Hogan Torah story I will read aloud one of these days which includes Scrotesque language. How do I get myself into such things? Actually, Otto and I own our own actions and Won’t lose sleep over it.

Clever repartee while avoiding Loco parenthesis and playing bingo poetically are Unique writing challenges. Scattering scags and other made-up Terms throughout, such as Errorist, Rampantly spices up one’s Fartisan production. Uberty? Uber for teenagers sounds too expensive for this Cheapskate to espouse. Kudos to Editor Fairy for working it in! We needed a U-word.

F-words rarely arise Under my normal writing or speaking circumstances. I like P-words better. But bignorance is no excuse. Adaptive behavior is de Rigueur for Outlaws and pirates and writers. So Otto Phil grew a pair.³

Situations in the Muddyverse are rarely Normal. We Mudditors muddle merrily along, publishing Almost all your submittals. Only those Fouled up beyond all recognition end Up returned to sender. Something went wrong. Please try again.

Vaguely inspired by this story from Natalie Frank, Ph.D., specifically:

quote from Dr. Frank’s story about writing calls

Yeah yeah, I didn’t write meaningful dactylic poems, sorry not sorry. Classic examples of dactylic hexameter are long and didn’t appeal as parody material. I plead poetic license.

¹ Except for Speed Scrabble. I love to play that no-balls game. I last played bingo IRL when visiting my friend Andrew in California in the ’80s. His grandma insisted on taking us.

² See The MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge story, below, for a complete list of Bingo words made up by inspired Outlaws.

³ It was going to be that undefined word of Hogan’s, para something, which would’ve ruled out this story for bingo unless I counted wrong.

The MuddyUm Writers’ Challenge

MWC for 2021/2022

medium.com

Otto Phil fans!? His stories are listed here.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you’d like to support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member by clicking here. Unlimited access to Medium is excellent cheap entertainment at just $50 a year or $5 a month.