avatarAvi Kotzer

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Abstract

ow I survived racism, sexism, adoption, sexual abuse, small-ism (treated as <a href="https://readmedium.com/https-medium-com-celinel-for-the-record-big-little-person-129469db2bfe">lesser because I am small</a>) and neglect,” but the <b>gist of the</b> <b>takeaway </b>from this sharing is that when you “lose” a large chunk of your childhood and early formative adult years to strife or stressful circumstances, you feel “older” than what you are, and <b>YOU ARE</b>.</p><p id="e221">Your trauma has fast-tracked your spiritual “maturation” process, albeit with stressful twists and challenging turns.</p><p id="2584">You have been forced to deal with adult concepts and with unsafe situations, and while you put up barriers in order not to get hurt more; your Soul has sought out nooks and crannies in which the rose of your eternal Self can grow.</p><p id="f658">There has been no time for taking it easy.</p><p id="0ba9">There has been little time or energy for putting your feet up.</p><p id="6ea9">It’s hammer time.</p><p id="a2a2">You are a survivor.</p><p id="4845">Your Essence was poured into making things fit into a misfit jigsaw puzzle; the greatest puzzle of your life is: <b>the puzzle of who am I?</b></p><p id="0c2b">Not, why me?</p><p id="6a32">Not why not he or she, but what the hell is going on here and now, with me?</p><p id="ffb6">The Soul was not designed to be confused. The Self was not designed to be unloved.</p><figure id="cdda"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*YogBihLw4GFgg1FugiGgUg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@gabebarletta?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Gabriel Barletta</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/search/photos/soul?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="ca28">The mental and emotional bodies have to catch up with the “<b>wisen</b>-<b>ing” </b>Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="0e8e">Your Soul struggled to partner with the drag of the thoughts and emotions which unwittingly denied the largess of the Soul.</p><p id="854e">Soul purpose wrapped itself around the challenges in your life, as body and mind faced life or death choices.</p><p id="703a">“Can I trust this person?”</p><p id="6230">“What does he/she really want?”</p><p id="031a">What if I can’t give them what they want?”</p><p id="47c8">“What shall I do?”</p><p id="2471">“I’m bad, it’s my fault isn’t it?”</p><p id="b954"><b><i>And it often ends with: “I can’t do much right.”</i></b></p><p id="9252">While I aged physiologically, <b>from age fifteen</b> you could say that I was a curious mix of “startled rabbit under the car headlights” and “defiant, solemn, serious adult person.”</p><figure id="6a07"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*n-lWdFEBLqEkiBYmRdq6hQ.jpeg"><figcaption>The author at age 15. Photo provided by the author.</figcaption></figure><p id="60f1">If someone had looked closely, they would have seen the vulnerability and the fright and hurt beneath the veneer of the tough “I’m a normal competent person” that I exhibited, mask-like.</p><p id="5b0c">So, in a way “I grew up before my time.”</p><p id="2c25">I had to reflect, research, strategize, read, plan, try out, up-turn, review, think, meditate, reach out, cogitate, be brave, learn to trust, connect, join up, cry, pray, shout, throw things around, speak out, face serious health issues, forgive myself, write, teach; and even consider ending my own life, in order to survive.</p><h1 id="b49b">The Takeaway: Stay Young by Looking After Yourself and Honoring Yourself</h1><p id="d488" type="7">Surviving is growing if you learn that from your unique pathway that you have become of age spiritually.</p><p id="0543">You have made it. Give yourself a pat on the back.</p><p id="7c51">In extraordinary ways, your Soul has tethered your body and mind to your essence, through a fast-track maturation of Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="6fee"><b>You have in a way aged, and now are free to become younger.</b></p><p id="1999">Use your wisdom from your experiences to understand that you dealt the best you could with the forces of external circumstances upon you, in tandem with being subjected to the strictures of society, and having challenges on your road to growth compounded by the fears and doubts and wants of individuals.</p><p id="e5f3"><b>You did nothing wrong. You are timeless, and herein real peace lies.</b></p><p id="450a">Focus your high beams on your Renaissance.</p><p id="8d69">The time will come, if it hasn’t already when your body intelligence will give you a God-almighty shove, inciting you to take care of yourself, body, lock, stock, and Soul.</p><p id="edc9" type="7">The time will come when you will feel

Options

as though you have lived an age, and it is time then for you to turn your thoughts and living toward being youthful.</p><p id="5863">At 55 years of age I have entered my new world, a new healthy eating lifestyle and a planned exercise regime, having finally shed the last vestige of guilt over nothing that I had done to cause abuse of myself and other children in my adoptive family.</p><p id="4d20">It took 44 years of resisting me.</p><p id="6948">Now I am growing younger, for age, is in the being of the holder.</p><p id="12a6">I have learned that true worth comes from loving yourself as well as from caring about and understanding and supporting others and the worlds we live in.</p><p id="231c">Yes, biologically, I am ageing, but my Spirit or Soul is now free.</p><p id="81ee">With my body, mind and Soul no longer fettered by the chains of remorse or doubt or fear, as my Soul learned its lessons in lurches and steps, that we are all of one energy, and that my mission is to empathize with others (due to my personal experiences), as well as to care for and grow myself, and water my own happiness and comfort, I am now refreshed.</p><p id="f3c0"><b><i>When you are free to be yourself, you know and reach for what you really want and need, and you feel a Lightness of Being.</i></b></p><p id="89b9">Your mind becomes clear, your outlook positive, and your Soul no longer burdened.</p><figure id="6252"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*grTRoCkk66wzTAZvaeSHDw.jpeg"><figcaption>Is your glass half empty or half full? Photo from <a href="http://Image by <a href=" https:="" pixabay.com="" users="" geralt-9301="" ?utm_source="link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=300558"">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=300558">Pixabay</a>">Pixabay.</figcaption></figure><p id="b590">If life has dealt you a rough blow, get as much quality help as you can, and refine your coping strategies and your safe, healthy living in your own supportive inimitable or unique ways.</p><p id="0f74">Even if you are shy and reserved and frightened, break out now and tell your loved ones that you need proper and trusted help, or find someone or some source that can truly or honestly help you.</p><p id="4a0c">The effects are cumulative, meaning seek and take positive growth opportunities as they arise along your timeline, and “interest” will be added or over time the positive or supportive results will magnify.</p><p id="4ce2">The wounds to your spiritual self may not be undone in a week or a day, or even in a month. However, you must recognize that there are stepping stones along your pathway.</p><p id="7b18">They will be there.</p><p id="18cf">Cultivate gratitude for your blessings and keep the spark of your divinity going.</p><p id="eb7f">Take the steps to dissolve any thoughts, physical tensions, and feelings of lack of self-worth or of having done wrong.</p><p id="64af">Look after your body, mind, and Soul.</p><p id="f1ec">You will surely and steadily return to the “youth” of joy at simple things, appreciation for the whole, and having a fresh and curious and positive outlook on Life, unrestrained by collective norms and expectations.</p><p id="aab4">This is the real You, forever young. Stay free.</p><figure id="dc1d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*utnNSnUJUaWCAq2V-G4MzA.jpeg"><figcaption>The author aged 7</figcaption></figure><div id="6fc1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://starstruckworld.wordpress.com/conceive-believe-achieve/"> <div> <div> <h2>undefined</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*vVduIn_gHYYgoupl)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="4161">© No part of this work can be reproduced without permission from the author.</p><figure id="bcc9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*QP1JZ0GOBdyE2uOr-05X7Q.jpeg"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="c9d8"><b>About the Author</b></p><p id="ef8d"><i>Celine Lai was born in Malaya and is the oldest inter-country adopted person in Australia. She loves reading and writing, and runs WordPress blogs and writes technical documents. She blogs mainly on <a href="https://facinatingamazinganimals.com/">Fascinating Animals</a>.</i></p><p id="1989"><a href="https://forms.gle/ysoyKXWBWmb1yVNN9">Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter to be notified of my new Stories</a></p></article></body>

Motte

A castle layout… and a rhetorical move

Credit: MotteAndBaileyMemes/Big Think; modified by Iva Reztok; fair use

Today’s New York Times Spelling Bee letters:

Art: Iva Reztok

E, G, L, O, T, Y, and center M (all words must include M)

Merriam-Webster says…

Credit: merriam-webster.com

Silly little dictionary! Don’t you know that motte can’t possibly be a word if The New York Times says it ain’t?

For a complete list of rejected words, check out the Spelling Bee Master.

What’s your favorite dord* from today’s puzzle?

My Two Cents

One of the great joys in writing this column is the daily learning experience. I always seem to come out of my research with a new and interesting fact, even when I’m dealing with material with which I’m already familiar.

Today was wonderful because I discovered something I knew nothing about. I’m a big fan of rhetoric —in the sense of “the art of speaking or writing effectively”, which I don’t claim to be skilled in— and argument fallacies, especially the informal ones we use and hear on a daily basis.

I don’t have a lot of social media presence, and that is by design. This column’s Twitter account is used exclusively to distribute my articles via that platform (and Medium might be considered social media by many). I’m not on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Snapchat, or LinkedIn.

I joined WhatsApp in 2015, and that provided an interesting lesson in online debates. At the beginning I was very enthusiastic about debating with people and exchanging ideas. The past seven years have provided ample fodder for that, as Trump was elected, Covid-19 bloomed, Russia invaded the Ukraine, and politics in the U.S. –-and the rest of the world–– became even more polarized than they had already been. WhatsApp is just as fertile ground for the same fake news and false information that circulates on other social media feeds.

After a while… well, okay, after a few years, I realized my efforts were largely futile. People tend to believe what they want to believe, all evidence to the contrary be damned. Terms like “cognitive dissonance”, “echo chamber”, and “selective exposure” have become widely known by the general population. Even when it’s seemingly harmless stuff, like the error-riddled life story of KFC founder Colonel Sanders, people don’t care. They like the inspirational message, they explain. Who cares if the information was embellished… or even made up? (I referenced the Colonel Sanders story because just this morning someone posted in one of my WhatsApp chats. I didn’t bother to correct him.)

All this ruminating runaround is due to the fact that today I found out about a argument fallacy I was not aware existed. The image at the top of today’s column provides a hint. Read on to find out more.

The castle design

Our friends at Merriam-Webster tell us the motte was borrowed from the French word , itself from the Old French mote, motte, meaning “mound”. (Today the term means “clump of earth” in French.) This is the same root of the English word moat, also related to castles.

In European castle designs, mottes were raised areas with flat tops upon which the keeps, or fortified towers, were built to serve as both a defense and a refuge in case the lower portion of the castle, or bailey, came under attack. This combined structure became known as a motte-and-bailey castle. It was one of the earliest fortification designs and appeared around the 10th and 11th centuries in Normandy, in the north part of what is modern France. From there it spread across Europe and was exported to England and Wales.

The online Britannica explains this:

The motte-and-bailey castle consisted of an elevated mound of earth, called the motte, which was crowned with a timber palisade and surrounded by a defensive ditch that also separated the motte from a palisaded outer compound, called the bailey. Access to the motte was by means of an elevated bridge across the ditch from the bailey. The earliest motte-and-bailey castles were built where the ground was suitable and timber available, these factors apparently taking precedence over considerations such as proximity to arable land or trade routes. Later on, as feudal social and economic relationships became more entrenched, castles were sited more for economic, tactical, and strategic advantage and were built of imported stone.

The idea behind this design was that people would live their daily lives in and around the bailey, and head to the motte in the event of an attack. Think of the motte as a bomb shelter-slash-command center.

Below is the motte-and-bailey Launceston Castle in England.

Photo by Chris Shaw

A more famous example is Windsor Castle, originally built as a motte and bailey.

My regular readers ––all five of them–– know that I shameless plug other Silly Little Dictionary! articles whenever I can to maximize the number of times I can earn those all-important 13 cents. With that in mind, if you want to read about baileys (both with a lowercase b and an uppercase B), click here.

If not, please keep scrolling down slowly.

The argument fallacy

The dictionary defines fallacy as “an often plausible argument using false or invalid inference” or “a false or mistaken idea”. Fallacies can be classified as formal or informal.

Formal fallacies belong to the realm of standard logic and deductive reasoning in which valid inferences can be drawn from conclusions that follow their premises logically. For example:

  1. If it is raining, there are clouds in the sky. (First Premise)
  2. It is raining. (Second Premise)
  3. Thus, there are clouds in the sky. (Conclusion, or Consequent)

Note that the first premise establishes a logical arrow in one direction only: if it rains, you will look up and see clouds. This is important, because a formal fallacy of the above example could be:

  1. If it is raining, there are clouds in the sky.
  2. There are clouds in the sky.
  3. It is raining.

This is known as “affirming the consequent”. Basically, you are switching the direction in which the arrow of logic points in item 1. If item 1 said “If there are clouds in the sky, then it is raining”, Item 3 could be a correct conclusion based on the information in item 2.

Informal fallacies are errors of reasoning outside the “form” of the argument. Generally speaking, they have more to do with the content itself. One well-known and often used argumentative fallacy is the ad hominen (“against the man”) attack, in which a person criticizes the one doing the arguing instead of the arguments themselves. This if often seen in political debates and courtroom trials.

Another common informal fallacy is the straw man, in which a person attacks a non-existing argument they mentioned themselves in order to knock it down and appear to have settled the issue, which was not brought up by the original arguer. A famous case was Richard Nixon’s “Checkers speech”, in which he responded to accusations of illegally appropriated campaign funds for his personal use by talking about a cocker spaniel his family had received (named Checkers), and defiantly stating he would not return the dog.

Related to the straw man fallacy is the mott-and-bailey fallacy, or doctrine. This was coined by British philosopher Nicholas Shackel at the beginning of the 21st century to describe what can be called a “reverse straw man”. In this case, the person doing the arguing misrepresents their original controversial or indefensible argument (the bailey) by restating it as something easier to defend (the motte).

Or, as the popular meme template explains…

Credit: MotteAndBaileyMemes/Big Think; fair use

The key here is that the arguer is not retreating from their original position or changing their mind; they are simply rephrasing it as a proposition that will likely not be attacked or refuted. For example:

Bailey: Beer should be outlawed across the entire country for people of all ages. Counterargument: Responsible adults should be able to enjoy low-alcohol beverages. Motte: Drunk driving is terrible and has killed many people.

No one can question that last statement. When the person concedes the point, the arguer takes it to mean that their original point about outlawing beer is valid.

Stephen Johnson wrote a great article summarizing this informal fallacy.

If you prefer to watch a video, however, we’ve also got one for you:

Now you know. Next time you’re listening to a debate in which a person uses a reverse strawman argument, you can tell your friends you heard someone “try a bailey”. That’s right. You can’t say “motte-and-bailey”, unfortunately. And that’s because the editors of the Spelling Bee decided that motte is a dord*.

You can check out my previous entry on another dord* here:

*What the heck is a dord, you ask? Here’s the answer:

Spelling Bee
Language
Rhetoric
Castles
Fallacy
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